Centaur of Attention
by Kenya Starflight
Summary: A Star WarsXanth crossover. Vader and Luke are transported into a bizarre fantasy land via computer game. No knowledge of Xanth required to enjoy this story.
1. Chapter 1 Jenny Elf

Centaur of Attention  
  
A Star Wars/Xanth Crossover  
  
by Kenya Starflight  
  
Rated PG-13 for mild violence, references to storks, and Vader and Metria being their usual ornery/obnoxious selves  
  
Part I -- Jenny Elf  
  
It was an unassuming datadisk, giving the appearance of being of no great importance. There were no markings on it, no labels, no signs that it had been password-locked or encoded. For all Vader knew, it could be a diary, love letter, will, or any number of things, all inconsequential to the war against the Alliance.  
  
But the fact that it had been in the possession of a captured Rebel made it instantly suspicious.  
  
The Rebel had denied it was at all valuable. In fact, he had claimed it was just a computer game. Then again, he'd also claimed he was just an asteroid prospector rather than the Rebel X-wing fighter pilot he most definitely was. And since he'd been most uncooperative when asked to divulge information, he'd died an exquisitely painful death.  
  
Vader sat down before his personal computer, sliding the disk into the drive. He could have ordered an underling to inspect it, but he trusted no one but himself with the task. With the Emperor formulating an elaborate trap for the Rebellion, they couldn't risk the faction gaining an upper hand before they were ready.  
  
Besides, he needed something to distract himself from thoughts of his son. Ever since his encounter with Luke on Bespin he'd been having the strangest delusions...  
  
The screen blanked out. Had the disk carried a virus? No, it was merely loading a program. A figure of a tiny man appeared and addressed him.  
  
"Hi! I'm Grundy Golem. I'm from the land of Xanth, and I speak your language. I'm your temporary Companion. If you don't like me you can get rid of me in just a minute. But first listen a bit, okay? Because I'm here to take your hand and lead you through the preliminaries without confusion. Any questions you have, you just ask me. You do that by touching the Q key, or clicking the right side on your mouse. So go ahead -- ask."  
  
A computer game. That blasted Rebel had been right. He didn't have time for frivolities like this. He reached for the disk.  
  
Then he wondered. The Alliance was cunning. They could have developed this game as a means of delivering a message. They'd done such things in the past. A high-ranking Imperial had once been caught betraying vital information to the Rebellion and executed, but they'd found nothing of interest among his possessions and auctioned them off for funds. Only later was it discovered that a seemingly innocuous painting among his assets, purchased by a Rebel fence, had actually been a coded message for the Alliance detailing a planned assault on a Rebel shipyard. That slip in vigilance had cost the Empire victory at that embarrassing fiasco some called the Battle of Tanaab.  
  
No, he'd best scour this program carefully, lest it contain valuable data. With some misgivings he tapped the Q key.  
  
A massive finger appeared on the screen and nudged Grundy so hard he staggered. "Hey, not so hard!" the golem snapped. "Okay, so you have a question. You have one of those primitive Mundane keyboards, right? So you have two ways to do it. You can type the question so I can see it, or you can touch ENTER and it will bring up the list of the ten most common questions at this stage. Then you can use your arrow keys to highlight the question you want, and touch ENTER again, or just shortcut by typing the number of the question you want. I'll wait while you decide. If you want me to resume without waiting, touch ESCAPE." He took a step back and twiddled his thumbs.  
  
Vader thought it might be simpler to voice his own questions but decided to have a look anyway. He punched ENTER.  
  
Grundy reached down and caught hold of a bit of string at the bottom of the screen. He pulled it up, and a scroll of print unrolled. There were numbered questions:  
  
1.How do I get out of this crazy game?  
  
2.How can I shortcut to the action?  
  
3.Who is that creature on the cover?  
  
4.Can I get my money back if I quit now?  
  
5.How do I get a better Companion?  
  
6.How do I save my place so I can take a bathroom break and pick up where I left off?  
  
7.What makes you think this game is so great?  
  
8.Can a friend play too?  
  
9.What's the prize for winning?  
  
0.How many printed questions are there, and can I call them up anytime?  
  
So they had already had some player input. He tapped the 0 key.  
  
"There are a hundred questions in this edition of the Companions of Xanth game, and there may be more in future editions as we get more player feedback. You can call up the list anytime by touching HELP and paging down. For two-digit numbers you can hold down the first number while you touch the second, and both digits will register. But it's probably easier to just ask me."  
  
It probably was. All the same, he decided to toy with the list some more. He might ferret out a hole in the program. He typed 1.  
  
"To quit this game, touch ALT-ESCAPE and turn off the set. But I hope you don't quit yet; you haven't given us a fair chance. We hardly know you."  
  
They hardly knew him? Was this one of those artificial-intelligence games? He doubted it. He touched the 2 key.  
  
"To shortcut directly to the action, touch SHIFT-ESCAPE. But I strongly advise against this, because there's more you have to do, like checking in, and you'll be stuck with me as your Companion. Once you know the ropes, you can skip this whole scene, but please don't do it this time."  
  
He checked the list again. 3 and 4 were irrelevant, as the game was missing its box and he hadn't actually purchased it. 7 was laughable, as the game designers would never program negative comments into their own game. 8? He hadn't any friends unless one counted the Emperor, who was less a friend than a Master to him, and the Emperor had no use for games.  
  
Suddenly Grundy piped up. "Maybe it's time you asked about Companions, if that isn't clear yet."  
  
ALL RIGHT, WHAT ABOUT COMPANIONS? he typed.  
  
"I'm so glad you asked about Companions! That is of course the name of this game, and the main thing that distinguishes it from others. In this game you are never left to flounder helplessly, guessing at the procedures. You have a Companion to guide you through. Anything you need to know, you can ask your Companion, and if he (or she, if you select a female) doesn't know the answer, he'll give you a responsive guess. He will also warn you when you are going wrong, and in general be a true friend to you. You can trust your Companion absolutely -- except for one thing. Touch Y or ENTER if you want to know about that one thing."  
  
Leave me hanging, why don't you? he thought acidly, punching ENTER.  
  
"That is smart of you. You see, your Companion is your truest friend, ordinarily. But there is one chance in seven that he will be a False Companion. That one will pretend to be your friend, but will lead you into mischief and doom. So if you get that one, you must be wary, and not take his bad advice. Unfortunately, there is no obvious way to tell a Fair Companion from a False Companion, because they look and act the same -- until some key point in the game, when the False Companion will betray you. You must judge only by assessing the quality of the advice you are given, and recognizing bad advice. If you are able to identify your False Companion, you can not exchange him for another; once you choose your Companion, you are stuck with him throughout the game. You can ask him to go away, but then you will be alone in the game without guidance and are likely to get eaten by a dragon, or suffer some worse fate. It is better to keep him with you, but to be wary of him. It is possible to win the game with a False Companion, just a lot more difficult."  
  
SUPPOSE I QUIT THE GAME AND START OVER, Vader suggested.  
  
"If you try to leave the game and return, so as to get a new Companion, you will find that the layout of the game has changed, so that not only are you not certain whether your new Companion is True or False, you are not sure whether paths which were safe before remain so. If you are well along in the game, it is better to just continue. But it is your choice, of course."  
  
Ah. A challenge. He enjoyed that sort of thing. But what was this about a prize? Somehow he'd missed question number 9. Perhaps the game was a puzzle to conceal information on this disk. Only a Rebel with the proper knowledge would be able to win the game and access the data.  
  
But he knew plenty about computers, and while no game guru, he was confident that he could best the puzzles this game presented. He touched 9.  
  
"The prize for winning the game, which is not easy to do, is to receive a magic talent, which will be yours in any future games you play. We do not know what that talent is, but it will surely be a good one, that will be a great advantage for you."  
  
So the game said. But he preferred his theory. He tapped 5.  
  
Grundy frowned. "I was hoping you would decide to stay with me. I can speak the languages of animals and plants, and learn things that others cannot." Then he smiled. "But maybe you still will choose me. Here are the six other Companions from which to choose." He pulled up another scroll.  
  
This contained six names: Goody Goblin, Horace Centaur, Jenny Elf, Marrow Bones, Demoness Metria, and Nada Naga. He selected a name more or less at random and pressed ENTER.  
  
JENNY ELF, NATIVE TO THE WORLD OF TWO MOONS AND AN IMMIGRANT TO XANTH. MAGIC TALENT ENABLES HER TO DRAW OTHERS INTO HER DREAMS, AND OWNS SAMMY CAT, A FELINE WHO CAN FIND ANYTHING EXCEPT HOME. AGE 15, NICE, KIND, KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT XANTH AND UNDERSTANDING OF NEWCOMERS. ASSETS: INNOCENCE CAN BE USEFUL AND CAT CAN LOCATE THINGS UPON REQUEST. LIABILITIES: FALLS UNDER ADULT CONSPIRACY.  
  
What in the galaxy was the Adult Conspiracy? He decided it didn't matter. Jenny was as good a Companion as any. He pressed ENTER.  
  
A short, delicate girl with long hair and pointed ears, wearing a checkered shirt and trousers, and carrying a yellow cat in her arms stepped onto the screen. "Thank you, Grundy. I'll take it from here."  
  
Grundy sighed and walked offscreen.  
  
"Hello, Player! I'm Jenny Elf, and I'm glad I've been chosen as your Companion. This is my cat, Sammy. He's very smart and can find anything you ask him to. Who are you?"  
  
He considered using an alias, since the Rebels might have programmed the game to be sensitive to the names of high-ranking Imperials and prevent them from winning -- uh, cracking the code. But the desire to show the scum exactly who they were dealing with won out.  
  
LORD DARTH VADER, he typed.  
  
Her eyes went wide. "Oh, you're a Lord!" She set Sammy down and curtsied politely. "Pleased to meet you. Shall I call you Lord Vader, or can I call you by your first name?"  
  
Then the game recognized him. Would it make much of a difference? At least it hadn't been programmed to insult him or eject him directly from the game. LORD VADER WILL SUFFICE, he replied.  
  
"I'd like to hear all about you," she said eagerly, "but that can wait until we're in the game proper. I must ask you to do a few things so we can really enjoy this. First, you need to refocus your eyes. See those dots at the top of the screen?"  
  
He looked. Two black spots glared back. YES.  
  
"I must ask you to refocus your eyes until you see three dots instead of two. That way, we can see each other as rounded images instead of flat. Try it."  
  
Wondering what this was supposed to accomplish, he gazed at the dots and relaxed his eyes, letting them drift out of focus. The two dots blurred, separated into four, then merged into three as he corrected their focus slightly. When he looked upon Jenny again he was startled to see her features stand out in sharp, three-dimensional detail. So this game was similar to those computer-generated "magic" 3D pictures so popular among the galaxy's youth.  
  
"That's better," she noted. "You look much better with a shape than flat. But the next task is going to be trickier. You see, to properly play the game you have to suspend your disbelief in Xanth."  
  
He blinked, puzzled. Suspend his disbelief?  
  
"It may be hard for you, being Mundanian and all, but if you can do it you'll be able to truly enjoy your experience in Xanth. But if not... well, we can still win the game."  
  
What was this nonsense? The Rebels expected people to actually believe this rubbish? Dragons and demons were all the stuff of children's tales. But then, if the Rebels believed they could overthrow the Empire, they probably believed such drivel as dragons, demons, and a fantasy world called Xanth.  
  
I CANNOT DO SUCH AT THIS TIME.  
  
"Oh," she replied, looking crestfallen. "Well, we can play anyway. And don't worry. The first Player I was Companion to had a hard time believing too, at first." She motioned as if expecting him to follow her. "Let's go!"  
  
The screen moved as if he were truly following in Jenny's footsteps. The screen was filled with a lush jungle glade, each leaf and vine and flower standing out in 3D relief. He had to give it to the game creators -- this was a pretty realistic game. Though why they'd put so much painstaking effort into a concealed message baffled him at the moment.  
  
WHERE MIGHT WE BE ABLE TO FIND THE... PRIZE? he typed.  
  
"We can ask Sammy to find it," Jenny replied, scooping the cat up in her arms. "He can find anything except home. But the problem is, once he knows how to find something, he just runs off toward it, and we'd have to chase him so we didn't lose him. And we don't know what dangers lay between here and the prize."  
  
THEN WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST WE DO?  
  
"I think we should go to the Good Magician. He knows the answer to every question there is to ask. He usually charges a year of service for the answer, but I don't think that rule applies to Players."  
  
VERY WELL. LET US FIND THIS GOOD MAGICIAN. Very creative name, he thought.  
  
She set Sammy down. "Sammy, find a path that leads to the Good Magician's castle. Not a safe enchanted path -- the game bars us from those -- but a game-approved path."  
  
The instant her mouth closed on the heels of the last word the cat was off in a blur of tawny fur. She shouted for him to wait for her and ran off after him, while Vader followed via his screen.  
  
PERHAPS THAT ANIMAL SHOULD BE KEPT ON A LEASH, he advised, then caught himself. Why was he giving advice to a computer program?  
  
Sammy came to an abrupt halt, yowling. But there wasn't a path to be seen, only a pair of vicious-looking droids.  
  
"You may not pass," the first rumbled in a monotone voice.  
  
"Authorized personnel only," the second added in an identical voice.  
  
Vader studied the droids carefully. They weren't any droid he was familiar with. Quadrupedal like AT-ATs with feet resembling cloven hooves, their bodies were stocky and animal-like, with long necks and muzzles and audioreceptors that resembled long ears. They were plated in gleaming silver metal, and their photoreceptors glowed blood-red.  
  
WHAT ARE THOSE?  
  
"I'm not sure," Jenny replied. "I think they're a special game challenge. Hold on; I'll ask them." She stepped up to the first one. "Excuse me, may I ask who you are?"  
  
"We're assassin droids," it boomed. "We were told to guard this area and kill anyone not authorized to pass." It regarded her coldly with one fiery photoreceptor. "Are you authorized to pass?"  
  
"Well... ah... I don't know..."  
  
The second droid opened metallic jaws, and a beam of acid-green light streaked toward Jenny. She screamed and ducked, and the blast struck a tree and blasted it to flaming splinters.  
  
"Oh dear," she moaned. "That was such a lovely pie tree."  
  
IT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU, Vader remarked. I MUST SAY, THESE ARE UNUSUAL DROIDS. I'VE SEEN MANY KINDS OF ASSASSIN DROIDS, BUT NONE LIKE THIS.  
  
"I think it's because most things look different in Xanth," she replied. "It has something to do with the name."  
  
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?  
  
"Well, an ass is a Mundanian animal, with the body of a centaur, the head of a sea horse, and long ears. And there's two here. So they're ass-ass-in droids."  
  
Vader rolled his eyes. The game programmers had a truly bizarre sense of humor.  
  
"You in the black," the second droid croaked. "On the screen. Are you authorized to pass?"  
  
He decided to be blunt. IT DEPENDS ON IF YOU ANSWER OUR QUESTIONS, YOU ASININE HEAP OF MALFUNCTIONING CIRCUITS.  
  
The insult had its intended effect -- both droids were too taken aback to fire. He pressed on.  
  
WHO ASSIGNED YOU TO THIS AREA?  
  
"The demon Grossclout," the first replied.  
  
"He's the one running the game," Jenny whispered. "So they're a game challenge, I'll bet."  
  
AND WHAT WERE HIS EXACT ORDERS?  
  
"To guard this area and not allow anyone through that the demons haven't authorized to be in the area," said the second.  
  
"I'm authorized!" Jenny exclaimed. "I'm a Companion, recruited by Grossclout himself!"  
  
"You may pass," the first droid growled.  
  
"What about the cat?" the second demanded.  
  
"Oh, he's authorized too," Jenny assured them.  
  
The first droid lifted a hoof to let Sammy go by. "And the screen -- is he authorized to pass?"  
  
"Yes, he's a Player..." Jenny began.  
  
"Did Grossclout give him permission to pass through this area?" asked the second.  
  
"Well... uh..."  
  
The first droid opened its mouth. The screen jerked as if he were dodging the shot, and a loud crack echoed from the computer speakers as the blast struck another tree. The droid prepared to shoot again.  
  
NOW JUST A MINUTE, YOU STUBBORN SCRAP PILE ON FOUR LEGS!  
  
"Yes?" asked the second droid.  
  
I AM A PLAYER. THE GIRL SAID SO.  
  
"But you haven't been given permission by Grossclout to be here," the first croaked.  
  
I'M IN THE GAME, AREN'T I?  
  
"Apparently," the second conceded.  
  
AND I MUST BE AUTHORIZED TO PLAY, OR ELSE THIS GROSSCLOUT FELLOW WOULD HAVE EJECTED ME BY NOW, RIGHT?  
  
"Indubitably," the first agreed.  
  
SO I'M HERE IN THE GAME.  
  
"Most definitely," the second noted.  
  
AND I'M AUTHORIZED TO BE IN THE GAME.  
  
"Quite probably," the first allowed.  
  
THUS, I MUST BE AUTHORIZED TO PASS THROUGH HERE.  
  
The droids were silent.  
  
WELL? he demanded.  
  
"You may pass," the second said grudgingly.  
  
"That was amazing, Lord Vader!" Jenny said in awe as they followed Sammy again. "You were great!"  
  
I HOPE THAT WAS THE WORST OF OUR CHALLENGES.  
  
"Don't count on it. Very few players are supposed to make it to the end of the game."  
  
Sammy came to a halt, sat back on his haunches, and proceeded to groom himself. Before them was a well-worn path that forked off in two directions. The first fork was marked with a sign that read "Good Magician's Castle and Ogre-Fen Ogre-Fen." The second had a sign indicating "Good Magician's Castle and Com Pewter's Cave."  
  
"Both these paths should take us to the Good Magician," Jenny explained. "But each one has a different obstacle along the way."  
  
WHAT PATH DO YOU SUGGEST?  
  
"That's up to you to decide. You're the Player."  
  
WHAT IS THE OGRE-FEN OGRE-FEN?  
  
"It's where the ogres live."  
  
AND WHAT IS AN OGRE?  
  
"A huge, stupid, enormously strong, and incredibly ugly monster that vaguely resembles a giant human. They like to talk in rhyme and destroy or chomp anything they meet."  
  
AND WHO OR WHAT IS COM PEWTER?  
  
"He's an evil machine. Actually, he was made nice by the Zombie Master's daughter, but he's evil again for the game's purposes. If you stumble into his cave, you're his to toy with to his whim unless you find a way to escape."  
  
ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, I THINK WE'D BEST TAKE THE PATH TO COM PEWTER'S CAVE. I'D RATHER DEAL WITH A MACHINE THAN GIANTS.  
  
Jenny smiled a smile that seemed to illuminate the entire screen. "After seeing you outsmart the ass-ass-in droids, I'm sure you can handle Com Pewter."  
  
Even though the elf girl was only a computer image, he was strangely touched by her comment. 


	2. Chapter 2 Demoness Metria

Part II -- Demoness Metria  
  
Wedge poked his head into Luke's sleeping quarters. "Hey Luke, care to join us?"  
  
Luke barely raised his head from the computer screen. "I'm not really in the mood."  
  
"C'mon, you haven't been in the mood for a good Rogue Squadron vs. Ground Crew smashball game since... well, for weeks!" Wedge protested. "I thought you loved smashball."  
  
Luke mumbled something about not feeling well, which was a half-truth. Ever since... that happened, he'd felt utterly miserable.  
  
"Not feeling well for three weeks straight is a problem, Luke," Wedge insisted, entering the room and standing next to Luke's desk. "If you really have been sick for three weeks, go to the med center."  
  
"Go away."  
  
"I'm not going away." Wedge folded his arms defiantly. "And quit the sabaac game and talk. You haven't been the same since you and Leia got back from Bespin. What happened there? Leia told us all she knew, but you haven't said two words about it."  
  
Luke turned to look Wedge in the eye. The Corellian wore an expression of concern, obviously worried about his friend. He couldn't help smiling. He and Wedge had flown many missions together since their first encounter in the briefing room on Yavin before the Death Star's destruction. They had compared flight sims, overhauled hyperdrive engines, had snowball fights on Hoth, joked around, played pranks on ground crew, and otherwise enjoyed good and ill times together. He was the closest friend he had -- apart from Leia and Han. And as Leia already knew most of what had happened to him on Cloud City and Han was frozen in carbonite half a galaxy away, Wedge was a logical choice as a confidant.  
  
"When I was on Bespin, I ran into Darth Vader," he began.  
  
"I'm sorry," Wedge replied, instantly sympathetic.  
  
"There's more. He... he wanted me. He was planning on capturing me and taking me to the Emperor. I barely escaped with my life."  
  
"Why would he want... of course." Wedge squeezed his shoulder sympathetically. "You're a Jedi. And any Jedi they can't corrupt, they want dead. That's how you lost your hand, isn't it?"  
  
He nodded. How he wanted to go on, to tell Wedge about that awful moment of revelation, that horrible yet tempting promise of power, that moment when he'd hung in a terrible balance, facing either almost certain death or a mockery of a life as a servant of darkness. But how would Wedge react? Would he still be sympathetic? Or would he regard Luke as an enemy?  
  
"We've lost a lot of our best soldiers and leaders to Vader," Wedge went on. "It's terrible that you ran afoul of him, but at least you came out of it alive. Others weren't so lucky."  
  
"Yeah," he said under his breath, "well at least those others didn't find out they were the offspring of the Emperor's right-hand man."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
Luke belatedly realized he'd spoken aloud. "Wedge..."  
  
"Your... your father's Darth Vader?" He'd gone white as a sheet at Luke's comment. "Why didn't you ever tell us?!"  
  
"Wedge, calm down," pleaded Luke. "I don't even know if it's true. Vader told me on Bespin."  
  
"Luke," Wedge moaned, sinking onto the edge of Luke's bed. "Luke, this is horrible. No wonder you didn't want to talk about it. I'm sorry I pried it out of you."  
  
"It had to come out sometime," Luke replied. "Anyway, it feels better to have told someone."  
  
Wedge shook his head. "He had to have lied. Your father was a Jedi, not a Sith. But still, to do that to you... was cruel. Messing with your head like that. I never realized just how sadistic the Sith were until now."  
  
Luke stared darkly at the computer screen. "What if he's right, though? What if I really am... Sithspawn?"  
  
"You aren't Sithspawn, Luke. Your father was Anakin Skywalker, a Jedi. General Kenobi himself told you. And if he can't be trusted, who can?"  
  
Wedge might as well have simply socked Luke in the gut. If Ben had lied to him... The thought was unthinkable, but what if the old Jedi had truly deceived him? How much of what Ben had told him, taught him, could be trusted?  
  
"Besides, Vader's not exactly a heartthrob," Wedge added. "You have to have a mother, too, and what woman in their right mind would go for him?"  
  
Wedge was trying to be funny, of course, but that got Luke thinking. Who was his mother? If his father's identity was shadowy, his mother was a downright mystery. Was she still alive? If his father was Anakin, how had she reacted when she learned of his death? And if his father was Vader, what had she seen in him?  
  
So many questions... no answers.  
  
"Well, I'd better let you be, Luke," said Wedge. "Still sure about not playing? We need a good halfback."  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure."  
  
He nodded. "I understand now. You have a lot on your mind."  
  
"You'll keep this quiet, won't you?" Luke couldn't keep a pleading tone out of his voice.  
  
"I won't tell a soul," Wedge replied, then left.  
  
Luke sighed heavily and quit the sabaac game. Sure, Wedge could be sensible about this. He wasn't the one who had to debate with himself over who his father really was -- noble Jedi or cursed Sith. Or why Obi-wan would lie to him about it. Or how this revelation would affect his future. Or how even closer friends would react to the news -- Leia, who had suffered so much at Vader's hand, would doubtless shun him forever, while Han would probably be more direct about it and shoot him outright.  
  
He'd already spent three weeks thinking about the entire mess, and he was sick of it. He needed a distraction.  
  
He reopened the program he'd put on standby earlier -- a game called "Companions of Xanth." Rogue Ten, a Zabrak named Mek Nekko, had given Luke a copy of it just days before his final mission, which had ended tragically when his entire party had been captured by the Empire. Mek had never played it, but Luke had listened to Grundy's intro and thought it sounded interesting.  
  
He perused the list again. Odd -- Jenny Elf's name was missing. In her place was Smash Ogre. The list must change every so often, he decided. He'd already read the other five intros, though, and all the Companions seemed more or less equal. It didn't really matter who he chose. He closed his eyes, stabbed at the screen with his finger, and opened them again.  
  
"Demoness Metria," he mused. He read her bio again.  
  
DEMONESS METRIA, AGELESS VAPOROUS BEING CAPABLE OF ALTERING HER SHAPE. SLIGHTLY CRAZY AND MISCHIEVOUS, EVEN FOR A DEMON, PREFERS EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE HUMAN FORM OVER ALL OTHER FORMS. AGE UNKNOWN, EXTREMELY KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT XANTH, EXPERIENCED. ASSETS: ABILITY TO ASSUME MANY USEFUL FORMS. LIABILITIES: LACKS A SOUL, HAS PROBLEMS SPEAKING.  
  
"Well, let's give her a shot," he muttered, hitting ENTER.  
  
A sultry woman in a low-cut scarlet dress stepped onto the screen. "Hi, Player. I'm the Demoness Metria, your Companion. And you might be...?"  
  
LUKE SKYWALKER, he typed.  
  
"Skywalker?" She lifted an eyebrow. "Weird name."  
  
Luke scowled. Maybe he should have picked a different Companion. One that was going to insult him the whole way would quickly get irritating.  
  
"Oh well, I can manage it. But who cares? Just refocus your eyes, okay? I'm tired of staring at a flat face. Those two dots at the top of the screen will become three when you've done it right."  
  
He looked at the dots, then adjusted his eyes until a third became visible. Immediately shapes on the screen became textured, formed, like a holoprogram instead of a 2D picture. Amazing technology!  
  
"Much better. You're in fine rounded form now."  
  
He was tempted to say she was the one in fine rounded form, but he judged it best to keep quiet. SO HOW DO I GET STARTED?  
  
"Not so fast, Skytrotter..."  
  
SKYWALKER.  
  
"Whatever. First, now that your eyes are refocused, you need to hang your disbelief in Xanth."  
  
I NEED TO WHAT?  
  
"String up, execute, end, terminate, delay..."  
  
OH, SUSPEND MY DISBELIEF.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Believe in this stuff? It was entertaining, he supposed, and even endearing in its own jolly way, but just a fantasy. He could no more believe in it than he could flap his arms and fly.  
  
I CAN'T. I CAN HAVE FUN PLAYING THE GAME, BUT I'LL ALWAYS KNOW THAT YOU'RE JUST A COMPUTER IMAGE.  
  
She looked offended. "I'm certainly no evil machine!"  
  
COMPUTERS AREN'T EVIL.  
  
"The only Com Pewter I know is." She huffed. "Well, I suppose I should cut you some slack. You're Mundanian, after all."  
  
He bit his tongue as he typed. LET'S JUST PLAY THE GAME, ALL RIGHT? WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD DO?  
  
"Well, since you won't suspend your disbelief, I suppose we should just go on toward the Good Magician's castle. He answers questions for the charge of a year's service, but I'm sure Players get off liberated."  
  
GET OFF WHAT?  
  
"Emancipated, unbound, unpriced, no charge..."  
  
FREE?  
  
"Whatever."  
  
LEAD THE WAY, METRIA.  
  
She startled him by turning into a giant worm-like creature vaguely resembling an asteroid slug. But then, she was a demoness, capable of changing her shape. Now he knew how far her morphing abilities could go, and perhaps they could go farther than that. He would soon find out, he figured.  
  
WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?  
  
"Isn't it obvious? I'm a diggle. Oh, you don't have them in Mundania. Diggles can travel through rock and stone without tunneling. Hop on and we'll go for a ride."  
  
The screen lurched as if he were indeed mounting the demon/diggle, and she plunged forward as if the earth around her were a sea. The scenery sped past at a fast clip.  
  
"Hey, travelers!"  
  
Metria turned a bit. "Uh-oh, it's a yak."  
  
WHAT'S A YAK?  
  
"An irritating rabbity beast."  
  
RABBITY?  
  
"Fuzzy, furry, shaggy, scruffy..."  
  
HAIRY?  
  
"Whatever. A yak will talk your ear off if it gets a quarter of a chance. Plenty of people have lost ears to yaks."  
  
WHAT DO WE DO?  
  
"Just ignore it."  
  
"Wait up!" shouted the yak, taking a flying leap atop the diggle's back. "You look like you could use some commentary about the area, Mrs. Diggle and Mr. Screen."  
  
GO AWAY.  
  
"But I have so many interesting things to say!"  
  
"Nice one, Skyscraper," Metria humphed. "I said to ignore him, and I meant it. Now he'll never leave, and your ears will fall off."  
  
WELL, THERE MUST BE A WAY TO GET RID OF IT.  
  
"Short of getting a dragon to chomp him? No. You can't outrun a yak that's latched onto you; he'll just follow you..."  
  
MAYBE I CAN OUTTALK HIM.  
  
"I doubt it."  
  
"...and up ahead is a copse of orange trees," the yak rambled. "Note the color of the leaves and trunk, true to its name. And at its base are tulips, the most kissable plants of all..."  
  
Luke began typing. INCOM STARFIGHTER, INC., WAS ESTABLISHED APPROXIMATELY FIVE YEARS AFTER THE RISE OF THE EMPIRE, GEARED FROM THE BEGINNING TO COMPETE DIRECTLY WITH KUWAT SHIPYARDS...  
  
"...palm trees are quite plentiful in Xanth, especially near the Ever Glades, and are directly related to the ladyfinger plants..."  
  
...ESTABLISHED ITSELF AS A SERIOUS COMPETITOR WITH ITS SKYHOPPER. THOUGH NOT A SPACE VESSEL, IT WAS A FAST-MOVING VEHICLE THAT BECAME INSTANTLY POPULAR WITH YOUTH...  
  
"...the temperamental popcorn plant that explodes when disturbed, but is a favorite treat of unicorns..."  
  
...SKYHOPPER IS RUMORED TO BE THE BASIS OF THE DESIGN FOR THE IMPERIAL SHUTTLE...  
  
"...just one of the many uses for reverse wood, which reverses the magic of everything around it..."  
  
...CREATING THE FAST, POWERFUL, AND PILOT-FRIENDLY X-WING STARFIGHTER, MAINSTAY OF THE ALLIANCE...  
  
Luke kept typing, going into extreme detail about the weapon capabilities, shield strength, maneuverability, and vital statistics of the average X-wing. The yak matched him almost word for word, gabbing about everything and anything he laid eyes on. Not wanting to risk the animal gaining ground, he kept going. His fingers cramped and felt ready to fall off, but he didn't slow down.  
  
Finally he ran out of information and removed his hands from the keyboard to flex them. The yak was staring at him from the other side of the screen, mysteriously silent.  
  
"I'll be," it noted. "You're a natural, kid." And it jumped off the diggle's back and trotted away.  
  
"I'll be," Metria echoed. "You outtalked a yak. That's got to be a first for anyone, Xanthian or Mundanian."  
  
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE A PLAYER. HOW MUCH FARTHER?  
  
"Who knows? And I'm sure we'll have lots more challenges before we get there."  
  
I CAN HARDLY WAIT. 


	3. Chapter 3 Wormhole

Part III -- Wormhole  
  
Jenny and Vader were thoroughly tired by now -- Jenny exhausted by the trek, Vader simply sick and tired of the weirdness around him. Whoever designed this game must have been a spice addict. No normal person could conceive such bizarre concepts as the ass-ass-in droids, tangle trees, or firecracker plants.  
  
I'M ALMOST AFRAID TO ASK, BUT WHAT PLANT IS THAT?  
  
"Oh, just a thyme plant," she replied casually.  
  
NOTHING HERE IS 'JUST' SOMETHING.  
  
"Well, thyme is a special plant, one no one ever seems to have enough of. The closer you get to a thyme plant, the more things around you speed up while you slow down.  
  
EXCUSE ME?  
  
"To you it will look as if everything around you has sped up. But to others you will seem to be moving slowly. Unless, of course, it was dried thyme. Then everything around you will appear to move slowly while you're actually going faster. Then, of course, there's reverse wood..."  
  
REVERSE WHAT?  
  
"Reverse wood. It reverses the magical effects of something or someone. So reverse wood would make fresh thyme act like dry thyme and dry thyme act like fresh thyme."  
  
Vader's head was reeling with this strange information. Was the game made to so thoroughly baffle its player that they would give up before finishing, thus protecting the sealed data within?  
  
WHERE ARE WE? he typed. They had been traveling uneventfully for over an hour.  
  
"Just outside the Ogre-fen Ogre-fen. Soon we'll be going past the Regions of the Elements -- Void, Water, Fire, Earth, and Air. They're all very dangerous except the Region of Water, so its best to stay on course and not venture near them."  
  
They continued onward, down the path Sammy had pointed out. Along the way Jenny had paused to show him different plants and animals and explain their usefulness or dangers. He took note of the information that seemed significant enough. It could prove useful in a later game puzzle.  
  
"We get most of our food from trees and bushes," Jenny explained, pointing to an unassuming tree -- except for the fact that it had slices of bread growing on it instead of fruit. "This is a breadfruit tree. Are you hungry at all?"  
  
NO. AND EVEN IF I WERE, HOW CAN I EAT THE FOOD OF YOUR WORLD WHEN THE COMPUTER SCREEN SEPARATES US?  
  
She blushed. "Good point. Sorry." She helped herself to the bread.  
  
An ominous rumbling caught Vader's attention, and he spotted some sort of beast approaching.  
  
JENNY, BEHIND YOU...  
  
She turned and gasped. "An ant lion!"  
  
DANGEROUS?  
  
"Yes! We'd better run for it!"  
  
The ant lion's feline head grimaced in a snarl as it scuttled after them on six exoskeletoned legs. Jenny and Sammy ran across an open plain, Vader following via screen. Scuffling and roars indicated the monster was still after them.  
  
Abruptly the ground before them gaped open in a deep crater. It was all Jenny could do to stop herself in time to avoid falling in. Hideous masses of slick, gray-pink worms slithered out of the crater by the thousands.  
  
WHAT IN THE GALAXY?!  
  
"Wormhole!" Jenny replied, backing away. "I forgot these things are common near the Void. We'd better stay away. We don't know where it leads."  
  
Vader groaned. Of course. In real life, wormholes were rips or buckles in the fabric of space. Occasionally ships, asteroids, and other objects would fall into these rips or buckles and be transported hundreds of light years away. Here in the game, of course, a wormhole would be a groan-inducing visual pun, even if it operated along a similar principle.  
  
The ant lion bellowed in rage as another wormhole popped open between it and its prey. Its rage became terror, however, as it slipped on the slimy bodies of worms and slid into the crater. One less thing to worry about, Vader figured.  
  
But his Companion was staring at the creature in terror. "No!" she screamed, running for the edge of the wormhole.  
  
JENNY, DON'T TRY TO RESCUE IT! he ordered. IT WOULD HAVE KILLED US ANYWAY! Was he going to lose his Companion this early in the game? Perhaps the program was rigged against him.  
  
"Sammy!" she cried, and he saw she was heading, not for the ant lion, but for her cat, who was scrabbling madly away from the gaping hole. He kept losing his footing on the slick carpet of worms, though. Jenny bent to pick him up and whisk him to safety, but she tripped and screamed as she slid into the crater.  
  
Vader swore loudly. Without his Companion, he had practically no chance of navigating this insane game.  
  
She looked sadly at him through the screen. "I'm sorry, Lord Vader. I failed you. I tried to be a good Companion, but maybe if you play again, another Companion will help you better than I could."  
  
That expression... that imploring tone... somehow they stirred something deep within him he'd long thought dead. For one insane, inexplicable moment he entirely forgot that Jenny and the wormhole were fictional, that a computer screen separated their worlds. He instinctively stretched out a hand, as if trying to grab the elf girl and pull her back from the brink...  
  
She clung to his arm, wild hope flashing in her eyes. The squirming bodies of worms writhed beneath him, and he involuntarily flinched at the sight and feel of them. The two of them slipped inexorably toward the blackness of the wormhole's depths.  
  
"Sammy!" she cried.  
  
He extended his free arm and used the Force to draw the cat to him. Sammy yowled in fright and scrambled to his shoulder, clutching on for dear life. Grabbing Jenny's arms, he wrapped them around his neck to free up his own arms. Then he set to climbing out of the wormhole to safety. It was slippery going, and there was one heart-stopping moment when his foot landed in a patch of squashed worm and they nearly slipped straight into the center of the wormhole. Gritting his teeth, he found secure footing and continued to climb.  
  
At last, on solid ground again, he collapsed, covered in worm slime and drained from the intensity of the situation. Jenny was still pretty shaken and wouldn't let go of him, but Sammy recovered almost instantly and set to cleaning his mussed fur.  
  
"Lord Vader?" Jenny said at last.  
  
He sat up. "Release me, Jenny," he ordered.  
  
"You're in the game!" she exclaimed, obeying.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You're in Xanth! Before you were just a screen, but now... you're a person! You were able to suspend your disbelief and enter Xanth!" She smiled broadly. "I must say you're very impressive-looking in person."  
  
He stared at her. It couldn't be. It just couldn't be. But Jenny certainly looked like a flesh-and-blood girl to him. He slowly turned his head to view the surroundings. He was no longer sitting in a chair before his computer in his private quarters, but on a rocky plain. To one side was the indefinite, hazy darkness of the Void. On the other was thick jungle, alive with unfamiliar insects and birds. He was covered in dirt and muck, there were claw marks up his sleeve courtesy of Sammy, and the shoulder of his cloak was shredded, also thanks to the cat. Even worse, there were what felt like disturbances in the Force absolutely everywhere, most likely a result of Xanth's magic.  
  
Vader released his confusion and frustration in the most efficient manner possible. "Sithspawn!"  
  
The grass sprouting from between the stones around him yellowed and wilted in response.  
  
"Lord Vader!" Jenny exclaimed, dismayed. "You can't swear here!"  
  
"And why not?" he demanded.  
  
"Aside from the fact that it kills plants, it also violates the Adult Conspiracy."  
  
"The what?!"  
  
"The Adult Conspiracy To Keep Interesting Things From Children," she clarified. "It's a set of rules applying to anyone in Xanth under the age of sixteen. Under these rules, children aren't allowed to hear or speak curses, view anyone's panties, or learn how to summon the stork."  
  
"Summon the what?" It seemed "what" was becoming the word of the day.  
  
"The stork. It's the bird that brings babies to mothers. There's a ritual a mother and father need to enact before it will deliver a child to them, but I'm not sure what it is." She shrugged. "In reality I was inducted into the Conspiracy when I was fourteen, but I was put back under it for the game purposes."  
  
Vader nearly swore again but caught himself. Instead he buried his mask in his hands. "This is terrible."  
  
"No, it's wonderful!" she countered cheerfully. "Now we can truly play the game!"  
  
"I don't have time for games!" he bellowed. "I have a war to fight against the Rebel Alliance! I can't stay here! I want out of this... this... blasted psychotic land!"  
  
Startled by his outburst, Sammy ducked behind his mistress.  
  
"If you don't have time for games," Jenny asked, puzzled, "why did you start playing in the first place?"  
  
He couldn't explain the entire Galactic Civil War to her, nor could he tell her his now-ridiculous-sounding theory that the game had been an elaborate code securing information about the Alliance. She probably wouldn't understand. After all, Xanth was so outlandishly bizarre that its inhabitants would probably reject the ideas of space travel and the Force.  
  
"How did I get here anyway?" he asked instead.  
  
"You must have believed that Xanth was real," she replied. "At any rate, you must have believed I was real -- enough to try to save me. And once you believed, you could cross into Xanth from Mundania."  
  
"I'm a Dark Lord of the Sith," he replied firmly. "As such, I am not one given to nonsense and idiotic puns. I don't know why I tried to save you, but now I firmly regret the action."  
  
"I don't think you'll regret it once you've explored a little more of Xanth. It's truly a wonderful place. Most Mundanians who come here don't want to go back, and many do choose to stay."  
  
"Just tell me how to get out of here," he snarled.  
  
"Aside from winning the game, there's..." She stopped abruptly, as if someone had kicked her to silence her. "There's supposed to be a way to pause the game and come back, but I don't know what it is."  
  
"Grundy did tell me how to exit the game, but I need my keyboard to do it," he growled.  
  
Sammy hissed.  
  
"Something's coming," Jenny observed. She pointed at a sinuous form that was approaching them quite rapidly. "It looks like a diggle."  
  
"Is it dangerous?"  
  
"Normally not. They're a type of vole, which are burrowing animals that include wiggles, squiggles, diggles, and land voles. The diggles are the largest and stupidest. They eat stone and can phase through rock and earth without damaging themselves, the stone, or anyone riding them. In fact, this one may give us a ride. They'll give anyone who sings to them a ride..."  
  
"Someone's already riding this one," Vader noted, spotting a form on the creature's back. He narrowed his eyes in an attempt to get a better look at the beast's rider. The Force was strong with him. Strange. He'd only felt one other aura like this one. And the classic gray Rebel jumpsuit and sandy hair further betrayed the man's identity.  
  
A slow grin spread across his mouth beneath his mask. Perhaps this journey wouldn't be in vain after all.  
  
***  
  
HOW MUCH FARTHER? Luke typed.  
  
"We have a ways to go, Skyrunner," Metria replied. "Be patent."  
  
He decided not to correct her. Her problem with words was slightly annoying, but he could work around it. After all, he'd chosen her as a Companion and had no right to complain. And he really wanted to win this game.  
  
The landscape whirled by at a dizzying rate, trees and flowers and birds and animals merging into one green blur smudged here and there with color. Occasionally he would spot an individual plant or animal and inquire about it, and Metria would give a more or less straight answer. He had to admit the creators of this game were pretty imaginative. Pincushion plants, barrel cacti, secretary birds, and club moss each resembled their names quite cleverly, while creatures like griffons, tangle trees, and dryads simply fascinated him.  
  
"Up ahead is the Void," Metria told him. "Nothing that goes in ever comes out. We'll change around it."  
  
He knew she meant "turn around it" but didn't say anything about it. LIKE A BLACK HOLE?  
  
"Yup. There're also wormholes around the Void, sucking things from one end of Xanth to the other."  
  
AND I SUPPOSE GIANT WORMS LIVE IN THE WORMHOLES, DON'T THEY? He was starting to get the hang of all these puns.  
  
"Just small ones. Lots of them."  
  
He could make out a fuzzy area ahead, no doubt the Void she spoke of. Deftly she angled her body in order to bypass the area. Idly Luke wondered when the next game challenge would appear. This was starting to get kind of boring.  
  
Something screamed, making him jump in his chair. It took him a moment to realize it was coming from the game.  
  
WHAT WAS THAT?  
  
"Ant lion." She stopped in her tracks -- so to speak, for diggles left no tracks. "Close by. I'll have to fight it."  
  
WHERE IS IT?  
  
"How should I know?"  
  
They both knew in a few seconds. A wormhole burst open just to their right, spitting out a plethora of worms -- and a very slimy, very shaken, very irritated giant bug with a vicious feline head. It took one look at Metria's diggle form and roared, charging.  
  
Metria responded to the threat impressively, changing into a huge green-and-scarlet dragon spouting flame. The ant lion's fangs squealed against her scales like fingernails on a slate. The images on the screen jolted and thrashed about as if Luke were riding a rampant dewback. It was almost enough to make him sick.  
  
Suddenly Metria roared in pain, the ant lion's fangs latching onto her throat. Luke almost screamed himself. Wasn't she a demoness, unable to be injured in conventional manners? But the blood streaming down her neck and chest seemed real enough.  
  
Quite involuntarily Luke leaped forward, forgetting about the game, intent on helping Metria...  
  
...and landing smack on the ant lion's nose.  
  
The beast's eyes crossed as it tried to get a good look at him. Luke realized he'd just done something pretty stupid and jumped to the ground, running to the ant lion's side to avoid its jaws. It let go of the dragon and turned to take a bite out of him instead.  
  
"Move, Skytrotter!"  
  
Luke took Metria's advice and rolled away as the ant lion was swallowed up in a great gout of flame. There was a final screech of terror, and the flames died away, leaving a black smudge and a haze of smoke where the creature had been. Metria, however, looked fit to kill, though she had abandoned her dragon form for a conventional, if badly disheveled, human form.  
  
"What'd you do that for?" she demanded. "I had it handled!"  
  
"Sorry," Luke replied.  
  
"I had it all planned out," she snapped. "Play dead, let him chomp me, then steak him when he least expected it..."  
  
"Do what to him?"  
  
"Ribs, chops, loin, barbecue, crisp, scorch..."  
  
"Roast?"  
  
"Whatever. Then you had to go and... and..." Her cross expression became a stunned look. "You're in the game!"  
  
"Say what?"  
  
"You're in the game! You're not on the other side of a screen anymore! You must have suspended your disbelief!"  
  
He stared at her. Then he realized he was actually staring at Metria, not a computer image of her. Real smoke hung lazily in the air from the battle, a real jungle surrounded him on three sides while a real Void waited ahead, and the real stench of charred bug clogged his nose and throat. Somehow, impossibly, he was in Xanth!  
  
How could he believe in it? How had he done it? Had it been in trying to save Metria? Of course. For an instant he'd forgotten she was fictional and wanted to save her. And in that instant, he had penetrated the barrier separating them. He'd done that before while reading a particularly engaging book or watching a good holovid, but this sort of thing had never come of it, of course.  
  
"Whoa," he breathed. "This is incredible."  
  
"It sure is," Metria agreed. She inhaled, stretching the seams of her dress dangerously. "And now that you're here, we can have some true demonly fun. How about it, Skyscraper?"  
  
"Just call me Luke," he told her, keeping his eyes on her face.  
  
"Oh, who cares? You're of age, aren't you? You know about summoning the stork."  
  
"Summoning what?"  
  
"Oh, I forget, you do things differently in Mundania. Storks don't bring babies. But your ritual for getting a baby is the same. But don't worry. Demonesses don't have to worry about the signal actually reaching the stork if they don't want it to."  
  
He was getting the gist of what she was suggesting. "No, Metria... I'd rather not."  
  
"Fine, if you're going to be that way," she huffed. "Though you're the first male I've met who's turned the offer down. But if you change your mind..." She winked.  
  
He groaned. One of the down sides of Metria not having a soul was that she didn't consider the moral ramifications of her choices. Well, he'd just keep a tight watch on her.  
  
"Um, the Good Magician's castle?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah, I suppose you want to go there." She turned diggle again. "Whatever you say, Duke. You're the boss."  
  
He sat astride her back as she slithered through the ground. This game was turning out to be far different than he'd expected, but it still intrigued him greatly. And he was still quite willing to keep playing, as long as there was a way out eventually. Maybe he had to win the game to escape.  
  
"Oh look, more travelers," Metria noted. "There's Jenny Elf -- one of the other Companion choices. But you didn't want her anyway. She's not even old enough to know about the Adult Conspiracy. And I see she has a Player with her -- a very tall one who's dressed like he's going to a funeral."  
  
Luke's stomach turned a somersault when he saw the pair. Vader was in Xanth! 


	4. Chapter 4 Alliance

Part IV -- Alliance  
  
"Stand back!" Vader ordered Jenny as Luke sprang from the diggle's back, drawing his blaster. He activated his lightsaber and prepared to block the boy's fire.  
  
"You know him?" Jenny asked, backing away.  
  
"An old friend," he replied.  
  
Luke squeezed several rounds off, the crimson bolts streaking toward Jenny. Vader swept the bolts away with his saber. A look of surprise came across young Skywalker's face, then he fired again. Again Vader deflected the shots, which kept heading Jenny's way. What was he trying to accomplish by murdering his Companion? Did he hope to strand Vader in Xanth?  
  
"What's going on?" Luke demanded, shaking his weapon.  
  
"That's what I'd like to know," the diggle snapped, abruptly assuming the form of a disheveled, dark-haired wench.  
  
"Skywalker," Vader purred, lowering his blade slightly. "We meet again."  
  
"Unfortunately," Luke replied, a bitter note in his voice.  
  
"You mean you know this dung-head?" said the woman quite loudly.  
  
"Metria!" Luke shouted. "Don't insult him!"  
  
"Oh, the iron-face is a friend of yours?"  
  
"No! He'll kill you if you..."  
  
"Nothing can kill a demon, Skyhopper," she replied smugly.  
  
"Who is he, Lord Vader?" asked Jenny. "He's actually quite dashing."  
  
"He is my son, Luke Skywalker."  
  
Luke scowled at those words. So the boy had yet to accept the truth, still preferring Obi-wan's filthy lies over his honesty. All the better, for once he could convince Luke he'd been played for a fool, a seed of hatred could be planted in his soul to further his conversion.  
  
"That metal-man's your FATHER?!" Metria said incredulously, one eyebrow arcing so high it slid clear off her forehead. Demons seemed to be odd creatures indeed.  
  
"No," Luke said firmly. "He's not my father and never will be. My father was Anakin Skywalker, a Jedi Knight, betrayed and murdered by HIM!"  
  
"So you still refuse to accept the truth," Vader observed. "Deny it all you want, Luke, but denial will not alter the facts."  
  
Luke raised the blaster again.  
  
"I'm afraid it's useless to shoot," Vader went on. "If you haven't noticed, I am quite able to defend myself from blaster fire."  
  
"What's a blast-her?" asked Jenny.  
  
"Looks like a Mundanian weapon," Metria observed. "But it only shoots females. How chauvinist!"  
  
"No, it will shoot anything," Luke corrected.  
  
"Not here in Xanth," Vader told him.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Like the ass-ass-in droids and the wormholes, it's all in the name. In Xanth, a blaster becomes a blast-her."  
  
Luke groaned. "Wish I still had my lightsaber. That seems to work properly here."  
  
"Because it already resumes its name," Metria added.  
  
"It what?" demanded Vader.  
  
"Picks up, begins, copy, similar..."  
  
"Resembles."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"But if he's your father, why are you trying to blast him?" asked Jenny.  
  
"He's not my father!" Luke shouted again.  
  
"He has been brought up to consider me an enemy," Vader told the elf girl. "He was lied to all his life and thinks I killed his father."  
  
"Why would Obi-wan lie?" demanded Luke.  
  
"A good question," Vader noted. "Perhaps you should ask your new Jedi Master, whoever he or she is." And he motioned for Jenny and Sammy to follow him as they continued down the path.  
  
"That's so sad," Jenny said forlornly. Being the naive child she was, she was so far happily unaware of the darker details of the story. "Why would someone tell such awful lies about you?"  
  
Vader did not reply. He knew full well why Obi-wan had invented that tale -- to protect Luke from pursuing his father and falling to the dark side. He curled his lip in disdain. Fool. In lying to Luke, he had only betrayed the boy's trust. Now Luke had learned the truth, and anger and hatred were slowly beginning to claim his heart. If Vader could foster those feelings a little more...  
  
"Walk a little slower," Vader advised, putting out a hand to slow her down.  
  
"Why?" she asked.  
  
"Luke will wish to accompany us," he replied. "For all his surface bravado, he believes my words, at least in part. He will have questions and will want to seek the answers out."  
  
"Oh good!" Jenny said cheerfully. "Then you two can make up!"  
  
The girl was wrong in that respect, but at least he had an ally in his objective. If all went well, he would still gain something in this oddball quest -- Skywalker.  
  
***  
  
Luke stood silently, clutching his useless blast-her in one hand, staring at the receding form of the Dark Lord. What was he doing here? And why? He'd been playing the game to forget about Vader!  
  
"Forget about him," Metria advised. "He's your component."  
  
"My what?"  
  
"Part, gizmo, software, adversary, foe, competition..."  
  
"Opponent."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"He's not just my opponent in the game. He's the most evil man in the galaxy!" He kicked a rock, which blared out an obnoxious song as it rolled away.  
  
"Rock 'n' roll," Metria noted. "Like I said, forget him. Just go for the prize before he gets there first."  
  
Luke didn't reply or even move.  
  
"Hello? Skyskipper?"  
  
He continued to stare after Vader, who had almost disappeared from view. He lied. Vader lied. That could be the only explanation.  
  
And yet... he hadn't sensed deception in his declaration on Bespin. The Force usually told him when someone was being dishonest. True, using the Force to discern Vader's integrity hadn't exactly been foremost in his mind at the time of their duel, but he still should have felt something amiss.  
  
Yet he hadn't felt anything amiss when Obi-wan had told him Vader murdered his father. That made no sense. Either Vader lied or Ben had lied. Both couldn't be truthful. So who was the liar? And what reason would they have to lie? Vader's objective was obvious -- he hoped to lure Luke to the dark side. But why would Obi-wan lie? And if he'd lied about his father's identity, what else had he been untruthful about?  
  
Who was he? The son of a Jedi? Or Sithspawn?  
  
The only available source of answers was walking away at that moment.  
  
"Wait!" he shouted, running after the Dark Lord.  
  
Vader and Jenny turned at his call.  
  
"Wait up for -- yiiiiiikes!" he yelped, fitting a good six "i's" into the word, as his world turned upside down in an instant. Belatedly he realized he should have looked where he was going, for he'd just stepped into some kind of snare. Now he hung by one ankle upside-down two meters over the ground, swaying like a pendulum.  
  
"What's going on?" demanded Vader, approaching Luke.  
  
"He stepped in a snare from a snare drum," Jenny realized. "See?"  
  
Luke turned his head. Off to the side of the path, partially concealed by some low-growing pillow bushes, was a large cylindrical object, metallic with a skin-like covering stretched taut over the top. The snares in question circled its sides, awaiting those unlucky enough to step in them. Even as he studied the snare drum, the snare holding him rotated so he now hung over the drum.  
  
Metria popped into view, looking exasperated. "If I weren't your Companion, I'd just leave you to rot. But since Grossclout would turn my head to mush if I let anything happen to you, I suppose I have to help you down."  
  
"Allow me," Vader replied, igniting his lightsaber.  
  
"I don't think that's a good idea..." began Jenny, but Vader had already cut through the snare. Luke landed heavily on the drum, sending a mighty BOOM through the surrounding jungle.  
  
"Nice one, Later," snorted Metria.  
  
"Vader," Vader corrected.  
  
"Whatever," she said crossly. "Nice one. You sounded the drum's alarm. Whoever set the trap knows he's promiscuous."  
  
"He's what?!"  
  
"Easy, eager, free, escaped..."  
  
"Loose?" Luke offered.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Vader snarled. "I can't talk to this woman."  
  
A party of men burst into view -- short, ugly, purple-skinned men armed with clubs, spears, and knives. Luke looked around and gulped -- they were surrounded.  
  
"Goblins!" Jenny cried.  
  
"Humans!" the ugliest of the group sneered. "Big juicy-looking ones, good for the cooking pot!"  
  
"Except that one!" another cackled, pointing at Vader. "Too tough to eat! We'll bind him and throw him in the Region of Fire to watch him squirm!"  
  
"And that one!" still another giggled, leering at Metria. "We'll have some fun with her before we boil her!"  
  
"Normally I'd be glad to show you a good time," Metria told them. "But I'm busy leading a Mundanian through a game right now, so get lost."  
  
The goblins looked taken aback by this statement but recovered quickly. "Sez who?" demanded one.  
  
"Sez this," she replied, becoming a small but ferocious-looking dragon. She let out a good-sized roar and snorted smoke at them.  
  
Their attackers didn't need to be told twice. They scattered.  
  
Jenny grinned. "I think we all make a pretty good team."  
  
Luke and Vader exchanged reluctant glances.  
  
"Oh, sure, great team," Metria grumped, resuming human form. "The cat finds something, Jenny tells us what it is, Skychopper uses it to get himself in trouble, Hater botches it up even more, and I have to fix it." She huffed, making her bosom heave enchantingly.  
  
"Are Players allowed to travel together?" asked Vader, ignoring her.  
  
"There's no rule forbidding it," Jenny said brightly, "and the last time I was a Companion, two Players worked together and even fell in love."  
  
"Big incentive," Luke muttered.  
  
"If you didn't wish to accompany us, why did you follow?" inquired Vader.  
  
"I... I suppose I do want to go with you," Luke replied. "We have a better chance of surviving here if we're a team." And I have questions, he added silently.  
  
"Then it's agreed," Vader announced. "We will travel to the Castle of the Good Magician together."  
  
"Wonderful," Metria said sarcastically. "How am I supposed to have some privacy to show Skyracer my panties?"  
  
"Shut up, Metria," Luke hissed. 


	5. Chapter 5 Gap

Part V -- Gap  
  
It was miserable business slogging through Xanth's wild lands to get to the Good Magician's castle. Jenny was going hoarse from explaining the land of Xanth and the game aspects to Vader and Luke; indeed, horsish nickers and whinnies were beginning to slip into her speech. Metria spent more time in dragon, ogress, or tangle tree form than human form in order to frighten away various beasts. Vader had run afoul of a stinkhorn plant, and everyone was keeping their distance from him until they could reach a stream where he could wash. Luke had discovered and eaten some gooseberries before Jenny or Metria could identify them, and now he honked annoyingly every time he tried to speak. Sammy, exhausted from the trek, hung limply over his mistress' shoulders like a fur collar. Everyone was tired, hungry, dirty, and looking forward quite longingly to the end of their journey.  
  
"Explain to me why the game was created in the first place," Vader asked, carefully skirting around a snarling tiger lily.  
  
"The demons formed the game," Jenny replied. "It was originally made to settle a bet between two of the mighty World Demons -- Demon X(A/N)TH and Demon E(A/R)TH. Now that the gamble is settled, the game is only called up when a Mundanian Player wants to play. It's a sort of gateway between Xanth and Mundania, so Mundanians can experience our world."  
  
"I see. Now you keep referring to our world as Mundania. Why?"  
  
"Because your land's so mundane and dull," Metria said with her characteristic tactlessness. "You don't even have magic!"  
  
"Simply because we have no magic does not mean you are superior," Vader said sternly, shaking a cautionary finger at Metria.  
  
She didn't reply, only made her nose disappear as his motioning waved stinkhorn reek her way.  
  
Luke tried to say something. "Honk!"  
  
"What was that?" asked Jenny.  
  
"Honk honk!" he insisted, growing frustrated.  
  
"Is there a cure for this?" asked Vader.  
  
Jenny shrugged. "Unless we find a healing spring along our way, there's really not much we can do except wait for it to wear off."  
  
"Campsite askull," Metria announced.  
  
"Don't you mean ahead?" asked Jenny.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
There was indeed a clearing marked "Game Campsite" ahead. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief -- except Vader, who sighed every time he took a breath anyway.  
  
"There's a spring nearby where you can wash," Jenny told her Companion. "And there's a pole vault full of poles and a tarp-pit full of tarps so we can make tents. The demons really planned this out!"  
  
"Better make sure the spring's not enchanted," Metria suggested.  
  
"Sammy, find the nearest unenchanted spring," Jenny told the cat.  
  
He walked two steps and sat down at the edge of the camp's spring. It was safe.  
  
"If it were a healing spring, we could have repaired Luke's folly," Vader noted.  
  
"But it could have been a hate spring or a love spring," Jenny pointed out. "If we had drunk from a hate spring, we would all hate each other and go our separate ways, which could be dangerous. But a love spring's even worse. Most of Xanth's crossbreeds result from people and animals misusing love springs. Would you like to fall in love with a dragoness?"  
  
"Point taken," Vader replied.  
  
Luke and Metria set up the tents while Jenny harvested breadfruit, jellybeans, butterflies, and milkweed pods for supper and Vader found a soapstone to scrub away the stinkhorn smell. Luke indicated through gestures that it might be a good idea to start a fire in case it got cold during the night, and once everyone was through with their tasks they set off in pairs to find kindling.  
  
"Good," Metria whispered once Vader and Jenny had disappeared in the other direction. "Now that we're alone, I can show you some true demonly fun." She reached purposefully for Luke.  
  
"Honk!" he protested, holding up his hands.  
  
"Oh do relax!" she ordered. "I know what I'm doing!"  
  
"Honk!"  
  
"Look, you're obviously old enough. So am I. It's perfectly all right."  
  
"Honk honk honk honk!"  
  
"Why are you so worked up over this? Most men would do anything for a chance to see a demoness' panties!"  
  
"Honk honk honk!" He gestured wildly toward the bushes.  
  
"Those two won't see or hear us, so stop worrying..."  
  
"Honk honk!" he insisted, shaking his head.  
  
"Honestly, what's your problem?"  
  
"Hello there!" someone called.   
  
"Honk!" Luke replied, pointing at the two old women emerging from the brush. They carried baskets full of pine needles and pincushion plants, items necessary for sewing and mending.  
  
"Travelers," the first woman noted, nodding. "What might a dashing young man and a lovely woman be doing out here so late?"  
  
"Need we ask?" the second said with a wink before Metria could reply. "We may be old, but we're not that far from our panty-flashing days."  
  
Luke's ears became a brilliant crimson.  
  
"I'm Demoness Metria, and this is Luke Skyscraper Mundane," Metria introduced. "I'm his Companion in a prey."  
  
"A what?" the first woman asked.  
  
"Quarry, target, hunted, entertainment, sport..."  
  
"Game?" suggested the other.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"It must be some game," said the first woman. "I'm Auntie Freeze, and my talent is thawing things that have grown cold."  
  
"I'm Auntie Dote, and my talent is healing people who have eaten things they shouldn't have," introduced the other. "We're collecting supplies for our nephew Taylor, whose talent is conjuring cloth so he can make fine clothes."  
  
"Why make clothes when you can gather them from trees?" asked Metria.  
  
"Oh, its a hobby of his," Freeze explained. "And he makes much nicer things than you'll find on any tree."  
  
"Honk!"  
  
"What is it, son?" asked Dote, peering at him. "Have a problem?"  
  
"He ate some gooseberries, didn't he?" Freeze asked.  
  
"Honk!" Luke replied, nodding.  
  
"I can fix that," Dote replied. "Hold still, lad." She put a hand against his chest. "There, that's better."  
  
"I didn't feel anything," Luke protested. "Hey, I can talk!"  
  
"Next time you'll be careful about what you eat, won't you?" Freeze asked.  
  
"I sure will," he replied. "But what's this about talents?"  
  
"Every human in Xanth -- and on occasion, certain crossbreeds -- has a talent," Metria explained. "It can be something as small as the talent of conjuring a colored spot on a wall, or as powerful as changing one living thing into another."  
  
Luke considered. "Something like the Force."  
  
"The Force?" all three women repeated, with Metria adding "What the bleep's the Farce?"  
  
"The Force is a form of magic that we practice in Mundania," Luke explained. "It controls and can be controlled. I'm a Jedi; I use the light side of the Force. Our traveling companion Vader is a Sith; he uses the dark side of the Force."  
  
"What does it do?" asked Freeze.  
  
"Here, I'll show you." He reached out and tried to call a nearby stick into his hand. But instead of coming to him, it leaped away.  
  
"Hmph, not bad," said Dote.  
  
Luke frowned. "I was trying to grab it." He tried again, but it only made another leap in the opposite direction.  
  
"Don't think much of your Force," Freeze said.  
  
"Try pushing it away," suggested Metria.  
  
Luke wondered how that was supposed to help but obeyed. The effect was impressive -- the stick launched itself at him with such velocity it hit him full in the face.  
  
"Oops!" shrieked Dote. "You all right, lad?"  
  
"No permanent damage," Luke replied, though he was probably going to sport a black eye in a few minutes. "But I don't understand what happened there."  
  
"You tried to pick up a stick of reverse wood," Metria explained. "It reversed your Force and did the opposite that you told it to."  
  
"Oh, that stuff is rare!" cried Freeze. "You'd best hang onto that, dearie. It could be useful."  
  
Luke was skeptical of this, but in the end he decided to keep the stick. It might be the key to unraveling a game challenge.  
  
"We'd better run," Dote said. "Taylor'll be expecting us." The two women waved goodbye and left.  
  
When Luke and Metria got back to camp, arms full of firewood, Vader and Jenny already had a blaze going. Luke noticed a long scratch crossing Vader's mask from his left eyepiece to the right corner of his "jaw," as if he'd been struck by something. A branch similar to Luke's reverse wood lay beside the tents, a safe distance away.  
  
"Reverse wood?" Luke asked.  
  
Vader nodded. "I see you encountered it too."  
  
Jenny took Luke's wood and bound it to Vader's with one of her spare shoelaces, then tucked them into her pack. "There. Two pieces of reverse wood cancel each other's effect when put together. We can handle them without ill effects this way." Then she looked up at Luke. "Hey, you're not honking anymore!"  
  
Luke explained his encounter with the two aunts. "I guess we were just lucky to be in their path."  
  
"Few things in Xanth are 'just lucky,'" Metria corrected. "The game must have put us in their path as a challenge. Since we were friendly to them, they were friendly back and helped us."  
  
"What I'd like to know is why you two seem to have magic," Jenny said. "Mundanians aren't supposed to have talents, yet you two can pick things up without touching them. And Vader told me you can do a lot more than that."  
  
"It is indeed a puzzle," Vader noted.  
  
But it was getting too late for puzzles. The Players and Jenny finished their supper and retired to separate tents for the night. Metria, being a demon and not needing food or sleep, kept watch over the camp and tended the fire.  
  
***  
  
"What were those?" inquired Vader.  
  
"Oh, just some asterisks," Jenny replied. "They signify the passing of time so we aren't bored by the tedious portions of the game."  
  
They broke camp and moved on. Their path took them straight through a thicket of curse burrs, and soon everyone's clothes were infested with the tiny hooked burrs.  
  
"How do you get these off?" asked Luke, yanking at one unsuccessfully.  
  
"Why do you think they're called curse burrs?" asked Metria. "It takes a curse to get them off."  
  
Jenny covered her ears.  
  
"Okay," Luke said unsurely. "Uh, stang."  
  
A burr leaped off his sleeve.  
  
"Sithspawn!" Vader tried. Two more fell off his cloak.  
  
"Let's speed this up a little," Metria suggested. "$$$$!"  
  
Her shout blackened all plants within a three-meter radius, left scorch marks on the ground, and reddened Luke's ears until they glowed. But the curse burrs flew in all directions.  
  
"What's this?" asked Luke. For they'd come to an enormous canyon whose depths were shrouded with mist.  
  
"The Gap Chasm," Jenny replied. "It separates northern Xanth from southern Xanth. At the bottom lives the Gap Dragon, Stanley Steamer."  
  
"Vicious?" asked Vader.  
  
"Definitely. He'll chomp you in three-quarters of an instant."  
  
"The path leads right to the edge," Luke observes. He peered warily over the brink. "But it doesn't lead down."  
  
Metria vanished with a pop. For a moment she reappeared as a tiny dot on the other side of the Gap. Then she reappeared on their side.  
  
"The path resembles on the other side of the Gap," she reported.  
  
"It what?" asked Jenny.  
  
"Looks like, copies, imitates, continues, repeats..."  
  
"Resumes," corrected Luke.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"So there must be a way to cross the chasm here," Jenny guessed.  
  
"Another game challenge," Vader mused. He stepped to the edge of the cliff, mulled over the situation a moment, then extended a foot.  
  
"Watch out!" Jenny called out in warning.  
  
"It's all right," he assured her, putting the foot down. As he expected, something invisible to his eyes but most definitely solid took his weight. "There's an invisible bridge."  
  
"I'm not sure I can trust something I can't see with my life," Luke said warily.  
  
And the boy calls himself a Jedi, Vader thought amusedly.  
  
"I'd better go first," Metria said. "I don't much care if Vader and Jenny fall off, because they're our competition, but if Luke falls and washes out I'm in for it with Grossclout."  
  
"This Grossclout must be some demon," Luke observed.  
  
"One of the most powerful and feared, aside from the World Demons," Jenny agreed. "But he doesn't go out of his way to hurt people, just intimidates them as he meets them."  
  
Metria changed her form to that of a dust bunny and hopped onto the bridge. Clouds of dust rose from her sand-colored fur as she went, coating the planks and ropes of the bridge so it was visible in an eerie, ghost-like way.  
  
Suddenly the bunny disappeared. She had leaped right through a massive hole in the bridge. Moments later she reappeared, in human form, on their side of the chasm, looking flustered.  
  
"Who went and messed with the bridge like that?" she demanded.  
  
Jenny blushed, Vader averted his gaze, and Luke's eyes went wide.  
  
"What?" Metria snapped.  
  
"You're not wearing anything," Jenny pointed out.  
  
"So? What's the problem?"  
  
"Put -- your -- clothes -- on," Vader ordered menacingly.  
  
"It's not like your son's underage or anything," Metria huffed, though her dress reappeared.  
  
"Don't call me his son," hissed Luke.  
  
"Let's just focus on crossing the Gap," Jenny said quickly, sensing an altercation about to begin.  
  
"How?" asked Luke. "The bridge is out."  
  
"And I don't think it's wise to take the ground route," Vader added.  
  
"I can turn into a roc and fly you over," volunteered Metria.  
  
"If this is a game challenge, I think the Players need to solve it," Luke replied. "But thanks for the offer."  
  
"Jenny," Vader requested, "ask Sammy to find the closest being who can repair the bridge, or at the very least help us across."  
  
She didn't have to ask. The cat had heard his request and was already off. Everyone followed, but they didn't have to go far. About twenty meters from the bridge, Sammy stopped at an odd-looking house and sat down.  
  
"It looks like its made from cheese," Luke noted.  
  
"A cottage cheese," Jenny replied. She knocked cautiously.  
  
A woman with metallic skin answered. "Yes?"  
  
"I'm Jenny Elf," Jenny introduced. "These are my friends Sammy Cat, Lord Vader Mundane, Luke Mundane, and Demoness Metria. We're trying to cross the Gap, but the invisible bridge is damaged."  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry," she replied. "Do come in. I'm Bria Brassie."  
  
They entered the house. A young man adding wood to the fire waved hello.  
  
"Esk dear, we have guests," Bria told him. To the others she said "This is my husband, Esk Ogre."  
  
"You don't look like an ogre," Metria replied tactlessly.  
  
"Metria!" Luke snapped.  
  
Esk just laughed. "Actually, I'm a crossbreed. My mother was Tandy Nymph, and my father was Smash Ogre. But I can become ogrish if you like." He grinned mischievously.  
  
"That's not necessary," Luke replied quickly. "We were wondering if you could help us. The bridge across the Gap is out of order."  
  
"I'm not very good at fixing things," Esk confessed.  
  
"Brassies are first-rate working with metal and machines, but wood's beyond our talents, especially magic wood," said Bria.  
  
"Oh," Luke replied, disappointed.  
  
Vader frowned. Had Sammy made an error?  
  
"You may sit down," Bria invited. "We're expecting company, but you're quite welcome to share supper with us, as our guest won't be eating."  
  
"You're sure he won't be hungry?" asked Jenny.  
  
"Quite sure," Esk replied as someone knocked on the door. "That must be him. I'll get it." He opened the door to admit a skeleton.  
  
"Oh, I see!" Jenny exclaimed. "Skeletons don't have to eat. You must be Marrow Bones!"  
  
"That I am," the skeleton replied, nodding politely.  
  
"Yes," Vader mused. "You were one of the Companion choices."  
  
"I owed Grossclout a favor," Marrow replied. "But since I was not chosen as a Companion, I'm participating in your game as a side character."  
  
Introductions were made as Bria served wry bread with butterflies and honeycombs, key lime pie (they had to remove the keys first), Golden Delicious apples (metallic-looking but otherwise normal-looking fruit), and milkweed pods. Metria and Marrow, not needing to eat, talked nearby while everyone else dined.  
  
"If it's not rude of me to ask, why do you wear a mask?" asked Bria.  
  
"I suffered an accident that damaged my lungs some time ago," Vader replied. "Where I come from, we must rely on technology instead of magic, so I required this mask to allow me to breathe."  
  
"At least it lets you eat," Esk pointed out.  
  
"I always wondered how you ate," Luke noted, taking a bite out of a slice of pie. "I didn't realize you could open your mask."  
  
"For a limited time," Vader said. "And don't talk with your mouth full, Skywalker."  
  
Jenny, between bites, explained the nature of the game. Bria and Esk listened attentively and nodded.  
  
"My father mentioned it to me," Esk said. "He'd volunteered to help with the game and was one of the available Companions, but no one chose him."  
  
"My friends, we're in duck!" Metria announced.  
  
"What?" asked Bria.  
  
"Water fowl, goose, drake, fortune, chance, coincidence..."  
  
"Luck," Bria corrected.  
  
"Whatever. Marrow has volunteered to help us across the Gap! All he asks for in exchange is half a soul."  
  
Everyone paused. Vader swallowed a mouthful of fruit so he could answer. "And why would he want half a soul?"  
  
"Skeletons are of the gourd realm, which is the realm of dreams," Marrow replied. "By nature we lack souls, like the demons. Our only purpose is to work with the ghosts, brassies, night mares, and other denizens of the gourd to create and deliver bad dreams. But when Esk here looked into a gourd and entered the dream realm, he rescued Bria and me from the Lost Path and endless wandering by bringing us to Xanth proper.  
  
"But we are gourd beings, unable to exist long outside our realm. Bria was able to become one of this realm's beings by falling in love with Esk and obtaining half a soul from him. I, meanwhile, have come to know the skeleton Grace'l Ossein, who was expelled from the gourd realm, and we have two children. But we have not been able to find anyone willing to share their souls with us."  
  
"Pah, who wants a soul?" Metria humphed.  
  
"Is it painful to share one's soul?" asked Luke.  
  
"Of course not," Esk answered. "And a half soul eventually grows into a full soul."  
  
"I'm not sure if Vader or Luke are authorized to give their souls," Jenny said. "They're Mundanian, after all."  
  
"And I don't think it's safe for Jenny to share hers," Bria added. "She's still technically a child, and children's souls are still growing."  
  
"That's unfortunate," Marrow replied. "Then I must present a challenge to these Players before I can help them. Grossclout's orders."  
  
"What sort of challenge?" asked Vader.  
  
Marrow turned to Esk. "Kick me."  
  
"Certainly."  
  
Vader watched, astonished, as Esk kicked Marrow hard in the tailbone. The skeleton flew apart, only to reassemble as a latticework of bones across the doorway. His skull spoke from the center of the bone web.  
  
"If you can leave this house, I will help you across the Gap. If you cannot escape by sundown, you must forfeit the game."  
  
"Wait a minute!" protested Jenny. "The game isn't supposed to interfere with non-Players. How are Bria and Esk supposed to get out?"  
  
"Don't worry," Esk told her. "We have no reason to leave the house before sundown."  
  
Metria vanished, only to pop back on the other side of Marrow. "One down, four to go."  
  
"Sammy, find a way past Marrow," Jenny told her cat.  
  
Immediately Sammy rushed to Marrow, found a gap between a femur and a rib, and squeezed through.  
  
"You forgot to specify a way for the rest of us to get past Marrow," Vader groaned.  
  
"Maybe there's a loose spot somewhere," Luke suggested.  
  
Vader grabbed a shin bone and wrenched at it with all his strength. It slipped out of place slightly, but not nearly enough. He stepped back a moment, trying to find a clue in the pattern of bones. Nothing.  
  
"Can you use your lightsaber?" asked Jenny.  
  
"It would most likely damage Marrow beyond repair," Vader replied.  
  
A wet hiss interrupted him. Luke had picked up a bucket of water and was using it douse the flames in the fireplace.  
  
"What are you doing?" asked Vader, puzzled.  
  
"Marrow said we had to get out," Luke replied, waiting for the damp embers to cool down. "He didn't say we had to get past him, just out. And there's more than one way out." With that, he ducked into the fireplace and began climbing up the chimney.  
  
Vader smiled. Impressive. Young Skywalker could actually use his head. Perhaps he would be a more worthy ally to the Sith than he'd first assumed.  
  
"Have a good trip!" Bria exclaimed in farewell. "Good luck!"  
  
It was filthy, hot, cramped work, but eventually the three of them managed to scrabble up the chimney and down from the roof. Metria had finished reassembling Marrow, and they proceeded toward the invisible bridge.  
  
"Good work on your challenge," Marrow said approvingly. "Where is the gap?"  
  
"Right in front of you, bone-head!" Metria replied.  
  
"Metria!" shouted Luke and Vader at the same time.  
  
"I meant the gap in the bridge," replied Marrow, unruffled. Metria's insult had no effect on him, since it was common knowledge that all skeletons had bony heads. It was like calling a Gungan "big-ears."  
  
Metria became a dust bunny again, hopping across the bridge and halting at the edge of the hole. Then she popped a ways farther and located the other side of the hole. The gap was about five meters wide, and once the dust settled it was obvious that someone had come along and pried up a section of the invisible boards.  
  
Marrow walked to the very edge of the gap. "Kick me."  
  
Vader came up behind him and gave him a good solid kick in the seat. The skeleton flew apart, then reassembled as a bone bridge, covering the space left by the missing planks.  
  
Metria went on ahead, her dust trail revealing the bridge. The group pressed on, avoiding looking into the Gap Chasm's dizzying depths. Frequently a faint bellow would reach them as the Gap Dragon made his presence known.  
  
At last they reached the other side of the canyon. Luke and Vader helped Metria reassemble Marrow into his proper skeleton form before thanking him, and Marrow and the group went their separate ways.  
  
"Shouldn't we tell someone the bridge is out?" asked Luke.  
  
"The Gap Goblins are in charge of the bridge," Jenny replied. "They'll repair it. But we'd better get going to the Good Magician." 


	6. Chapter 6 Com Pewter

Part VI -- Com Pewter  
  
Luke was feeling pretty good about life and the game by the time their party stopped for the night. They were only another day's journey from the Good Magician's castle, and he'd managed to make it this far without any major upsets. He was learning more and more about Xanth and coming to like this land, quirks and all. And he'd been able to solve a challenge. All in all, it hadn't been a bad day at all.  
  
Too bad Vader saw fit to spoil it.  
  
Jenny was coming back from gathering blankets from a blanket bush, Metria was in dragon form standing guard over the camp, Luke was pitching the last tent, and Vader was adding another log to the fire when the Dark Lord abruptly popped the question.  
  
"So Luke, have you given any more thought to my proposal?"  
  
Luke dropped the rock he'd been using to pound in a tent stake. Jenny and Metria froze and stared at Vader, confused.  
  
"No more than it deserves," Luke replied icily.  
  
"Sons belong with their fathers, Luke," Vader retorted.  
  
Jenny put down the blankets. "I have to use the bushes," she said quickly and departed.  
  
"And I have to... uh... check for goblins," Metria added, popping out.  
  
Luke went back to pounding in the stake, pointedly ignoring Vader.  
  
"Obi-wan was untruthful with you," Vader went on. "He was quite devious when I knew him too."  
  
Luke uttered a curse that scorched the trunk of a nearby tree when he accidentally whacked his thumb. In his irritation he'd been careless.  
  
"Don't say that about Obi-wan," he hissed.  
  
"Unlike Obi-wan, I choose to be truthful," Vader replied. "Though it may be painful, the truth is the less damaging path."  
  
"The truth is that Obi-wan was -- still is -- twice the Force-user you'll ever be," Luke spat. "The truth is that he gave his life to save me. And the truth is that you murdered him in cold blood and I refuse to forgive you for that!"  
  
"I don't wish your forgiveness, Luke. Obi-wan got less than he deserved. Do you not think I would have loved a son, a child to call my own? Do you honestly think it was my idea to entrust the Lars with your care? Obi-wan betrayed me, hiding the fact that I was a father from me, spiriting you and your mother away from me for his own designs. By the time I located your mother again, she was dead. And as for you..." He clenched a fist, the knuckles cracking loudly. "Not until you destroyed the Death Star did I learn I had a son."  
  
Luke snorted. "Maybe it was for the best." He tossed the rock into a bush, which responded by tossing tiny missile-shaped seed pods at him, though he was too far away for them to reach him. A George Bush, Jenny had called it.  
  
"And why do you say that?"  
  
"Obi-wan knew what was best for me, at least. Being raised by you, I probably would have been throttled in my teens or earlier. My uncle might have been a grouch, but he had my welfare in mind."  
  
"And you assume I wouldn't have."  
  
"I don't have a reason to assume otherwise, do I?"  
  
"We'll never know. Perhaps I would have been a decent father. If I had been able to raise you, I would have known. But I was deprived of that right. It was no choice of mine that left you without a father."  
  
"Don't go acting like a victim when you're the one who normally does the victimizing."  
  
"Everyone is a victim at one point or another." Vader tossed a stick into the fire and watched it ignite. "And we are both victims of Obi-wan. He wanted you for his own purposes, Luke."  
  
"If you don't shut up right now..."  
  
"Your aunt and uncle," Vader interrupted. "Obi-wan was a Jedi, albeit an aged one. If he had wanted to, he could have saved your guardians from their untimely deaths. But he chose, instead, for them to be destroyed."  
  
Luke didn't want to hear this, didn't want to believe it. But the thought kept nagging at him -- why hadn't Obi-wan done anything? He'd seemed to know of the attack on the homestead ahead of time. Why hadn't he gone to Anchorhead and protected them?  
  
"Why do you think?" Vader asked. "Obi-wan wanted to train you to be a Jedi. He wanted you as an apprentice, that he might destroy the Emperor and resurrect the Order through you. But there was an obstacle in his way. One that would not be swayed. One that had to be eliminated. Can you identify it?"  
  
No! he protested. That's not true! But he had a sudden vision of Uncle Owen's defiant expression at the dinner table the evening before his death, his hasty orders.  
  
That man's just a crazy old wizard! I don't want you going anywhere near him!  
  
Was Obi-wan capable of murder? Not direct murder, for he'd had the opportunity to kill the alien who'd attacked Luke in the cantina and hadn't dealt the death blow. Nor had he killed Vader, though Luke was almost sure he could have. But indirect murder, murder by inaction... Had Ben been that desperate to train Luke? Was Luke merely a pawn, a stooge to kill the Emperor and rebuilt the Order?  
  
He forced his head up, forced himself to look at Vader. Reflected firelight flickered on his mask and helmet, giving him an almost demonic look. No, that wasn't quite right. Luke had met a demon, and his stereotype of demons being creatures of the underworld had been shattered by Metria. Perhaps an underworld god would be a more appropriate description of the fiery visage gazing across the fire at him.  
  
"It would seem I'm not the only victim of Obi-wan's treason," Vader mused.  
  
Luke stood. "I'm going to bed," he said abruptly, ducking into his tent.  
  
"Of course," Vader replied. "You have a lot to think about."  
  
He yanked the tent doors closed, then wrapped himself in a blanket and wept.  
  
***  
  
By morning Luke's thoughts were no less muddled or chaotic. He felt irritable, wanting alternately to strangle Vader and punch Obi-wan. It didn't help that Metria was in an especially amorous mood as they set off.  
  
"There's a passion flower meadow nearby," she whispered. "If we lag behind, I can show you a good time."  
  
"No, Metria," he snapped.  
  
"What's your problem anyway? C'mon, don't you want to see my..."  
  
"I'm not interested in your underwear, Metria."  
  
"Oh-ho, you're touchy this morning. Did you and your father quarrel last night?"  
  
"Just drop it."  
  
She became two giant letters -- I and T -- and fell to the ground. Then she resumed her human form.  
  
"Okay, I dropped it. Now what?"  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Just leave me alone awhile, okay? I have a lot on my mind right now."  
  
Something thudded nearby. Everyone froze.  
  
"Tell me that's something harmless," moaned Luke.  
  
"Uh-oh," Jenny worried. "I think that's the invisible giant."  
  
"If you can't see it, how do you know it's a giant?" asked Vader.  
  
"Only something giant can make that kind of noise," Luke replied as the forest shook with another thud.  
  
"The invisible giant serves the evil machine Com Pewter," Jenny explained. "He chases people into Pewter's cave so he can play with them as he pleases."  
  
Another crash, and a foul odor choked Luke's lungs, forcing him to clamp his hands over his nose and mouth. It was as if someone had bottled and concentrated the smells of tauntaun, stinkhorn, and engine lubricant, blended them, let them ferment a decade or so, and released them into the air. Jenny began coughing, Metria made her nose vanish, and Sammy sneezed violently. Even Vader was gagging.  
  
"He's hair all right," Metria groaned.  
  
"Here," Luke corrected through his nose.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
A section of forest was squashed flat, leaving a foot-shaped clearing not far away.  
  
"I'm afraid we have no choice but to pay Com Pewter a visit," Vader said gravely, holding a corner of his cloak over his air intake vent to filter out the stench.  
  
They hurried into the cave, a deafening crash and a suffocating cloud of essence of giant hurrying them along. Staggering into a large underground chamber, they were all able to breathe a little easier now that they were out of the giant's presence. Before them, a large blue screen glowed with a deceptive serenity, softly illuminating the cave. Around it was a collection of plates, cups, jewelry, statues, and other items made from some sort of dark silver metal.  
  
"That's Com Pewter?" asked Luke, not quite sure what to make of what he saw.  
  
Letters appeared on the screen. HELLO, MUNDANE PLAYERS.  
  
Vader stepped forward. "Good day to you, Com Pewter. I am Lord Vader Mundane, and my Companions are Jenny Elf and Sammy Cat."  
  
"Luke Skywalker, and my Companion Demoness Metria," Luke added.  
  
"Not nice to see you again, flat-face," Metria said.  
  
"Metria, do us all a favor and shut up," Vader ordered.  
  
"Why?" she demanded.  
  
SMART-MOUTHED DEMONESS ZIPS HER LIPS.  
  
A zipper appeared and closed over Metria's mouth.  
  
"How did he do that?" asked Luke.  
  
"It's his talent," Jenny replied. "He can alter the reality in this cave."  
  
"Fascinating," Vader marveled. "But I'm afraid we cannot remain. We must get to the Good -- "  
  
BLACK-ARMORED MUNDANE CHANGES HIS MIND.  
  
Vader hesitated. "On the other hand, the journey can wait."  
  
"Hey, you can't do that!" shouted Jenny.  
  
AND WHY NOT, ELVEN IMMIGRANT?  
  
"Grossclout says that if someone not authorized to do so interferes with the game -- "  
  
FELINE'S MISTRESS GETS MOUTHFUL OF GIANT STINK.  
  
Jenny doubled over and gagged, unable to complete the sentence.  
  
Luckily, Metria finished the thought. "If you interfere, Grossclout will turn your circuits to mush, you outdated piece of junk."  
  
The screen flickered amusedly, but evidently Com Pewter knew when to back off. I'LL LET YOU OUT IF YOU DEFEAT ME IN A CONTEST OF RIDDLES.  
  
Luke grimaced. He hated riddles. They always stumped him, even the childish ones like "What starts with E and ends with E and has one letter in it?" It had taken a week for him to worm the answer out of Biggs, and Deak and Windy had teased him about it for days.  
  
SOUR-FACED MUNDANE YOUTH AGREES.  
  
On the other hand, he had help this time. Maybe the others knew the solutions to more riddles. "I agree. It sounds fair."  
  
RULES FIRST. COMPANIONS MAY NOT HELP. THIS IS A PLAYER CHALLENGE. IF THE RIDDLE CONCERNS AN ASPECT OF XANTH THE PLAYERS ARE NOT FAMILIAR WITH, I WILL CLARIFY IT FOR THEM.  
  
"So you can rig the contest in your favor, I presume," Vader replied.  
  
AND I SUPPOSE YOU CAN INVENT BETTER RULES, METAL-MOUTHED MUNDANIAN?  
  
"Certainly, malfunctioning mechanical monstrosity," Vader shot back. "The Players go first. If you answer our riddle correctly and we answer yours incorrectly, we lose and are subject to your whim. If you answer our riddle incorrectly and we answer yours correctly, you lose and must release us. If we both answer each other's riddles, or we fail to answer them, the round is a draw and we begin another round."  
  
CONSIDERING... PROCESSING DATA... AGREED. BEGIN WHEN READY.  
  
"You do it," Luke told Vader. "I defeated the last challenge."  
  
"We will alternate rounds," Vader replied to Luke's chagrin. He turned to Com Pewter and began reciting:  
  
"As I was going to Deneb V  
  
I met a man with seven wives.  
  
Every wife had seven sacks.  
  
Every sack had seven cats.  
  
Every cat had seven kits.  
  
Kits, cats, sacks, and wives --  
  
How many are going to Deneb V?"  
  
Luke smiled. That was an old riddle from their galaxy. Certainly Com Pewter couldn't know...  
  
ONE. YOU NEVER SAID THE MAN AND HIS WIVES WERE GOING TO DENEB V, ONLY YOU. MY TURN.  
  
Sithspawn! He'd figured it out! He hoped Vader could figure out Pewter's riddle.  
  
HOW DID THE DEMONS PULL THE KISS-ME RIVER STRAIGHT?  
  
"Explain," Vader ordered.  
  
THE KISS-ME RIVER IN SOUTHERN XANTH WAS A NICELY CURVING RIVER UNTIL THE DEMONS DECIDED TO STRAIGHTEN IT. THEY TURNED IT INTO A HARSH, ANGULAR RIVER THAT BECAME THE KILL-ME RIVER. HOW DID THEY DO THIS?  
  
Vader was silent awhile. Luke knew that in Mundania, when a river's course was altered, canals were dug alongside it and the water drained into them. He doubted such a process was used here, however.  
  
"As with much of Xanth, the answer lies in the name," Vader said finally. "They altered the river's name by pulling the two S's in "Kiss" straight, turning them to L's. Kiss-me became Kill-me."  
  
WELL DONE, MUNDANIAN PLAYER. COMMENCE NEXT ROUND.  
  
"Skywalker?" Vader inquired.  
  
"Uh... what starts with E and ends with E and has one letter in it?" Luke asked.  
  
He swore he could see Vader roll his eyes in an unspoken "Ugh!"  
  
AN ENVELOPE. MY TURN. WHAT WALKS ON FOUR LEGS IN THE MORNING, TWO LEGS AT NOON, AND THREE LEGS IN THE EVENING?  
  
Ha! Stroke of luck! He'd heard this one recently. "A human. In the morning of a human's life, his babyhood, he crawls on his hands and knees. During the noon of his life, adulthood, he walks upright. And in the evening of his life, old age, he uses a cane -- an artificial third limb."  
  
A splat of static crossed the screen. The machine was obviously frustrated, having hoped for a quick win. COMMENCE NEXT ROUND.  
  
"In the thirty-fifth annual Kessel Run competition, two players, a Duros and a Twi'leck, were each predicted to win the challenge," Vader stated. "They were evenly matched in skill, and both piloted swift, maneuverable starships. The goal of the competition was to deliver a crate from the starting point to a larger starship -- ship A. Then they were to pick up cargo from ship A and deliver it to ship B, from which they'd pick up another item and transfer it to ship C, and so forth.  
  
"When the Kessel Run was complete, a winner was declared. The Duros' ship had traveled fifteen parsecs, the Twi'leck's thirteen. Which was the winner?"  
  
THE DUROS, Com Pewter declared smugly. THE TWI'LECK TRAVELED A SHORTER DISTANCE, INDICATING HE QUIT THE RACE EARLY. THUS HE FORFEITED VICTORY TO HIS OPPONENT.  
  
"Wrong!" Vader declared triumphantly. "The Twi'leck was the victor."  
  
The screen flickered wildly. DOES NOT COMPUTE!  
  
"The Kessel Run is not measured in time, but in distance. As the small ships are picking up and dropping off cargo, the large ships are steadily moving away from the starting point. Completing the Run before the freighters have gone very far ensures victory. The Twi'leck covered a shorter distance and thus won."  
  
Symbols filled the screen -- *?!@$%^[ ]!  
  
"Your turn, screen-brains," Metria said with a giant smile.  
  
Com Pewter was clearly incensed, but he ran the numbers 1 through 10 through his screen a few times and calmed down enough to retort:  
  
WHICH CAME FIRST, THE HARPY OR THE EGG?  
  
"Describe a harpy," Vader requested.  
  
A picture of a half-woman, half-bird creature appeared on the screen. Luke felt his hopes die away. This was an age-old riddle that had no final answer, though in their version of the riddle a hawk-bat replaced the harpy.  
  
"The harpy," Vader replied. "Jenny explained the phenomenon of crossbreeding to me before we encountered you. The first harpies appear to be the result of large birds and humans meeting at love springs. They did not hatch from eggs but were born -- excuse me -- delivered by the stork." He chuckled. "You lose this round and the game."  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@! printed the screen. The air went smoky. Jenny covered her eyes.  
  
"Can we go now?" whined Metria.  
  
"I don't think Com Pewter's in a position to prevent us from leaving," Luke replied. They departed quickly.  
  
"Not bad, Vader," Luke said with a nod. "You know your stuff."  
  
"It's all a matter of using logic, Skywalker," replied Vader.  
  
"There's the Good Magician's castle!" exclaimed Jenny. "We're there!" 


	7. Chapter 7 Humphrey

Part VII -- Humphrey  
  
Most of Xanth looked quaint and bizarre, but the Good Magician's castle had been constructed to look almost like a Corusant skyscraper, though on a smaller scale. Its spired crown flung proud shoulders against the sky. The exterior gleamed with chrome and durasteel, and on every third floor elegant statues stood on ledges and encircled the building. There being eighteen floors in all, there were six sets of statues, the uppermost being hawk-bats and the others, in descending order, massifs, sand panthers, gundarks, krayt dragons, and opee sea killers. These last spouted water from their mouths into a glistening moat. The moat itself was protected by specially-grown spike-topped wallflowers that encircled the castle.  
  
"It's beautiful!" Luke marveled.  
  
Vader frowned. "Why does it look so much like one of our buildings? Is the Good Magician Mundanian?"  
  
"The Good Magician's always remodeling his castle," Jenny explained. "He must have known you were coming."  
  
"He always does," Metria snorted. "That's why he sews the challenges for each person seeking an answer."  
  
"He what?" asked Jenny.  
  
"Stitches, darns, customizes, hand-crafts..."  
  
"Tailors," Luke provided.  
  
"Whatever," Metria snapped.  
  
Vader ground his teeth. The demoness grated severely on his nerves. Hopefully the Magician could point out where the prize was so he could complete the game and be rid of her company shortly.  
  
"What challenges?" asked Luke.  
  
"You have to pass three trials before you can see the Good Magician," Jenny replied. "He does that to make sure only serious questions are brought before him. The year-of-service requirement also ensures this."  
  
Vader nodded. That process weeded out those wishing to ask foolish or trivial questions. Only someone with a great need or important mission would get through and receive an audience with the Good Magician. He made a mental note to implement his own system to block out unnecessary visitors to his palace.  
  
A doorway had been cut into one wallflower, and near it a young woman sat in the grass writing something on a paper wasp. When she saw them approach she popped the flat insect inside a nearby box and stood. Looking to be in her early twenties, she looked fairly nondescript -- short spiky brown-gray hair, blue eyes shielded by glasses, and a body a tactful person would have described as "big-boned."  
  
"Sorry, I'm not allowed to let you enter," she told them.  
  
"We are here to see the Good Magician," Vader told her.  
  
Her eyes went wide with recognition. "Darth Vader!"  
  
Vader was taken aback. "You're Mundanian?"  
  
"Yes, I am. And Luke Skywalker! Very pleased to meet you both! My name's Kenya. Kenya Starflight."  
  
"Pleasure's all ours," Luke replied, shaking her hand.  
  
"You must be part of a Wave," Jenny guessed.  
  
"What Wave?" asked Vader.  
  
"A Wave of Colonization," explained Jenny. "Waves of Mundanians often come into Xanth to settle. There have been fifteen Waves so far, the latest being the Black Wave."  
  
"Actually, I'm just visiting," Kenya corrected. "I've read the books about Xanth and really wanted to visit, but the gateway to Xanth is in Florida. I live in Idaho, and I can't afford the trip. But wishes have a way of coming true, I guess, because I found a way to get here."  
  
"How?" asked Luke.  
  
She grinned as if divulging a juicy secret. "By daydream. The dream realms in Xanth and Mundania must overlap. One day I was fantasizing about visiting Xanth so I could pit my wits against Com Pewter, and a day mare trotted right through."  
  
"A what?" asked Vader.  
  
"A day mare. Night mares and day mares are the horses that deliver dreams. Night mares handle the bad dreams, and day mares handle daydreams and more pleasant dreams. Anyway, I saw the day mare and asked if she could give me a ride while she was at it. She agreed, and here I am! Now I can visit Xanth as often as I want!"  
  
At least she wanted to be here. All Vader wanted was out. "You must be our first challenge."  
  
"Yup. My orders were to let no one through." She winked. "And mind tricks won't work on me, my Lord," she said with a grin, affecting the tone of an Imperial officer.  
  
"What if we were to just tango on through?" asked Metria.  
  
"Just what?" repeated Kenya.  
  
"Cha-cha, samba, disco, swing, dance, moonwalk, hip-hop..."  
  
"Waltz?"  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Kenya clapped her hands. "Here boy! Here Gregory!"  
  
A hideous shriek, and a weird mix of panther and bird-of-prey landed in the doorway. It flexed its talons and eyed the group hungrily.  
  
"Gregory Griffon, serving a year of service to the Good Magician in return for learning the location of his future mate," she introduced. "His orders were to eat anyone who tries to go through the doorway."  
  
"Is there an alternate doorway?" asked Vader.  
  
"Not that I'm aware of."  
  
"Is there some sort of puzzle we must solve before you will allow us through?"  
  
"I wasn't given one. I was just told no one was allowed through."  
  
Realization struck at that moment. "What were the Good Magician's exact words?"  
  
She altered her voice to a gravelly, grouchy-old-man sort of tone. "'Stay at the doorway in the north wallflower and let no one through. Sic the griffon on them if you have to.'"  
  
"No one." He gestured toward their company. "But there are five of us."  
  
"Beg your pardon?"  
  
"There are five of us. Not one, but five. The puzzle was in the wording of your instructions. You cannot let one person inside, but five may enter together. Am I wrong?"  
  
"Dunno," she said with a shrug. "You'll have to test it."  
  
"I have a bad feeling about this," Luke muttered, eyeing the griffon nervously.  
  
"It's now or never, Jaywalker," Metria told him, taking his arm. Jenny took Metria's other arm and hooked her free arm through Vader's. He, in turn, picked up Sammy, and four abreast they strode through the gate, past Gregory and to the shore of the moat.  
  
"Well, he didn't take a bite out of you, so you must have passed the challenge," Kenya observed. "Good luck on your next two!"  
  
"Why is a Mundanian serving the Good Magician?" asked Jenny.  
  
"I'm a writer," she replied. "I wrote mostly Star Wars fan fiction, and I wasn't doing a very good job in my opinion. So I visited the Good Magician and asked him how I could improve my writing. He told me to pick a genre and focus on it. I picked L/V. So far I've written several stories that I think are much better, and I'm still writing."  
  
"What's Star Wars?" asked Luke.  
  
She smiled mysteriously. "Enjoy your next trial!"  
  
Vader regarded the moat critically. There was no bridge, no boat or raft, no visible means of crossing. It didn't appear to be very deep, and he saw no trace of poison or a resident water monster in its glass-clear depths. Could they simply wade across? He doubted it would be that simple, and a sign ordering NO SWIMMING, DIVING, OR WADING confirmed that doubt.  
  
"How do we cross?" wondered Luke.  
  
"I can pop across!" Metria announced, doing just that. "Want me to turn into a bridge and get you across?"  
  
"I think the Companions need to let the Players solve this," Jenny told the demoness.  
  
Vader knelt to inspect the water. He cautiously dipped his hand in, but felt no change. Apparently it was unenchanted. But at the water's edge a curious object caught his eye, and he picked it up. It was a brown cracker with several tiny holes cut in it. Was there something significant about it? Was it a key to the challenge?  
  
An abrupt splash of water hit him full in the masked face, and he looked up to see a sleek gray animal giggle wildly as it swam merrily away.  
  
"A porpoise!" Jenny exclaimed, delighted. "Oh, I've never seen one up close before!"  
  
"Let me guess," Luke quipped. "The porpoise is here for a purpose."  
  
"Oh yes. A purpose always has a porpoise --- uh, a porpoise always has a purpose."  
  
Luke gave a boyish grin. "I never knew puns could be such fun!"  
  
"He who lives by the pun, dies by the pun," Vader remarked, wiping his mask off.  
  
"You're such a killjoy," Luke grumbled.  
  
The porpoise poked its head out of the water and squealed agreement.  
  
"Wait a minute," Luke went on, taking another look at the sign. "If swimming isn't allowed, what's the porpoise doing in there?"  
  
Vader watched the porpoise perform a backward flip. "An excellent point. Why don't you ask it?"  
  
"I don't speak Porpoise-ese," Luke shot back. "Maybe this would have been an advantage of having Grundy as a Companion."  
  
"Perhaps the Good Magician knew neither of us selected the golem and so planned this challenge accordingly," Vader theorized.  
  
"Maybe I can talk to it," Metria volunteered. She changed into a porpoise and dove into the water. "Hey purpose, why..."  
  
Like a torpedo she was spit from the water, landing in a heap on the bank opposite the others. She assumed human form and stood, dripping. "So much for that."  
  
Luke's eyes bulged.  
  
"Metria, put some clothes on," Vader ordered.  
  
"You're not my Player or my boss," Metria sneered, sticking her tongue out until it extended nearly a meter.  
  
"Me-tri-a!" he bellowed.  
  
A dress popped over her body. It was amazing how much such factors as volume and tone could affect someone's authority over another.  
  
"Well, you were still talking human," Jenny pointed out. "Just because you change your shape doesn't mean you can talk the language."  
  
Luke braced himself and stepped into the water. The moat flung him out and against a symme-tree. Jenny attempted to jump in and was similarly ejected. The "no swimming, wading, or diving" rule apparently affected all of them -- except for the porpoise, who laughed maniacally each time one of them got booted.  
  
"There must be a way across," Vader growled, scowling at the porpoise. It chuckled and splashed a flipper-ful of water at him in return.  
  
"Is there an object around here that looks out of place?" Jenny asked. "Often the Good Magician leaves an unusual clue or helpful tool around."  
  
"Out of place?" Metria's head became a set of binoculars as she scanned her surroundings. "I see a handsome young Mundane and his ugly mechanical father, but other than that..."  
  
"This was lying by the bank," Vader told her, handing the cracker to Jenny.  
  
She inspected it. "I've never seen one of these outside a kitchen. It's a graham cracker. I don't know why it's full of holes..."  
  
"Another pun!" Luke exclaimed. "Graham cracker full of holes -- a hole-o-graham!"  
  
Hologram. Holey graham. It did make dumb punnish sense. Luke had a knack for this sort of thing.  
  
"What's a hole-o-graham?" asked Jenny.  
  
"It's a three-dimensional picture produced by a holo-projector," Luke explained. "It's visible, but it's not solid. Sort of like it's made of light..."  
  
"Like Sorceress Iris' talent of illusion!" Jenny exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah, like that."  
  
Vader took the hole-o-graham back and inspected it. One hole seemed slightly larger than the others. He pressed his thumb to it, and a holo of a man with the head of a porpoise appeared before them, about a meter tall and glowing with a bluish light.  
  
"Hello," the holo chirped. "Porpoise-human / human-porpoise translation holo-program at your service."  
  
"That's it!" Metria shouted. "That's our flue!"  
  
"Our what?" asked Luke.  
  
"Chimney, stovepipe, hint, evidence..."  
  
"Clue," Vader replied.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Luke addressed the holo. "Ask the porpoise why he's able to swim in the moat when there's a no-swimming sign."  
  
The holo turned and exchanged clicks and snickers with the porpoise. "He says," it replied in Basic, "that he has a special permit from the Good Magician to inhabit his moat."  
  
"So all we need is to get a permit and we can cross," Luke mused.  
  
"But we need to cross the moat in order to reach the Good Magician and get a permit," Jenny replied.  
  
It was a circular problem. But Vader knew he could find a way around it. "Does the porpoise's permit allow him to carry someone across?"  
  
Another series of clucks and squawks. "He says that there's nothing in his permit that says he can't take someone across. Just lean over and grab his dorsal fin."  
  
"You did it again, Vader!" Metria cheered, jumping up and down with glee. Vader groaned as Luke stared, transfixed, at the demoness as the activity jostled her front around.  
  
"Luke," he hissed.  
  
"Oh... uh... yeah." He took hold of the porpoise's fin, and it gently pulled him into the water and across the moat.  
  
"Don't worry too much over it," Jenny told Vader. "Demonesses have that effect on most men."  
  
That didn't make him feel any better. He greatly distrusted that slut of a demoness around his son. For a moment he wondered why she didn't affect him like she affected Luke. Maybe it had something to do with her being Luke's Companion. Or maybe he was just immune to her wiles.  
  
Next the porpoise pulled Jenny through the water to the other shore, then carried Sammy across on its back. Finally Vader took the creature's fin in his hand, and the porpoise took him across. Everyone patted themselves dry with towels from a nearby towel tree, then thanked the porpoise. It giggled and waved its flippers in reply.  
  
"I wonder why its here," Luke mused.  
  
"When the demons changed the Kiss-Me River to the Kill-Me River, the porpoises living there had to retreat," Jenny explained. "They're happy creatures and didn't like their home turning nasty. But some got left behind. I suppose this one came to the Good Magician to find his way back to his kind."  
  
"I hope he makes it back soon," Luke said, returning the porpoise's wave.  
  
The boy had a good heart in him. Vader hoped it wasn't too late to drive it out of him. Compassion was a weakness in a Sith.  
  
At last they came to the castle gate. It was wide open, and an elf girl was in the doorway playing some sort of skipping game.  
  
"One of your kind?" Vader asked Jenny.  
  
"No, I'm an elf from the World of Two Moons. This is a Xanth elf." She felt silent, suddenly pensive.  
  
"Excuse me, miss?" asked Luke, trying to address the elf girl. "We're trying to get to the Good Magician..."  
  
A web of electricity crackled across the doorway when Luke tried to step through it. The force of the shock threw him back and into Metria's arms. The elf continued her game, unfazed.  
  
"What was that?" he demanded, stunned.  
  
"Are you okay?" asked Metria. "Let me kiss it better."  
  
"No Me -- " he began, but she had already planted her lips on his. Angrily Vader reached out to grab her by the hair and pull her head away, but his hand passed right through her tresses as if they were a hologram.  
  
"Better?" she asked, pulling away.  
  
Luke squeaked assent and nodded.  
  
"If you do that again..." snarled Vader.  
  
"Are you his Companion?" demanded Metria. "Huh? Do YOU want to kiss him better?"  
  
Luke looked about to lose his breakfast at the thought. Vader didn't blame him.  
  
Jenny picked up a stone and threw it at the door. Upon hitting whatever barrier had shocked Luke, it fizzled and was thrown back to the ground, leaving a trail of sparks in its wake.  
  
"Someone's stretched a bolt of lightning across the doorway," she observed. "I wonder how far it goes."  
  
Vader and Luke gathered fistfuls of pebbles to find out. By tossing them at the bolt and observing the electrical reaction or lack thereof, they determined that the barrier extended about five meters past each side of the doorway and reached about three meters high. Too high to jump over, and too far to the sides to simply break through the wall and bypass the barrier in that manner. And though there was no means of proving it, Vader was certain it extended underground as well.  
  
"I wonder," Luke murmured. "Hey everyone, watch the elf."  
  
They did. She was hopping in a pattern back and forth through the doorway -- feet apart, feet together, feet apart, left foot raised, feet together, right foot raised, feet apart. Then she'd turn and repeat the steps in the other direction. All the while she sang a child's jingle that was familiar to the two Players:  
  
"Jedi Knights -- in a row.  
  
Jedi Knights -- see them go.  
  
Jedi Knight -- say your prayers.  
  
I hear a Sith -- on the stairs."  
  
"How does she know that song?" Luke wondered. "We sang it all the time back on Tatooine."  
  
"It's a very old song," Vader replied. "I believe it dates back to the time of the Sith Wars."  
  
"What are we supposed to be watching?" demanded Metria.  
  
"Try to memorize her steps," Luke replied. "It may be that you have to imitate her actions to get through. After all, you don't see her getting fried by lightning, do you?"  
  
"By all means, show us how it's done," Vader urged.  
  
"Nuh-UH!" Metria shouted. "You aren't washing out MY Companion, steel-face! YOU show us how its done!"  
  
He stepped forward until he reached a starting point parallel to the elf's, then, with some misgivings, imitated the steps. Feet apart, feet together, feet apart, left foot up...  
  
Then he found himself lying on his back in the grass, limbs tingling with residual energy, and not knowing exactly how he'd gotten there. Jenny was kneeling beside him, shaking him urgently.  
  
"Lord Vader! Are you okay?"  
  
He groaned and sat up. "I must have missed a step."  
  
"But you were doing all the steps!" Jenny protested.  
  
"Sure wish I had a holocamm for that fall you took," Luke smirked. "And I know what you missed. You weren't singing the song."  
  
Vader stared at Luke. "I am NOT repeating that childish ditty."  
  
"Fine, stay out here and lose the game," Luke shot back tartly, turning to the doorway. He sang along with the elf girl and skipped his way into the castle, Metria close behind.  
  
"Better swallow your pride and follow him, Lord Vader," Jenny advised. "There's no other way in."  
  
His pride left a bitter taste in his mouth, but he put it away and grudgingly imitated the elf, song and all. Crossing the barrier gave him an unpleasant if painless buzzing sensation in his skull, but at least he made it through unscathed. Jenny picked up Sammy and followed close behind.  
  
"Okay, we're in," Metria sniffed. "Now what?"  
  
"Now I get to go home!" the elf girl exclaimed, halting in mid-skip. "My year of service is over!" She giggled and ran off.  
  
"All the Magician's servants are people who have asked a question and are making payment," Jenny explained. "But I don't think we have to do service, since we're playing a game."  
  
A woman approached them. She wore a thick veil and had snakes in place of hair. She curtsied politely.  
  
"Hello, Players," she greeted. "I am the Gorgon, Humphrey's wife. Do come in and refresh yourselves. My husband will be with you shortly."  
  
"Who's Humphrey?" asked Luke.  
  
"The Good Magician," Jenny replied.  
  
They entered a kitchen, where a young man and woman were cutting up apples and kneading dough for an apple pie. Apparently no pie trees grew in the vicinity of the castle. The young man looked up and nodded upon seeing them.  
  
"Hi," he greeted. "I'm Hugo, the Good Magician's son. This is my girlfriend Wira."  
  
Vader noted that Wira's eyes seemed to be out of focus. She must have been blinded in an accident, or perhaps she was born blind. It hadn't occurred to him that here, in a land where magic was the rule, a person could still be irreparably blinded or suffer a birth defect. Apparently their worlds weren't as different as they seemed.  
  
"Are you folks hungry?" asked Hugo, tossing an apple to Luke.  
  
"Don't you need this to cook?" inquired Luke.  
  
"Nah, we can easily get more." He opened his hand, and another apple materialized in his palm. "My talent is conjuring fruit."  
  
Everyone sat themselves at the table and helped themselves to Hugo's fruit. He even conjured a milkweed pod and poured the contents into a dish for Sammy.  
  
"Normally the two of you would each be granted a question," the Gorgon explained, indicating Luke and Vader. "But since you worked together to solve the challenges, you will be granted one question between the two of you."  
  
"No problem," Luke muttered through a mouthful of five-pointed starfruit. "We're on the same mission, so we have the same question."  
  
Luke erred in that respect. Vader's mission was to convince Luke to accompany him back to his portion of Mundania. But he was positive he could do that by himself. So for now, he would let Luke's question prevail.  
  
"Very well," the Gorgon replied. "When you're done with lunch, Wira will take you to the Good Magician's study."  
  
Soon Luke and Vader were climbing a massive set of stairs while Jenny and Metria waited on the ground floor. Apparently Humphrey -- the Good Magician -- whoever had yet to learn of Mundanian lifts.  
  
Five floors later, Wira pushed open the door to a musty-smelling room packed to the ceiling with books of all sizes and types. The Good Magician was a short, gnarled, gnomish old man that was almost indistinguishable from the books surrounding him. He was hunched over a particularly massive tome, muttering and peering over his spectacles at the text. For a moment Vader was reminded of Master Yoda.  
  
"What do you want?" he demanded grouchily. Evidently the term "Good Magician" didn't apply to all aspects of the wizard.  
  
"These are the Players, Father Humphrey," Wira explained. "They have passed the challenges and wish to ask you a question."  
  
A feeble but definite smile tried to force its way across the Magician's leathery features and almost succeeded. He really did like the girl, but he had a grumpy front to maintain.  
  
"Where can we find the prize?" asked Luke.  
  
Humphrey flipped another page aside. "Skywalker... Skywalker... prize... location thereof..." He squinted at the page. "The prize must be at the center of your attention," he replied, putting extra emphasis on the second syllable of "center."  
  
They waited expectantly for more.  
  
"Yeah, go on," Luke urged.  
  
"And what?"  
  
"Answer the question," Vader finished.  
  
"I just did."  
  
"What kind of answer is that?" demanded Luke.  
  
"Is that a second question?" asked Humphrey.  
  
Vader had had enough. The last three days had been extremely wearing on his nerves, between Metria, all these headache-inducing puns, and puzzles to be solved every way they turned. To have come so far and be rewarded with such a vague answer only sparked his fury. He stormed forward, past the startled Wira and to the old man. Grabbing the book off his desk, he flung it aside and brought his cybernetic fist down in its place so hard the wood of the desk split. Unfazed, the Good Magician looked up at him and listened calmly as he began raving.  
  
"Magician Humphrey, you cannot give us such a ridiculous answer! We've come too far and struggled too much for you to blow us off! Do you mean to tell us that hiking through kilometers of jungle, crossing the Gap, dealing with deranged machines, skeletons, goblins, ant lions, griffons, and your own spells are to be repayed through some stupid... wordplay?!"  
  
Had the man been one of his subordinates, Vader would have throttled him in a heartbeat. But he only glowered at the Magician as he folded his arms and leaned back in his chair.  
  
"You Skywalkers were always short on patience," Humphrey noted. "Always wanting to rush ahead and do things your way. Not content to just let things happen, to trust in a higher power. No, you have to buck the system and go off on your own darned idealistic crusades."  
  
Shocked, Vader took an involuntary step back. How did he know...  
  
"Perhaps you should stop flapping your mouth and simply trust in your Force, Skywalker." The book fluttered back to his desk of its own accord. "Maybe then the balance will be worked out. And if you must have a better answer -- the center of your attention should be at Lake Eerie."  
  
"Lake what?" Luke asked, but Humphrey had already tuned both of them out. 


	8. Chapter 8 Fracto

Part VIII -- Fracto  
  
Kenya was jotting something down on her paper wasp when the Players exited the castle. "So, how'd it go?" she inquired.  
  
"Not good," Luke replied. "Our answer made no sense whatsoever."  
  
She smiled apologetically. "Don't sweat over it. One way or another, the Good Magician's answers turn out to be correct. Good luck on your journey."  
  
Luke hoped their luck would hold, but he doubted it. With such a vague answer to work with, their chances of winning the game were slim.  
  
"The prize must be at the center of our attention, and the center of our attention must be at Lake Eerie," Jenny murmured. "So the prize must be at Lake Eerie."  
  
"Where is Lake Eerie?" asked Vader.  
  
Jenny frowned. "I'm sorry. I don't know."  
  
"Metria, you must know," Luke said hopefully.  
  
The demoness shrugged her shoulders until they rose past her forehead. "Never heard of it."  
  
"Great," snorted Vader. "Knowing our luck, no one's heard of it."  
  
"Maybe Chem Centaur can help," Jenny offered. "Her talent is making maps, so she might have it on one of her maps..."  
  
Luke halted, his mind seizing the name. "Chem who?"  
  
"Chem Centaur," Jenny repeated. "She's very nice..."  
  
"Centaur!" Luke exclaimed. "That's how the Good Magician pronounced 'center!' He meant 'centaur' of our attention, not 'center!'"  
  
Vader nodded. "There was a centaur among the Companion choices, if my memory serves me."  
  
"So what's this all mean?" demanded Metria.  
  
"That if we find Chem Centaur, she may be able to help us in our quest," Luke replied.  
  
"But the centaur of our attention is at Lake Eerie," Vader pointed out. "If Chem truly is the centaur of our attention, we would have to find the lake in order to find her."  
  
"And we can't find the lake until we find her!" realized Jenny.  
  
What a mess! Luke was about ready to throw up his hands and surrender. But he knew no way out of the game other than winning it. So they all had no choice but to keep going.  
  
"The centaur of our attention might not be Chem," Jenny added. "It could be another centaur."  
  
"Why don't you ask the cat?" suggested Metria.  
  
Jenny set Sammy down. "Sammy, find Chem Centaur."  
  
The cat streaked off, and everyone had to run to keep up with him. It wasn't long before Jenny became too winded to run anymore.  
  
"Metria, turn into a diggle again so we can all ride on your back," Luke requested.  
  
With a loud pop she made the transformation. Everyone climbed aboard, and she slithered through the ground after the cat.  
  
"Watch out!" shouted Jenny.  
  
A fearsome tangle tree lashed out with its tentacle-like branches, its limbs making a groaning sound that sounded like a vicious snarl. Sammy darted under the brush and out of its reach, but it only turned its attention toward the others. Vader ignited his lightsaber, and Luke drew his blast-her, hoping the weapon wasn't particular about shooting gender-less creatures.  
  
But Metria had other plans. She ducked beneath the surface of the earth like a water fowl, dragging the others with her.  
  
"Metria, you'll smother us to death!" Vader shouted.  
  
"Will not!" she shot back. "Watch!"  
  
Dark soil and gray stone surrounded them, yet Luke had no problem breathing. They traveled through the ground as effortlessly as if it were mist. When they had traveled a sufficient distance to bypass the tangle tree, she surfaced again.  
  
"Diggles phase through the ground, remember?" Jenny explained. "Sorry, I should have reminded you."  
  
"Metria should have warned us," Vader replied.  
  
"Luke already knew and you're not my Player, so there," Metria sneered. A mouth appeared on the back of her head and stuck its tongue out at Vader.  
  
Sammy paused at the brink of a deep canyon, sat down, and looked expectantly at the others. Metria stopped and resumed her human form. The others promptly fell to the ground in a heap.  
  
"The Gap Chasm!" Luke exclaimed, disentangling himself from Jenny and Vader. "But it took us a day to get from the Gap to the Good Magician!"  
  
"The game must be speeding us along to the next challenge," Jenny replied. "It normally takes over a week to get from the Isthmus, where we started, to the Magician's castle, but it only took us three days. Things change a bit for the game."  
  
"Chem must be down there," Vader mused, glancing over the edge.  
  
A horrendous bellow rumbled from the depths.  
  
"And the Gap Dragon, too," added Jenny. "How are we going to get down there?"  
  
"We can always hike down," Luke suggested.  
  
"What about the dragon?" inquired Vader.  
  
"We'll handle him when the time comes," Luke replied. He took a step down into the canyon. "Anyone coming?"  
  
Metria morphed into a lightning bug and settled onto the collar of Luke's shirt. She would be taking the easy way down, of course. Grudgingly Vader followed, Jenny close behind.  
  
"Sammy, find a path," urged Jenny.  
  
Sammy meowed and hopped onto a boulder. Vader followed the cat's cue and stepped onto the rock. But it sank into the ground, becoming flush with the canyon wall, and Vader was dumped into a channel that curved and looped its way into the Gap. He rapidly slid out of sight, uttering a loud, prolonged curse that left a black streak of char in his wake.  
  
"A rock slide!" Jenny shouted. "These are fun!" She leaped into the channel and slid after Vader.  
  
Luke smiled at the pun and leaped into the slide.  
  
The slide meandered down the side of the ravine, in no particular hurry to get to the bottom. Luke knew the feeling. He wasn't exactly keen on facing the Gap Dragon himself. But perhaps, at the bottom, they'd find an answer. The game wouldn't make a challenge without providing a way to solve it, would it?  
  
The slide finally terminated in a mass of pillow bushes on the ravine floor. Metria assumed human form and helped Luke to his feet. Vader and Jenny were already up, picking down from their clothes.  
  
"I don't hear the dragon," Metria noted. "He must not have pack us yet."  
  
"Must not have what?" repeated Luke.  
  
"Gaggle, pride, school, pod, flock, group..."  
  
"Herd? Oh, heard."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
A rumble shook the air. Everyone glanced around, expecting the dragon, but it wasn't to be seen. Luke shivered a bit. Had it suddenly grown colder?  
  
"That's one ugly cloud," Metria said with her usual forthrightness.  
  
Said cloud, which was passing over the sun at the moment, paused and rumbled again. A jag of lightning illuminated its underside.  
  
"Oh-oh, that's Fracto," Jenny said warily. "He's the cloud king, and he's very temperamental."  
  
Luke smirked. That sounded like someone he knew.  
  
"He's not dangerous, is he?" asked Vader.  
  
"He can be," cautioned Jenny. "Don't insult him and he should leave us alone."  
  
"Pooh," grunted Metria, becoming a growly bear for an instant. "What can a puffball like Fraction do to us?"  
  
The wind picked up, blowing Luke and Jenny's hair, Metria's skirt, and Vader's cloak askew. Flecks of rain began to pepper the air.  
  
"Shut your mouth, Metria, before I shut it for you," Vader ordered.  
  
Metria muttered a long list of words that blackened the ground around her and made Jenny's ears glow bright red, but at least none of the derogatory spiel was directed at Fracto.  
  
"Forgive our friend, King Fracto," Vader apologized. "She is unable to appreciate the power of the elements. Safe journey, weather-master." He raised a welcoming hand toward the sky.  
  
Fracto gave a thunderous growl of pleasure and continued on his way. Luke had never thought Vader to be diplomatic, but he was thankful for it. It had helped them pass this challenge unscathed.  
  
Whomp.  
  
"What was that?" Luke asked, suddenly nervous.  
  
"The Gap Dragon, no doubt," Vader replied, hand on his lightsaber.  
  
"We'd better find Chem and get out of here," Jenny stated.  
  
"No kidding!" Luke exclaimed as the earth trembled with another mighty whomp.  
  
They crossed the floor of the Gap and searched for an easy way to scale the cliff, but there was none. Nor was there any sign a centaur had passed this way. All the while the dragon came steadily closer.  
  
"Here he comes!" shouted Metria.  
  
A reptilian head rounded the corner, followed by a sinuous body with six legs, tiny stunted wings, and a lashing tail. All purple-and-green scales and sharp teeth and silver claws, it was easily the size of an AT-ST and twice as fearsome. It jetted white-hot steam from its mouth as it came, and Luke could feel the heat of its breath even some fifty meters away.  
  
"If either of you have a plan," Metria advised, "now's a good time to implant it."  
  
"Good time to what?" demanded Vader.  
  
"Embed, bury, begin, commence..."  
  
"Implement."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Luke reached for his blast-her. Wait, he couldn't use it. The Gap Dragon was male.  
  
"Metria, can you change into something to scare it off?" he asked.  
  
"Nothing can scare that creature!" she balked.  
  
Then he had a brainstorm. Lightning seemed to flash over his head to emphasize it. As Uncle Owen had once said, there was more than one way to rewire a vaporator.  
  
"I'd rather contend with the Gap Dragon than that pipsqueak Fracto," he said loudly.  
  
Fracto perked up, aware that his name had been mentioned.  
  
"Luke," Vader rumbled threateningly, sounding almost like the cloud.  
  
"Oh, come on!" Luke exclaimed. "That lousy puff of fog can't do much damage, can it?"  
  
A loud crack of thunder made the Gap Dragon pause. It roared at Fracto and whomped closer.  
  
"Sleepwalker, what the #### are you doing?" protested Metria, her curse turning the air smoky.  
  
"Telling the truth. After all, clouds are just condensed water vapor. No real brains at all. And Fracto's probably the dumbest of them all."  
  
This burst of thunder was deafening. Even the dragon jumped at the sound.  
  
"C'mon, work with me here," Luke hissed at the others.  
  
At last Metria realized what Luke was up to. "Yeah, Fractal's a real airhead. Just a little scud with some static in his belly."  
  
"And a real windbag, too," Jenny piped up, catching on.  
  
Vader stared at all of them, mute with amazement at their apparent stupidity. All the while Fracto's ominous thundering grew louder and louder.  
  
"What's that noise?" wondered Luke loudly. "Do clouds get gas?"  
  
"He's all gas," Metria replied. "It's what passes as a brain for him."  
  
"And a personality," added Jenny with a giggle.  
  
It was as if someone had turned on a faucet. Rain slued down from the sky as they all felt the fury of a cloud scorned. Luke was instantly soaked to the bone, and the others looked no better.  
  
The Gap Dragon felt Fracto's anger as well. He shook water from his ears and bellowed again. But when he tried to whomp toward his prey, he lost his footing on the wet ground and landed on his belly.  
  
At last Vader figured out what Luke was trying to accomplish. "About calling you weather-master, Fracto -- I take it back. A Tatooine dust storm could do better than this."  
  
The rain doubled in intensity. Giant puddles materialized on the canyon floor. The Gap Dragon churned the earth beneath his feet into slippery mud trying to stand up, so he appeared to be whomping in place as he struggled to reach them.  
  
"You call this a storm?" Vader went on with a disdainful laugh. "The clouds of Kamino would laugh hysterically if they could see this."  
  
Hail intermixed itself with the rain, stinging them. But everyone was on a roll and in high spirits, laughing, shouting insults at the cloud, waving cheerily at the increasingly frustrated and very muddy Gap Dragon. Luke couldn't believe his plan was working so well.  
  
"Do you hear that?" asked Metria.  
  
"Yeah, must be Fracto's flatulence problem," Luke replied jokingly.  
  
"Not Fatso," she replied, serious for once. "It sounds like a giant toilet being flushed."  
  
Luke hushed up and listened. A curious roar was making itself known over the drone of rain and the dragon's struggles. It grew louder the longer he listened to it. The Force screamed a warning.  
  
"Climb higher!" he shouted. "Flash flood!"  
  
His warning was half an instant too late. A solid wall of water thundered around the bend and smashed into the Gap Dragon, swallowing him up and reaching hungrily for them.  
  
Safe in the sky, Fracto enjoyed the last laugh as his storm-induced flood carried the Players and their Companions away.  
  
***  
  
Vader acted fast upon seeing the wave's approach. He reached for his chest controls and activated the emergency override system on his respirator. The device inflated his lungs to full capacity, then ceased operation.  
  
Then he was swept away by the flood, his feet where his head should be, his world spinning around him as if he'd been stuffed in a laundry dryer. The water's force ground him into the dirt of the canyon floor, then tossed him roughly against something moving -- Jenny, he guessed -- then scraped him along the cliffside. All the while he struggled to regain his bearings so he could kick to the surface, but up and down changed places so frequently the task was impossible.  
  
At last his hands found something solid that he clung to for dear life. He took a moment to discern that his head was facing up and his feet facing down, then climbed up what he assumed was the canyon wall. But when his head broke the surface he found himself clutching, not stone, but the armored side of the Gap Dragon.  
  
This is just great, he thought. Out of the reactor, into the shaft. For the first time, he realized he had a good chance of dying in Xanth. How would that affect his Mundanian existence, he wondered. Would he simply be declared missing? Or would some snooping officer find him dead at his computer?  
  
But he realized that chomping him was the last thing on the Gap Dragon's mind at the moment. The beast was swimming with the current, vestigial wings spread to maintain balance in the water and tail rigid to act as a rudder. He rolled one great eye to regard Vader, grunted, and resumed paddling. Apparently they were on the same side at the moment.  
  
He felt a stabbing pain in his chest, and he reactivated his respirator. Once he'd regained his breath he scanned the waters for the others.  
  
Metria had taken on the form of a half-human half-fish creature. She swam alongside the dragon in order to talk to Vader.  
  
"Have you seen that son of yours?" she demanded.  
  
"No."  
  
"&&&&!" she hissed, diving beneath the waves with a flick of her tail.  
  
A yellowish soggy lump bobbed on the surface of the water, and Vader extended an arm to scoop it up. It was Sammy, coughing up water and looking like a drowned nexu whelp.  
  
"Tell the Gap Dragon where to find Luke and Jenny!" Vader ordered, throwing the cat onto the dragon's shoulder.  
  
Sammy scrambled up the Gap Dragon's neck until he was atop his head, yowling into an ear that was so massive he could have easily fallen in. The dragon growled in reply and veered to the side, pushing Vader to a convenient ledge. He gripped the stone and pulled himself onto it, and the dragon swam on like some mythic sea serpent.  
  
The stone ledge was about two meters wide and eight meters long, so Vader was in little danger of falling off. All the same, he scooted as close to the cliff face as he could and assumed a sitting position, awaiting the dragon's return. He didn't have long to wait. The Gap Dragon ducked his head under the water, then turned around and strained against the current to reach Vader, holding a limp form in his mouth.  
  
It was with an unexpected dose of shock that Vader recognized it as Luke.  
  
The Gap Dragon placed his first set of legs onto the ledge, then gently set the young Jedi down as if he were one of his own hatchlings. His ears pressed flat to his skull, he whuffed what sounded remarkably like an apology before sliding back into the water to find Jenny.  
  
Vader hurried to Luke's side. He wasn't breathing. His lips were blue with the chill of the flood waters and lack of air. Vader fumbled at his neck to locate a pulse but couldn't find one.  
  
Luke Skywalker, hero of the Alliance, destroyer of the Death Star, son of Darth Vader, savior of the Jedi Order, was dead. 


	9. Chapter 9 Fellow Ship

Part IX -- Fellow Ship  
  
Luke was dead.  
  
It took a moment for the significance of this to sink in. Skywalker was gone. He would never join the dark side. Nor would he fight another battle against the Empire or complete his Jedi training. If he reported this to the Emperor, the monarch would be beside himself with sadistic glee. He'd always wanted Skywalker dead but favored turning him to the dark side as an alternative. The Empire was rid of the threat Skywalker represented.  
  
So why did Vader feel like part of him had just died with him?  
  
He stared at Luke's lifeless form, emotion swirling within him. Gently he turned Luke's head to the side to examine his profile. Yes, he'd inherited some of his mother's features. The eyes and hair belonged to Anakin Skywalker, yes, but no amount of Tatooine-farmboy DNA could mask the Nubian regality in that chin and mouth.  
  
Padme... Vader closed his eyes and shuddered at the agony and joy that name brought. Was that what had been lost along with his son? That memory of his beloved, her laughter, her touch, the completeness he'd felt around her? Or the memory of Anakin Skywalker, once as brave and confidant a hero as this boy had been? Both had lived on, in some small way, inside him, weaknesses in his devotion to the Sith Order. Meeting Skywalker again had rekindled those sparks of light. Had his death finally managed to snuff them?  
  
Why did he regret that so? Wasn't this what he had wanted all along? To shed his past entirely? Wasn't there no room for love, for compassion, in the Sith Order? Skywalker's death was for the best, wasn't it?  
  
By the stars, this was his child! His flesh and blood! How could he be so callous about this? His son was dead!  
  
With a sob he leaned over Luke's body, face pressed to his chest, hands clutching his body, sobs wracking him. Desperately he wished Luke alive, knowing full well his son's life was beyond his grasp. He hated the painful emotions Luke's presence ignited, yet he longed to feel them again. He wanted no more reminders of his past, yet he desired to relive those memories. His soul was cruelly wrenched from one extreme of that paradox to another as he wept for his child.  
  
Then he heard it. A faint sound, like a double-strike on a distant drum. Had he imagined it? No, there came another, identical to the first.  
  
He sat up, on the verge of panic. Luke was alive! He had a pulse! But he wasn't breathing, and Vader couldn't resuscitate him. Stars, what was he to do?  
  
"Lord Vader!"  
  
Jenny was staring down at him from atop the Gap Dragon's head, wet and bedraggled but fine. She slid down the monster's neck and landed beside her Companion.  
  
"Jenny!" he exclaimed, standing, relief washing through him. "You have to help me!"  
  
"What..." she began, then saw Luke. "Oh no, he's dead!"  
  
"He's not dead! His heart's still beating! Jenny, you're the only one who can do this! Put your mouth over his and blow into his lungs!"  
  
She recoiled. "I can't!"  
  
"You must!" he screamed. The notoriously unflappable Sith Lord was gone, replaced by a frantic father.  
  
"But I fall under the Adult Conspiracy! Any kiss, even one like this, is against the..."  
  
"Conspiracy be damned! My son is dying!"  
  
Her eyes were wide as she got a glimpse of Vader at his most frightening. "Metria..."  
  
"Isn't here! You're Luke's only hope, Jenny!"  
  
This was totally unlike him. He never panicked in an emergency, simply did what needed to be done. But the threat of losing Luke was more than he could take. More roughly than he meant to, he took Jenny's shoulders and pushed her beside Luke.  
  
She made up her mind. Taking Luke's face in her hands, she opened his mouth and put her lips over his, breathing into his throat.  
  
Tense seconds dragged on as Vader, Sammy, and the Gap Dragon watched Jenny try to revive Luke. Rain continued to pour down around them, but they hardly noticed.  
  
Metria showed up in the middle of the crisis, becoming fully human as she hauled herself onto the ledge. For once Vader didn't order her to do something about her nudity.  
  
At last Vader turned away. If he hadn't been revived by now, he was most likely gone for good. "Enough, Jenny," he ordered through a tight throat. "I apologize for my brusqueness..."  
  
"No, Vader!" Metria exclaimed. "He's coming around! Look!"  
  
He whirled to see Luke's chest jerk. Jenny turned the young Jedi onto his side as he coughed up water and struggled for breath.  
  
***  
  
"You finally let somebody kiss your son and it's the %%%%ed underage elf?!" Luke heard Metria exclaim as he coughed and gasped, recovering from his near-drowning experience.  
  
"Well, you weren't around to do anything," Jenny pointed out.  
  
"Oh, who cares?" The demoness grabbed Luke and embraced him tightly, planting a huge kiss on his lips. "Don't scare me like that again, Moonwalker!"  
  
"Yeah, whatever," he replied. "Just..."  
  
"Yes?" she breathed.  
  
"Please..."  
  
"Anything."  
  
"Get some clothes on."  
  
She frowned but complied. "I suppose you'll want to thank Jenny. She saved your life."  
  
Luke smiled at the elf girl gratefully. She was a kind, sweet child, ever ready to help anyone and not just her assigned Player. And her action was heroic, especially since he was her Player's competition. How in the galaxy had she gotten stuck serving Vader as a Companion? He was the complete opposite of her. Maybe the Dark Lord wanted to corrupt her, too.  
  
"Thank you, Jenny. I owe you."  
  
She blushed. "Don't thank me. Thank Lord Vader. He told me to save you."  
  
Stunned, Luke stared at Vader. He hadn't! But of course. He wanted him alive for the Emperor. He was hoping to capture him during the course of the game so he could turn him to the dark side. It was a purely self-serving action.  
  
"Oh," he replied. "Well... thanks."  
  
Vader took several minutes to reply. "Good to see you functional again, Skywalker."  
  
Jenny and Metria stared at the Sith Lord in surprise, as if expecting something more out of him. Luke wondered what had gone on between the three of them while he was unconscious. Perhaps it didn't matter.  
  
"How are we going to get out of here?" he said at last, looking up the sheer cliff face.  
  
"Maybe our gothic friend here can hitch us a ride with his dragon friend," suggested Metria.  
  
"The Gap Dragon has moved on," Vader replied, nodding downstream. Sure enough, the beast was rapidly paddling out of sight.  
  
"Probably making sure his family's all right," Jenny replied. "He has a mate and son, you know."  
  
"Will they be all right?" asked Luke.  
  
"I'm sure they will," Jenny replied. "The Gap Dragon and his ilk are tough beasts."  
  
"Luke started this mess," Metria pointed out. "After all, it was his idea to annoy Fog-Face Fracto. So let him figure it out."  
  
"Uh..." Luke glanced at the cliff again. It looked unscaleable. "Maybe we can ask Sammy to find us a boat," he suggested lamely.  
  
Sammy meowed, then ran to the edge of the stone ledge and leaped to a narrow path that was little more than a long thin jut in the side of the cliff face. Surprised but willing to check the option out, everyone followed, though the path was so narrow they had to go single file and practically hug the canyon wall.  
  
The path ended at a second ledge right at the water line, where a bored-looking troll waited in a small wooden booth. Bobbing in the waters nearby, tethered to the ledge, was an assortment of small boats.  
  
"I wasn't being serious," Luke said, puzzled.  
  
"The game must have provided this," Jenny replied. "Though there must be a challenge embedded in it somewhere."  
  
The troll looked up. "Whaddaya want?"  
  
"I assume this is a troll booth," said Vader.  
  
"It is if you want to rent a ship," the troll grunted in reply, waving at the boats.  
  
"Those are ships?" Luke asked doubtfully.  
  
"Got a problem with that?" the troll snapped.  
  
Luke decided not to argue further. "How much to rent a... er... ship?"  
  
"Whatcha got?"  
  
Luke fumbled around in his pockets. He hadn't a credit on him or anything else of value.  
  
"I've Mundanian money, but nothing else," Vader said.  
  
"That'll do," the troll surprised them all by saying. "I know folks who do trading with Mundania."  
  
Vader handed over a hundred-credit bill. The troll held it up to the light, nodded, and tucked it away. "Take a ship," he grunted.  
  
"Which one?" asked Jenny.  
  
"Your choice."  
  
Luke knelt and studied the boats. Each one had a name emblazoned on the side. But what odd names -- Friend, Relation, Partner, Comrade, and Fellow.  
  
"This must be a challenge," he murmured.  
  
"My guess is that we need to select a ship that fits our group," Jenny offered. "The wrong ship will probably sink or fall apart or direct us into a sea monster's mouth."  
  
"Friend Ship," Vader noted. "No, none of us are exactly friends."  
  
"Aren't I your friend?" asked Jenny.  
  
Vader eyed the elf girl a moment, then said "In a sense, but I doubt Metria or Luke consider us friends."  
  
Jenny was a friend, Luke decided. The jury was still out on Metria. But he didn't consider Vader a friend. "So that's out. So's Relation Ship."  
  
"You two can ride in it," Metria pointed out.  
  
"Luke has yet to accept the fact that I'm his father," Vader said. "The Partner Ship, perhaps?"  
  
"Luke and Metria are partners, and you and I are partners," Jenny observed. "It may work."  
  
Luke inspected the Partner Ship. "Nope. It's only a two-seater."  
  
"The Comrade Ship?" asked Jenny.  
  
"Comrades are people working together for the same cause," Metria said. "We're fighting against each other for the prize, so we're not comrades."  
  
"The Fellow Ship, then," Luke suggested. "We're a fellowship, like it or not, for we're traveling together for the time being."  
  
Everyone murmured agreement and carefully stepped into the boat. The troll came out of his booth and untied the tether, using his foot to push them down river and on their way.  
  
"Here, someone take an oar," Metria ordered, picking up a gold oar that lay on the bottom of the boat and holding it out.  
  
"I will," Vader volunteered, taking it. "The Players should do the hard work, in my opinion."  
  
"Fine by me," Luke replied, taking the silver oar for himself.  
  
They floated on down the temporary Gap River, using the oars to keep in the middle of the river and away from rocks and other hazards. After a time they passed a heavy ledge on which perched the Gap Dragon, a female of his species, and a tiny (compared to the adults, at least) hatchling. Vader and Jenny paused a moment to wave at the dragons. Luke wondered at that, seeing as the male had tried to kill them, but decided not to ask. He'd have to get Jenny alone later and ask her what had gone on while he'd been incapacitated.  
  
A long green body with an armored back and a long toothy mouth surfaced and glided toward them, licking its chops, eyes agleam.  
  
"An allegory!" shouted Jenny.  
  
"No, that's an allegation," Metria corrected.  
  
"Who cares?" Luke cut in. "All I know is it looks hungry." He raised his oar and struck the creature's back. It hardly noticed the blow.  
  
"Let me," Metria suggested. "Be right back!" She transformed into what must have been a fine female specimen of an allegory (allegation?), with vibrant green scales, a lithesome body, a muscular tail, and a spectacular toothy grin. She splashed into the water and swam away from the boat, winking at the beast as she passed it.  
  
The effect was astounding. The alle-whatever turned on its tail and pursued Metria with a different sort of gleam in its eye. Luke decided not to inquire further.  
  
"Keep on the lookout for a centaur," Jenny told the others.  
  
"Right," Luke replied. "Uh, what's a centaur look like?"  
  
Vader looked ahead, as if trying to make out an object in the distance. "There is something ahead."  
  
"Chem Centaur?" asked Jenny.  
  
"No," Vader replied. "Something dangerous."  
  
The Force confirmed it for Luke, too -- a hazard lay ahead. "I sense it too. Around this bend."  
  
Jenny thought a minute. "There's a tribe of goblins that lives near the Gap. Maybe they're further downstream planning an ambush. Do you want to pull to shore or continue?"  
  
"There's no way we can get to shore in time," Luke pointed out.  
  
The Fellow Ship sailed around the bend. There were no goblins in sight -- but a long stretch of frothing white rapids awaited them.  
  
"Pull in the oars," Vader advised. "There's nothing we can do but ride this out."  
  
The boat bucked and dipped in the churning foam, soaking everyone in spray. Of course, it was still raining, albeit less severely, so the extra moisture made little difference.  
  
"Oh-ooooooohhhhhhhh," moaned Jenny, clinging to the side of the boat. "I'm going to be sick."  
  
"Watch out!" cried Luke.  
  
The current grabbed the Fellow Ship and flung it up against a jut of rock the size of a bantha. The boat tipped alarmingly, nearly spilling the three of them out before righting itself. Sammy was now clinging to Luke's scalp like a bad hairpiece, his fur on end.  
  
"What's all this?" demanded Metria, materializing in the center of the boat. "The minute I leave to do some stork business you all get in trouble again..."  
  
"Get some clothes on!" ordered Vader.  
  
"Okay, you don't have to be such a grouch," she grumbled, clothes appearing on her body.  
  
At that moment the little boat ground to a halt. The bottom splintered apart as the rock the Fellow Ship had beached on punched through the wood. Water gushed in.  
  
"Oh great!" Luke exclaimed. "What else can go wrong?"  
  
As if in answer a hideous fanged head and horny shell broke the surface of the water. The beast chomped the air with a loud SNAP before clawing its way through the rapids toward them.  
  
"Allegation snapping turtle," Jenny noted. "A crossbreed of an allegation and a regular snapping turtle. The normal snapping turtles will snap anyone they see, but an allegation snapping turtle needs a good reason to do so."  
  
"Let's hope it doesn't find one," Luke replied, grabbing an oar to fight the beast if necessary.  
  
Unfortunately, it found reason. "You are intruding on my territory! I'll have to snap you!"  
  
Vader came to the rescue. "This is the Gap Dragon's territory, not yours. And he has permitted us to pass through here."  
  
The turtle thought a moment. "You are Mundanian and have no business in Xanth! I'll have to snap you!"  
  
"We are authorized to be in Xanth so long as we are playing the game," Vader retorted. "And we haven't made an error that would bar us from the game yet."  
  
But the beast was persistent. "You rented a ship from the troll booth and have damaged it! I'll have to snap you!"  
  
Uh-oh. No getting out of that.  
  
"Look!" Metria shouted. "On the shore!"  
  
"Centaurs!" Jenny exclaimed.  
  
Two creatures were galloping down a cliffside trail that was only half a meter above the water line. They had powerful animal bodies, four hooves, swishing tails of hair, and human torsos, heads, and arms emerging from where their necks should have been. One had a chestnut body and brown human hair to match, with a well-proportioned female torso rivaling Metria's. The other was a muscular male with gray hair and a dappled silver body.  
  
"Hellooooooo!" shouted Luke, waving his oar to attract their attention.  
  
The centaurs slid to a halt. Only then did Luke see they were both carrying bows and quivers of arrows. He gulped as the female readied an arrow and aimed at their party. What did he do wrong?  
  
The arrow whistled through the air and bit deep into the side of the boat. A lucky miss! But more would surely follow. He reached for his blast-her (thankfully, it would work against this attacker) before seeing the rope attached to the arrow. Both centaurs pulled the line taut and tied the loose end around a secure boulder.  
  
"Thank you!" shouted Luke. They had just made a safety line for their party. But it was low enough that they would still have to wade through the water to get to shore. That left the turtle to contend with.  
  
"I'll have to snap you!" it snapped, grabbing the side of the Fellow Ship in its claws.  
  
Luke drew his blast-her and pointed it at the turtle. "If you're a female, you'd better back off. This is a blast-her. I'll blast you with it if you try to snap us."  
  
It gave a gurgling laugh. "Nice try, land-lubber! I'm male!" He lunged.  
  
Vader brought his oar down hard on the turtle's head, and he fell back into the water with a snort. But he came back for another attempt. By then, luckily, Luke had had another brainstorm. He flipped open Jenny's pack, dug around, found the sticks of reverse wood, and broke off the end of one. This he jammed into a notch on the weapon where a scope would normally go, and he again brought it to bear.  
  
"I've added reverse wood to this," he warned. "Now it's a blast-HIM! If you snap any of us, I'll blast you!"  
  
The effect was incredible. The turtle paddled away so quickly he almost left his shell behind.  
  
"Hooray, Luke!" Metria cried, embracing Luke.  
  
"Yeah, whatever," he replied, prying out of her arms. "Let's go."  
  
Metria popped to shore, of course, while the others waded slowly through the rapids, clinging to the rope for support. Sammy rode on Vader's shoulder, glaring distastefully at the water. It seemed an age later when they finally reached the shore and were hauled out by the centaurs.  
  
"You travelers are brave to challenge the Gap Chasm unguided," the female noted.  
  
"We do have guides," Vader replied. He nodded his head. "Vader Mundane and my son Luke Mundane, Players in a game. These are my game Companion Jenny Elf, her cat Sammy, and my son's game Companion Demoness Metria."  
  
Luke wanted to protest the "son" part but kept silent.  
  
"I'm Chem Centaur," the female introduced. "This is Chang Centaur, my uncle. And it seems that it was no error that we crossed paths. You see, Chang has been searching all of Xanth for you." 


	10. Chapter 10 Chang Centaur

Part X -- Chang Centaur  
  
Vader, Luke, Metria, and Jenny sat as close to the fire as they dared, steam rising from their clothes as they dried off from their ordeal. Night had fallen rapidly, and it was getting uncomfortably cold. The centaurs didn't seem to mind, but the Players and Companions had spent half the day in a rainstorm and a flash flood and were soaked clear through.  
  
Vader masterfully suppressed a shiver as he edged closer to the flames. His temperature control systems were working at maximum capacity to raise his body temperature, but it took time for them to kick in fully. He would have to be careful -- if he caught a chest cold from this latest challenge, it could very well overwhelm his already weak respiratory system.  
  
His lungs were not his only weak point, though. Back at the river, he had experienced a moment of vulnerability, one that could prove very dangerous down the road. He had allowed himself to feel compassion toward his son. His heart had separated into two factions since then -- part told him to steel himself against another incident, another part pleaded with him to reconsider his intentions to convert Luke.  
  
He felt a slight weight settle over his shoulders. Jenny had walked over and placed a thick blanket around him. He looked over at her, and she smiled gently in return before picking up her cat. She was his Companion, bound by the game to help him, but she still treated him far more kindly than the game required. Kindness was something no one had offered him in many years.  
  
I have to get out of Xanth, and fast, he thought. Ever since coming to this strange land, he'd been slowly but surely allowing Jenny and Luke to bring down his defenses. If he stayed here much longer, they might very well resurrect Anakin Skywalker, and that could prove to be his undoing.  
  
"We were looking for you, Chem," he heard Luke continue, "but we had no idea you were searching for us."  
  
"Why did you seek me?" asked Chem.  
  
"We're laking for Look Eerie," Metria replied.  
  
"Looking for Lake Eerie?" Chem corrected. "That's a long way."  
  
"You know where it is?" asked Jenny.  
  
"Yes," she replied. "I've made it my personal duty to map out as much of Xanth as possible. Lake Eerie is newly discovered territory."  
  
"And why were you searching for us?" asked Vader.  
  
"For my purposes," Chang replied. "You see, a week or so ago, I asked the Good Magician a question, and for my year of service I was assigned to find the Mundane Players and aid them in their quest." He frowned in disappointment. "But I fear the answer wasn't worth the service."  
  
"You too, eh?" Metria noted.  
  
"Don't worry," Jenny told him. "His answers are usually worthwhile in the end."  
  
"What was your question?" asked Luke.  
  
"It's a long story," Chang replied dismissively.  
  
"Go on and tell them," Chem encouraged. To the others she said "Chang is my sire's brother. I have been helping him on his quest."  
  
"Though why is beyond me," Chang added with a sad smile. "I helped cast your father out of Centaur Isle, you know."  
  
"That was years ago," Chem replied. "And besides, our family lives a happy life now."  
  
"Good. Would that mine would be half as happy."  
  
"Tell them, Uncle."  
  
"Very well." He took a deep breath. "At the beginning of Xanth's history, humans came to Xanth from Mundania. They settled the land, and the human children born in Xanth developed magic talents that enabled them to co-exist with this land. But they were rather careless in their ways, and soon some ran afoul of the love springs.  
  
"The concept of a love spring may sound romantic to most Mundanes, but it has led to tragedy as well as comedy and romance. For once you drink from a love spring, you fall instantly and irrevocably in love with the first creature of the opposite sex you see. This meddling with the springs led to the many crossbreeds we see in Xanth -- nagas, merfolk, harpies, werewolves, fauns, cowboys, and centaurs, of course. The first humans were so foolishly free in their breeding that they soon bred themselves out of existence.  
  
"New humans soon arrived from Mundania, and they were more careful. Most humans here are fairly lenient in romantic relations and approve of interspecies marriages. But centaurs have no alternate land brimming with their kind to replenish their numbers like humans do, so our kind forbade crossbreedings altogether. Of course, my niece and other centaurs have flouted tradition and taken on non-centaur lovers, but these are exceptions rather than the rule. Soon this prejudice against crossbreeding spread to magic as well. Beings with talents were considered somehow tainted."  
  
"Luke, wake up!" snapped Metria.  
  
"Huh?" Luke grunted. "I wasn't asleep."  
  
"Maybe if I use my talent, it would make Chang's explanation less dry," Jenny suggested.  
  
"What talent is that?" asked Vader.  
  
"I can draw others into my daydreams by humming," she said. "So as I imagine Chang's story, we'll all see it firsthand."  
  
Vader nodded. Not a major talent by any means, but a useful one. "Go on then."  
  
She began humming a soft tune. The firelight and forest vanished, replaced by an island in the sea at Xanth's southernmost tip. It was here that the bulk of Xanth's centaur population lived, going about their business. They lived fairly peacefully, but though they used Xanth's magic artifacts daily, they had no talents among them. Indeed, those few unlucky enough to be born with a talent were exiled from Centaur Isle, and any attempting to return were killed.  
  
Chang was a much-respected leader in the centaur community, with a fine mate and two colts. As an elder it was his duty to settle quarrels and inspect foals for magic. His sons, thankfully, had no magic. But his brother, Chester, wasn't so lucky. In his adulthood, it was discovered that he possessed a talent, and he and his mate, Cherie, were banished from the island. They would eventually find employ at the house of government in Xanth, Castle Roogna. But that was another story.  
  
Unbeknownst to anyone, even himself, Chang had a talent. It was a subtle one, one so unnoticeable no one could recognize it. It was the talent of honesty -- when invoked, no one could lie to him. He'd used it for years without any knowledge of it, becoming a great leader through its use.  
  
He might have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for Evil Magician Darius.  
  
Few magicians are truly evil, but Darius seemed to fit the part. He came through the main centaur village, wielding a magic sword, calling out for recruits to his cause -- whatever it was, for he wouldn't name it aloud.   
  
But none would approach him for two reasons. One, he was a crossbreed. From the withers up he was a normal centaur, but where equine parts should have been, there was a glistening green-gold dragon body, complete with webbed wings. And two, he possessed the title of Magician.  
  
Chang himself led a squadron of centaur archers that would drive Darius out of Centaur Isle. He ordered Darius to leave or suffer the consequences, for their people would have nothing to do with crossbreeds or magic-wielders.  
  
"Really?" Darius replied, giving Chang an unsettling look. "Interesting. I'll remember that in the future. But for now, let's see you live by your own rules."  
  
And Darius sprang into the air and flew away, but not before Chang suffered a dizzy spell. He wondered who had cast it on him. Was it something relating to Darius' talent?  
  
From that day on, his life came rapidly apart. He discovered that he was no longer able to prevent people from lying to him. This affected his ability to lead the people well, and some began calling for his retirement, claiming his memory was going. And worse, day mares began popping in on him at the most inopportune times.  
  
At last the other elders confronted him, demanding an explanation. Chang underwent a series of tests to determine whether he indeed had a talent -- and failed.  
  
Darius had struck viciously. His talent was altering other people's talents. He had no control over what exactly he would change the talent into, but he could control whether a minor talent became a major talent, a major talent became a minor talent, or any talent became another talent of similar strength. And as an act of vengeance against Chang for being run out of Centaur Isle, Darius had transformed his almost-Magician class talent of honesty to the relatively minor but far more obvious talent of summoning day mares.  
  
Chang's life as he knew it was over. On the spot he was stripped of his elder status, and he was given a supply pack and sent by boat to mainland Xanth as soon as possible. His mate and colts would have nothing more to do with him -- in their minds, he was dead. Worse than dead -- a freak.  
  
Despondent, he tracked down Chester and Cherie and told them what had happened, begging forgiveness for his lack of mercy regarding them. They had every right to hate him, but instead they accepted his apology and suggested he see the Good Magician. Chem accompanied him to the castle, and when he'd received his answer she agreed to help him find the Mundane Players.  
  
"My question was not carefully worded, which may have contributed to my unsatisfactory answer," Chang went on, pausing to take a bite out of an apple. "I asked him how I could accomplish my heart's desire. I knew what that was, of course -- to destroy my talent, return to Centaur Isle, and be reunited with my family. But his answer was vague at best."  
  
"What was your answer?" asked Jenny.  
  
Chang snorted. "He told me I must seek the Chosen One."  
  
Vader nearly choked on the breadfruit he'd been chewing. Surely the Good Magician couldn't mean him! But of course not. He wasn't the Chosen One. Anakin Skywalker was. And he was long dead, or at least buried deep. No, the Magician had to be referring to someone else.  
  
"Who's the Chosen One?" asked Luke.  
  
"He wouldn't say. I'll have to complete this service for him and pass the challenges again to ask another question. But at this rate, I suppose it's my only choice."  
  
"Where is Lake Eerie?" Vader inquired, ending that line of conversation.  
  
Chem glanced to the side, and a map appeared in the air like a hologram. Xanth, it turned out, was a peninsula, tongue-shaped and with the Gap Chasm splitting it into two roughly equal halves. Villages, lakes, mountains, rivers, and various points of interest were also indicated.  
  
"This is where we are," Chem explained, and a star appeared on the map just north of the Gap. "Lake Eerie is in the northeast, above the Ogre-fen Ogre-fen." Said lake was highlighted in blue light in the extreme upper-left-hand corner of Xanth. "If you'd like, I can point out a likely route for you."  
  
"This is a game," Jenny explained. "I don't think we're allowed to have too much help from people not in the game."  
  
Luke had plucked a leaf from a nearby papyrus plant and was copying Chem's map. "We can plot out our own course. Thank you so much, Chem. Your help and your uncle's service will be greatly appreciated."  
  
"You're most welcome," she replied, and she rose and galloped off.  
  
***  
  
"So it's past the Elements again," Vader noted, glancing over the map once a likely route had been decided. "Along the river..."  
  
"With-A-Cookie River," Jenny filled in.  
  
"Then through the Ogre-fen Ogre-fen, and across the Sane Jaunts River. A long journey."  
  
"It's our only choice," Chang remarked.  
  
Luke folded the map and tucked it into Jenny's pack. At last they had some idea as to what they were doing. And they'd acquired Chang Centaur into their party, a being with a logical mind and a talent that... well, he wasn't exactly sure how summoning day mares could benefit their journey, but maybe it could in a way he hadn't considered.  
  
"Chang," he asked, "why doesn't your niece wear a shirt?"  
  
Chang gave him a quizzical look. "Why should she? She is a centaur."  
  
"Isn't it inappropriate for a woman to expose her... attributes?"  
  
"Of course not!" Jenny exclaimed. "As long as she isn't wearing a brassiere, it's fine."  
  
"Um... a brassiere?"  
  
"Yes," Chang replied. "Undergarments are extremely objectionable here."  
  
"Not where I come from," Luke replied. "It's not exactly appropriate to see someone in their underwear, but being nude in public is much worse."  
  
"Mundania is a strange place," Jenny said with a shrug.  
  
Mundania strange? It was all relative, Luke decided. "Well, where I come from, we don't have centaurs. And most women won't throw themselves naked at a man they thought attractive."  
  
"And what's wrong with that?" demanded Metria.  
  
"Just take it from me," Jenny told him. "Nudity isn't a big deal, but keep your undergarments out of sight, or you'll violate the Adult Conspiracy... uh, Lord Vader, are you okay?" she called out.  
  
For an exasperated Vader had gone to the edge of camp and was steadily whacking his head against the trunk of an insani-tree. 


	11. Chapter 11 Wara Werecorn

Part XI -- Wara Werecorn  
  
Everyone was up early the next morning to break camp and prepare for the journey to Lake Eerie. While Vader and Metria dismantled the tents and Jenny and Chang cleaned up the camp, Luke took Sammy ahead to scout out a likely path. Normally travelers in Xanth used enchanted, protected paths for long journeys, but according to Metria the game required them to face Xanth's dangers.  
  
Sammy meowed and pawed the ground. Sure enough, he'd found a trail, starting at the base of a palm tree and curving around the edge of a clear pool. Luke knelt near the shore of the pond. He was pretty thirsty, and a cool drink sounded excellent at the moment.  
  
As he was about to lower his cupped hands into the water, Sammy hissed. His hand went to his blast-her as he looked up to discern the threat.  
  
Something stood on the bank about four meters away, gazing at him with liquid brown eyes. Its body resembled the lower quarters of a centaur, only white as Hoth's glaciers with a silver tail. Where a humanoid body would begin on a centaur, however, was a strong neck and long muzzle with a soft nose and glistening silver mane to match its tail. Curious elven ears pricked forward, and an iridescent spiral horn twisted out from its brow.  
  
His breath caught in his throat. The creature was strikingly beautiful. And as it hadn't attacked, snarled, or given any indication of nervousness or irritation, he assumed it was harmless.  
  
The animal nickered softly, lowered its elegant head toward the pool, and took a long draught.  
  
"Well," Luke noted, "if it's safe for you to drink, it's probably okay for me." He bent down to take a sip.  
  
Sammy yowled.  
  
"Oh, stop it," he told the cat. "It's not going to bite."  
  
The creature watched him carefully, muzzle flecked with moisture. Somehow it seemed twice as beautiful as before. Luke sniffed -- the water smelled all right. No scent of decay or poison.  
  
Sammy growled. Luke saw the animal was approaching, its cloven hooves stepping elegantly through the grass. He marveled at its grace, its color, its expressive eyes. Still watching it, he put his mouth to the pond's surface.  
  
A strong black-gloved hand clamped onto his shoulder and jerked him upright.  
  
"Hey!" he yelped, startled, wrenching free of Vader's grasp.  
  
A wild shriek pierced the air as Metria popped into sight between him and the animal. She had assumed the form of a beast similar to the white one, only Metria was jet-black, built far more powerfully, and had a wicked-looking steel-colored horn. Both creatures reared on their hind legs and screamed, pawing the air, then lashed out with their forehooves, tore with their teeth, and slashed with their horns like lightsabers.  
  
"Metria!" Luke cried. "No! Stop!" He ran forward to stop his Companion and found Vader and Chang gripping his arms, holding him back. Metria couldn't hurt this creature! It was a thing of surpassing loveliness, and it meant them no harm.  
  
"Luke, stay back!" ordered Chang.  
  
"Don't let her hurt it!" he shouted, fighting against the centaur.  
  
"Breathe deeply!" Vader ordered.  
  
"You almost took a drink from a love spring!" Jenny exclaimed. "Don't worry, you should recover in a minute or two. You only got a whiff of the vapor."  
  
After a few deep breaths, Luke felt remarkably clear-headed. Had he really almost fallen in love with an animal? Disaster had been too close! He'd be sure to heed Sammy's warnings in the future.  
  
"What is that?" he asked.  
  
"A unicorn," Jenny replied. "They're quite rare, even in Xanth."  
  
"Then call Metria off of this one," Chang advised.  
  
The two unicorns were still fighting, biting and kicking. Luke drew his blast-her and set it to stun, but Vader was quicker. He thrust out with one hand, palm out, and the white unicorn fell to the ground, dazed but unhurt. Metria backed off and became human again.  
  
"What did you do that for?" she demanded.  
  
"Put some clothes on!" Vader shot back.  
  
"I had it gripped!" she continued, a dress forming over her body.  
  
"Had it what?" demanded Chang.  
  
"Clasped, clutched, under control, satisfactory..."  
  
"Handled," Luke replied.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
The unicorn lifted its head, moaned... and changed into a young woman.  
  
Luke's jaw fell open. "Is she a demon?"  
  
"No, a werecorn," Jenny replied.  
  
"Werecorn?" Vader repeated. "A subspecies of unicorn?"  
  
"Not really. Were-beasts are a kind of crossbreed that can switch from human form to animal at will. Werewolves are the most common, though there have also been werehorses and weredragons, among others. I've never heard of a werecorn before now."  
  
The werecorn, now in human form, lay sobbing in the grass. She wore a long, white, robe-like dress similar to the one Leia had worn on the first Death Star, with a simple silver sash around the waist and a silver metal band around her brow. Her hair was silvery-white and fell almost to her knees, and her deep brown eyes overflowed with tears.  
  
"This could be a problem," Metria noted. "You didn't drink from the spring, Skywriter, but she did."  
  
She was in love with him? He wanted to kick himself. How could he let this happen? Now he was bound to break the poor girl's heart, for while she was by no means unattractive, he just didn't love her in return. And he was Mundanian -- more marks against him. Surely a werecorn wouldn't be welcome outside of Xanth, let alone in the ranks of the Rebellion -- and most certainly not in the Empire.  
  
"Please stop crying," Jenny told the woman, going over to her and putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "What's your name?"  
  
"W-Wara Werecorn," she replied, sitting up and wiping her eyes. She gazed plaintively at Vader. "Oh, why did you have to stop him from drinking?"  
  
"You mean you planned this?" Vader snarled, advancing on her. Now it was Luke's turn to join Chang in restraining him.  
  
"I had no choice!" she wailed. "It was the only way I could get my talent back..." She burst into tears again.  
  
"Perhaps we should talk about this back at camp," Chang suggested gently.  
  
"Camp's been taken down completely," Jenny replied. "We can talk about it on the way."  
  
Wara managed to regain her composure enough to speak. "Where are you going?"  
  
"Lake Eerie," Luke replied.  
  
Her eyes went wide. "No, don't! An evil Magician lives there!"  
  
Vader eyed her suspiciously. "How do you know this?"  
  
"It -- it's a long story..." she began.  
  
Jenny began humming, and as Wara told her tale to the others they were able to visualize the story.  
  
Wara was the child of a human peasant woman named Ava and a unicorn stallion named Ulric. Like most of Xanth's crossbreeds, they had met at a love spring, and the result was a child with the ability to assume the form of either parent. This was quite the complication for both parents. Ava, whose talent was communicating with birds, had wanted to marry a handsome young human man, settle down, and have a family, and few men fancied a woman who already had a child, especially a crossbreed. Ulric, being a unicorn, normally only associated with maidens, so he had cut off all contact with Ava out of necessity after Wara was born. But he still loved the human woman and continued to pine for her.  
  
Wara, meanwhile, felt lost. Life at her mother's village was hard, for she was constantly being teased by the other children for being a crossbreed even when she remained in human form. Among her father's kind, she had to remain in unicorn form to keep from shaming him in the eyes of his herd. An outcast in both worlds, she longed to find a place to truly call home.  
  
One day Wara was washing the family laundry in a spring near their village. It was the only spring for miles, but most villagers had to buy their water from the untrustworthy loan sharks of the Region of Water, seeing as the spring was a bed spring. Any who drank from its water would immediately fall into a deep sleep. Wara's talent, however, was immunity to magic springs, so she didn't have to bargain with the loan sharks just to do the washing.  
  
While at the spring, a strange being approached her. He looked like a centaur, except where an equine body should have been was a dragon body, complete with scales and wings and claws. But his human torso and face were dark and handsome, with dark brown hair and piercing green eyes.  
  
"Good afternoon, young lady," he greeted. "Do you know where the nearest village is?"  
  
"Just down the path," she replied innocently. "Turn left at the chest-nut tree and you'll be there. It's my home village."  
  
"I see. What kind of village?"  
  
"Human mostly. In fact, I'm the only non-human there."  
  
"Oh? You look human to me."  
  
"Actually, I'm a crossbreed." She assumed unicorn form to show him.  
  
He smiled at that, obviously pleased. "A crossbreed like me, I see. Tell me -- is it lonely being the only crossbreed in your village?"  
  
"Very much so. I just wish there was another of my kind."  
  
"Funny you should say that, my dear. I am Magician Darius Dracotaur, leader of a crossbreed village in northern Xanth. Those beings who are unfortunate enough to be born to parents of different species can live in peace there. I don't think we have a werecorn yet, but perhaps you'd feel welcome among us."  
  
So she packed her things, kissed Ava goodbye, said farewell to Ulric, and traveled with Darius to Lake Eerie and his crossbreed village.  
  
At first she felt at home at the lake. It was a refuge for those not welcome among their parents' kinds, for many species didn't approve of crossbreeding. She had thought herself to be weird among humans, but her lineage was tame compared to the harpy-naga, the demon-centaur, the ogre-merman, and the goblin-werewolf, to name a very few. But no one at Lake Eerie treated anyone else differently simply because of their bloodlines. It was a seeming paradise.  
  
But then she began hearing disturbing things from the others. They told of how Darius had done the unthinkable -- he had sold his soul to a demon in exchange for his powerful talent of altering others' talents. And rumor had it that he was amassing an army of crossbreeds to travel south and take Castle Roogna, the seat of power in Xanth.  
  
His plot was terrifying in its simplicity -- he would alter the talents of all his crossbreed followers until they were Magician-class talents, then advance on Castle Roogna. Then he would alter the talents of the royal family, transforming them into minor talents. And as only a Magician could rule Xanth, the current King would be ousted, and he would rule Xanth.  
  
Terrified, Wara tried to sneak out of the village, but Darius caught her. She told him that she wanted nothing to do with his plot and was going to warn King Dor of his intentions.  
  
"My plan will go forward as planned," he replied confidently. "And you won't be messing it up, my young werecorn."  
  
Stars danced around her head. She felt dizzy. He had just changed her talent!  
  
"No!" she cried. "Change it back!"  
  
"That I cannot do, child, unless you do something in return."  
  
She had no desire to help him, but she really did want her talent back. "Anything."  
  
"Find yourself a husband. Species doesn't matter, so long as he's not a werecorn. Then come back to Lake Eerie. Then, and only then, will I restore your talent."  
  
"I've been waiting at this spring for days," Wara said sadly. "When I saw you approach, I knew you couldn't be a werecorn, so I tried to trick you into drinking so you could marry me. And I completely forgot that I was no longer immune to the effects of love springs!"  
  
Luke felt more horrible than ever. "Even if I had taken a drink, things wouldn't have worked out. I'm Mundanian. I'm only staying in Xanth in order to play a game."  
  
She looked about to cry again. "I can't marry a Mundanian! You can't stay in Xanth, and if I go to Mundania I'll just be a plain old horse!"  
  
"Why does Darius want her to get married anyway?" Jenny wondered.  
  
"Because then they'll be able to have a child," Chang replied logically. "A crossbreed child, perhaps a human with the ability to turn into a centaur, or some form not yet seen in Xanth. An addition to his army."  
  
"All Xanth is in danger," Metria said gravely.  
  
"It is clear now who the centaur of our attention is," Vader announced. "Darius. He cannot be allowed to go through with his plot. We must go to Lake Eerie and defeat him."  
  
Wara looked dreamily at Luke. "I will go with you. I fight alongside you."  
  
It was a ragtag army trekking north to Darius' stronghold, Luke thought. One elf girl. One magic cat. One insane demoness. One pariah centaur. One lovesick werecorn. One asthmatic Sith. And one Jedi apprentice. An unlikely party, to say the very least. But hopefully, Force-willing, they would find a way to thwart Darius and find answers to all their problems. 


	12. Chapter 12 Dreamcatcher

Part XII -- Dreamcatcher  
  
Vader wasn't sure which was worse -- the libidinous demoness making a pass on his son every five minutes, or the pining puppy-eyed werecorn gazing adoringly at Luke whenever she thought he wasn't watching. Luke was obviously uncomfortable with the women's attentions, but for now he seemed to be handling the problem by simply ignoring them. But Vader was considering a more direct course of action.  
  
There was little he could do about Metria, of course, her being Luke's Companion. Vader seemed to have a certain control over the demoness, so he was at least able to keep her amorousness in check.  
  
Wara was another story. Never mind that her attraction to Luke was magically induced; she simply raised his hackles in some undefineable way. Maybe it was her connection to Darius. Maybe it was the fact that, though she claimed Darius had altered her talent, she hadn't told them what talent she now possessed. Maybe it was the fact that she had plotted to make Luke fall in love with her and had very nearly succeeded.  
  
Maybe it's the fact that no woman will ever be good enough for your son, a voice in the back of his head nagged.  
  
There was a rustling in the brush, and a large green snake slithered across their path. The group halted to avoid trampling it.  
  
"Is it venomous?" Vader inquired.  
  
"How should I know?" demanded Metria.  
  
"I know her!" Jenny exclaimed. "Hello, Nada!"  
  
The snake raised its head, and a human woman's head replaced the serpent head.  
  
"This is Princess Nada Naga of the naga folk," Jenny introduced. "Nagas are like weresnakes -- they can assume human form, snake form, or naga form, which is a mix of the first two."  
  
"Hello, Players," Nada greeted, nodding. "As no one selected me as a Companion, I am to guide your party to the next challenge. Follow me." She became a snake again and slithered on down the path.  
  
Wara paused, a thoughtful look on her face. "There's a hypnogourd patch ahead."  
  
"How do you know?" asked Chang.  
  
"I just do," she replied.  
  
A small tangle of vines sprouted in the center of the path, bearing several small gourds. Nada assumed naga form and halted near the plant.  
  
"Your friend was correct," she explained. "This is a hypnogourd plant -- and your next challenge."  
  
"Oh boy," Jenny said nervously.  
  
"Hypnogourd?" Vader repeated, nudging a gourd with the toe of his boot.  
  
"They serve as gateways to Xanth's dream realm," Chang replied. "Night mares and day mares can enter and exit them as they please, but with a regular Xanthian it's trickier."  
  
"If you look into the peephole that grows on a gourd, your mind will be transported into the dream realm," Metria explained. "But to everyone outside the gourd, it'll look like you just went into a trance. The only way to escape the dream realm is to have someone else cover the peephole or destroy the factory."  
  
"The what?" asked Wara.  
  
"Manufacturer, assembly line, bush, vegetation..."  
  
"Plant," Nada told her.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"I'll warn you ahead of time," Jenny said, "that the dream realm is a lot stranger than anything we've encountered so far."  
  
Already Vader was loathing the next challenge.  
  
"Each of you take a gourd and look inside," Nada instructed.  
  
"How will we escape the realm?" asked Wara.  
  
"That's up to the Players to figure out," Nada replied.  
  
Vader considered. "Chang, summon a day mare. She can accompany us into the dream realm, then inform Nada when we've finished the challenge so she can release us."  
  
"Very well," Chang replied. "Done."  
  
"It's Day Mare Imbrium!" Wara exclaimed.  
  
"Where?" Luke asked, looking around.  
  
"There," she replied, pointing. Just beside Chang was the vague outline of an equine creature.  
  
"How can you tell it's Equilibrium?" asked Metria.  
  
"Imbrium," Jenny corrected.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"I don't know how," she confessed. "I just know it's her."  
  
"That must be your new talent," Chang replied with a smile. "The ability to identify things of the dream realm."  
  
"All right," Luke murmured, "here goes nothing." He picked up a gourd and rotated it until he found the peephole. He froze, locked in a trance.  
  
Vader selected a gourd, turned it to the side...  
  
Suddenly he was standing in a great field of rippling silver grass, with a dark blue-violet sky overhead and craggy green mountains in the distance. A moment later Metria joined them, then Sammy, Jenny, Wara, Chang, and Imbrium, who appeared as a jet-black horse in the dream realm.  
  
"Sammy, find the challenge," Jenny urged.  
  
The cat loped off, and everyone followed.  
  
If Vader had thought Xanth to be the product of a spice addict's imagination, the dream realm was the creation of a deranged surrealist's mind. Fish swam through the sky over their heads. Twisted, leafless black trees uttered haunting song-like cries. Smoke danced and swirled in eddies and rivers around them, carrying scents of perfume one moment, decay the next, and still another moment metallic odors. The ground beneath their feet became solid rock, then spongy mud, then sand, then iron, the grass changing colors from silver to violet to crimson.  
  
"What's that?" asked Luke, approaching what appeared to be a primitive well.  
  
"That's the Well Ee-nuph," Wara told him with a dreamy smile. "Don't touch it."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Sometimes," Vader quipped, "it's best to let Well Ee-nuph alone."  
  
Luke stared at him a moment, then they both began laughing.  
  
"I thought you hated puns," chuckled Luke.  
  
"I am learning to tolerate them," Vader replied amusedly.  
  
"There's a patch of Coulda Beans ahead," cautioned Wara.  
  
"Lord Vader, watch your step!" Jenny shouted.  
  
But in the time it took Vader to process the command, he'd stepped right in the middle of the bean patch.  
  
Then he was suddenly no longer in Xanth's dream realm, but in a cluttered teenager's bedroom, tucking a young, embarrassed-looking Luke into bed...  
  
Then he was standing amidst the rubble of a ruined lake retreat on Naboo, watching a dazed Luke pick up a shattered crest...  
  
Then he was at the controls of an antique wheeled vehicle, tearing down a city street, an unfamiliar female voice screaming for him to "keep your freakin' eyes on the road..."  
  
Then he was addressing a trio of robed teenagers -- a boy with glasses and a scarred forehead, a girl with bushy brown hair, and a freckled red-headed boy...  
  
Then he was astride a huge bronze dragon, flames billowing from the creature's mouth as they soared over an extinct volcano...  
  
Then he was back in the realm of the gourd, somewhat unnerved by the experience. Shaking his head, he moved on.  
  
Sammy stopped. They had come to a great hedge of thorns, broken only by a circular gate of sorts that was ringed with weavings like spiderwebs. Was this the challenge, or merely an obstacle on the way to it?  
  
"Wara?" he inquired. The unicorn girl was actually serving a purpose.  
  
"It's a dreamcatcher," she replied.  
  
"What's a dreamcatcher?" asked Luke.  
  
She smiled lovingly at him. "I wish I knew. I suppose my new talent lets me identify things of the dream realm, but not explain them."  
  
[The dreamcatcher is your challenge.]  
  
Vader glanced around, alarmed. Who had said that?  
  
"Relax, Lord Vader," Jenny told him, placing a hand on his arm. "That's Mare Imbrium talking."  
  
"What's a dreamcatcher, Imbrium?" inquired Chang. "Centaurs are a learned species, but we know nothing of the dreamcatcher."  
  
[The centaur studies rarely focus on the dealings of the dream realm] said Imbrium, swishing her tail. [Long ago, certain sects of Mundanians were closer to Xanth and the ways of magic than they are now, and some still hold on to bits and pieces of magic. One sect, known now as Native Americans, learned of the dreamcatcher and recreated it on a regular basis, though theirs were not imbued with magic. Their version of the dreamcatcher is a hoop decorated with string, beads, feathers, and other objects. They believe it catches bad dreams and allows the good dreams to reach the sleeper.]  
  
"Who cares about Mundania?" humphed Metria. "What's this one gonna do to us?"  
  
[In Xanth, a dreamcatcher is a portal, a means of entering your own dreams. Not daydreams or sleeping dreams, but the truest and deepest desires of your heart.]  
  
"Suddenly I'm afraid," Luke murmured.  
  
"It can't be that bad," Jenny replied optimistically. "Tell you all what. I'll go first. Then we can see what this challenge is all about."  
  
Vader wasn't sure about letting his Companion risk herself needlessly. But she had a point. Someone had to be the first to go through. "Lead the way."  
  
Jenny and Sammy walked up to the dreamcatcher and stepped through.   
  
At first, nothing seemed to happen. Everyone watched in nervous anticipation as Jenny looked back at them anxiously, then took a few more steps. Then she stopped, a wondering expression on her face.  
  
Someone was approaching her -- an elf. A young-adult male elf, apparently one of Jenny's kind, enormously good-looking with a gentle smile and sparkling eyes. Jenny stared at him, then started to laugh joyously. The elf man chuckled and embraced her, literally sweeping her off her feet. Their happy laughter echoed through the air...  
  
The scene blanked out. Jenny was standing back on their side of the dreamcatcher, a horrified expression on her face.  
  
"No! Come back!" she cried, tears streaming down her face. "Don't go!"  
  
"Jenny," Chang told her softly. "It was just an illusion."  
  
"I know... but..." She whirled and buried her face in Vader's side, crying.  
  
Vader's first instinct was to push the elf girl away. But she was in great pain, a feeling he knew all too well. How could he deny her even the smallest comfort? He gently placed a hand on her back in an awkward attempt to console her. She was his Companion, after all. She had done so much for him. The least he could do in return was drop his guard a little.  
  
"What happened?" Luke asked, staring at the dreamcatcher as if it would turn into a dragon and charge them.  
  
"I... I thought he was real," she choked. "One of... my kind."  
  
"That's right," Vader realized. "At the beginning of the game, your Player description stated that Xanth is not your native world. You are an elf of the World of Two Moons."  
  
She nodded. "Sammy and I got lost in Xanth a long time ago. His magic will let him find anything except our homeworld. No one here knew how to get me back home, so I was stuck. I learned how to survive here, what could help or harm, and I've grown to love it here." She wiped her eyes with the back of one hand. "But I miss my family. And I wish there was a boy of my kind here."  
  
"Aren't you a little young to..." began Luke.  
  
"In reality, I know about the Adult Conspiracy," she told him. "Only in the game am I subject to it."  
  
"What if you gave Sammy reverse wood?" suggested Wara. "Then he could locate the World of Two Moons."  
  
"I tried that, but it only mixed him up. He couldn't find anything."  
  
"Why not consult the Good Magician?" asked Chang.  
  
"I asked him once, but he told me I had a destiny to fulfill in Xanth," she replied.  
  
"Then for now," Vader stated, "all you can do is accept the fact that you may not see your homeworld or another elf of your kind for a long time."  
  
She sighed. "I guess you're right. I do like it here. And with Sammy around, I'm never really lonely. Besides, I have new friends now." She smiled at Luke and Vader.  
  
"This is all touching," Metria grumbled, "but we still have the dreamfetcher to deal with."  
  
[Dreamcatcher] Imbrium corrected.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Jenny took a deep breath, then walked through the portal a second time.  
  
A wolf padded up to Jenny, sniffing her palm before nuzzling her hand for a pat. She smiled and scratched it behind the ears. Abruptly it barked and stood on its hind legs, and in an instant it became a human man. He grinned broadly and took Jenny in his arms in a tender embrace. She smiled and returned the hug, and they walked away, arms around each other's waists.  
  
The image winked out, and Jenny was standing alone beyond the dreamcatcher, an exultant expression on her face.  
  
"I'm through!" she shouted. "I made it!"  
  
"What was that second image?" asked Vader.  
  
"What second image?" she protested.  
  
[Do not speak to her of it] came Imbrium's stern warning. [She knows not of it because she was not permitted to see it. It speaks of her future. She will discover it in due course.]  
  
So instead Vader mused, "That must be the key to solving the challenge. You must come to terms with your heart's desire and accept that, for now, it is a dream before you can move on to receive your future."  
  
Chang stepped up to the dreamcatcher and ducked through. Everyone waited for his dream to manifest itself, but it never came.  
  
"Do you not have a heart's desire?" asked Jenny.  
  
"Of course I do," he replied. "To be rid of my magic and return to my brethren in Centaur Isle."  
  
[He is not a Player or a Companion] Imbrium explained. [The game's programming will not allow a bystander to the game to directly face a challenge. Chang and Wara will not be made to face the dreamcatcher.]  
  
"Go on through, Wara," Luke urged, putting a hand on her shoulder to ease her along. She looked thrilled at the contact and obeyed instantly.  
  
"Don't lead her along, Skyshredder," Metria hissed.  
  
"I'm not," he shot back.  
  
"She's Xanthian. You're Mundanian. It's not gonna work out."  
  
"I know, Metria."  
  
"Then canal her the first chance you get."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Creek, channel, brook, lose, dump, break up..."  
  
"Ditch?"  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"She's helping us with the mission, Metria. I can't dump her now."  
  
"You two shut up," Vader ordered. "We need to decide which of us is going next."  
  
"I'll go," Luke volunteered, and he passed through the dreamcatcher.  
  
The moment he was through, something odd happened. His face seemed to shed a few years in an instant, and every second afterward he became younger and younger. The process halted when he reached the age of five, leaving a bewildered child in place of the adult Jedi trainee. The Luke-child looked around as if searching for something, his disorderly blond hair flapping about with each motion. His gaze rested on two figures who seemed to appear out of thin air nearby. With a delighted cry he ran to meet them.  
  
Vader's pacemaker seemed to malfunction for a moment. The couple were exact replicas of Padme and an unmasked Anakin.  
  
The proud parents embraced Luke, and Anakin grabbed him and tossed him into the air, Luke squealing with laughter all the while...  
  
Suddenly Luke materialized on their side of the dreamcatcher, adult again and quite shocked.  
  
"Oh Luke, are you all right?" cried Wara plaintively.  
  
He was too stunned to do anything but whisper. "I was with my father... my father..."  
  
"Your heart's desire," Metria noted. "To be with your parents again."  
  
Vader realized that this would be the perfect opportunity to encourage Luke to join him. He could offer him the chance to be with his father again, to live out his heart's desire. And with Luke's guard shattered by his experience in the dreamcatcher, he would be much more likely to accept the offer.  
  
But he kept silent.  
  
"I never knew my parents," Luke murmured. "My aunt and uncle raised me. I loved them, but I always wanted to meet my father. Uncle Owen told me he was a navigator on a spice freighter. Obi-wan told me he was a great Jedi Knight." He stared sullenly into the blood-red grass. "When I fought Vader on Bespin, it destroyed all I'd been led to believe. I want to know who my father really is, what I can truly believe in."  
  
Your father is a Dark Lord, Vader thought. Accept it. There is no changing it.  
  
"Why don't you ask black-britches?" asked Metria, indicating Vader.  
  
"How can I be sure he's being truthful?" Luke replied.  
  
"Regardless of who your sire is," Chang pointed out, "there is a great difference between a father and a parent."  
  
Luke stared at the centaur. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Use logic, boy. Who raised you? Who fed and clothed you, educated you, protected you? The man who begot you may have been Lord Vader, or he may have been another man. But the man who raised you... there is no question as to his identity."  
  
"Uncle Owen," Luke realized. "Yes. I suppose he was a father of sorts to me."  
  
"And you may still have questions regarding your biological parents," Chang went on. "But for now, accept that your adoptive caretakers are as close as you'll come."  
  
Luke nodded gravely. He strode toward the dreamcatcher and passed through.  
  
The scenery on the opposite side of the portal became desert, and Luke's gray Rebel jumpsuit became black Jedi robes. He knelt before a trio of familiar-looking grave markers -- the ones that existed just outside the Lars homestead, one belonging to Vader's mother. But a fourth marker had been erected, dedicated to Owen and Beru Lars. Luke bowed gently before the headstone, then stood, took a lightsaber from his belt, saluted, and slowly walked away.  
  
The scene vanished, showing Wara, Chang, Jenny, and Luke standing together beyond the dreamcatcher.  
  
"Who's next?" asked Luke.  
  
"Your turn, iron man," Metria told Vader.  
  
Vader braced himself. He walked forward and passed through the portal. There was a slight resistance, as if he'd just broken through a force field.  
  
A warning alarm, audible only to him, blared from his life-support systems. His respirator was malfunctioning! Sithspawn! Of all times to develop a glitch in his hardware! But before he could respond to the alarm, he felt first one system shut down, then another. His armor, normally his link to life, was betraying him.  
  
But strangely, he didn't feel as if he was dying. Truth be told, he'd never felt better.  
  
Dazed, he raised his right hand and slowly, wonderingly, pulled off the glove. His arm had been restored, a flesh-and-blood limb replacing the cursed cybernetic replica. He flexed the fingers, reveling in the sensations of muscles and tendons tugging against bone, of cool air against his skin, of his pulse drumming gently through veins in his wrist.  
  
His heart... it beat naturally, unregulated by machinery. His lungs inflated and deflated without aid. His legs were no longer pillars of circuits and metal struts, but muscle and bone. He was a droid-man no longer, but had been restored by powers beyond comprehension.  
  
Perhaps, as his mask was no longer necessary, he could be rid of it once and for all. He reached for the tiny, nearly invisible clasps at the base of his neck...  
  
The transition back to reality was cruelly abrupt. His armor seized control of his body again. He was back with Metria in Xanth's dream realm, once again a cyborg.  
  
"No!" he screamed, not wanting the illusion to end.  
  
"What was that?" asked Jenny. "I couldn't tell..."  
  
"He was able to breathe on his own," Luke observed. "He didn't need the mask."  
  
"That's your heart's desire?" Metria said in disbelief.  
  
Vader clenched both fists tightly. Tears streamed beneath his helmet. He might as well tell them. They'd seen enough that they should know the rest.  
  
"You don't know what it's like," he snarled, "to look at the world through a mask, knowing you can never remove it. To never know the touch of another's hand, or feel the breeze in your face, or breathe deeply and freely without the aid of a machine. To be forever... a droid. A machine-man. A freak."  
  
Chang pawed the ground with his forehooves. "The freak part of that I know very well."  
  
"And I," Wara added.  
  
"Perhaps, one day, you can be healed completely," Luke suggested. "Health technology is always improving. But for now..."  
  
Vader knew the answer. He could only accept his fate as a cyborg. How deeply that cut! But it was his only choice. Again he attempted to brave the dreamcatcher.  
  
The others' eyes were wide as he emerged from the opposite side of the dreamcatcher. What had they seen? It was no use asking. Imbrium had sworn them all to silence.  
  
"Metria?" asked Jenny. "You coming?"  
  
"Demons don't dream," Metria replied.  
  
"Of course they do," Luke countered.  
  
"We don't dream because we don't sleep," she told him. "We simply go into stasis for a time every so often. It works for us."  
  
"But you must have a heart's desire," said Luke.  
  
"Sure," she replied. "To get this dumb game over with so I can go back to stirring up mischief and flashing my panties to any male I fancy."  
  
Luke rolled his eyes. "Sorry I asked."  
  
"Then go through the dreamcatcher so we can move on," Vader ordered.  
  
She snorted and marched through.  
  
A youthful giggle halted her in her tracks. A young child had appeared in a swirl of smoke next to her, grinning lovingly. Metria's eyes sparkled, and she squatted and embraced the toddler, smiling herself. There was such tenderness in her expression, such warmth, that Vader wondered if he was viewing the same demoness that had accompanied them this far.  
  
Then the scene ended, leaving Metria on the side of the portal opposite the others.  
  
"What the !!!! was that?" she shrieked, turning the grass around her a lurid shade of pink and startling three angelfish out of the sky. They were unused to such words, coming from a far loftier plane than Metria's term had suggested.  
  
"Your heart's desire," Wara marveled. "It's to have a child."  
  
"Nuh-UH!" she protested. "Who wants a brat?"  
  
"Evidently you do," Vader remarked.  
  
"But I don't!" she countered. "I'm a soulless demon. How can I love a child? It's impossible!"  
  
"Then that's your desire," Chang pointed out. "To obtain a soul so you are capable of loving your offspring."  
  
"But -- but -- but I don't want a soul!" she sputtered. "That would ruin all my fun! I wouldn't be able to make mischief and summon the stork at random anymore!"  
  
"Sometimes we have to make sacrifices to achieve our heart's desires," Luke told her, and his tone suggested that he knew that from experience.  
  
"All right, all right, all right!" Metria screamed, stamping her foot like a two-year-old. "So I've always wanted to know what it's like to cuddle a baby, to love someone, to feel joy and pain and emotion! Demon's don't know that stuff! The only emotions we know are boredom and the brief sense of satisfaction we get from a prank gone right or a stork-summoning session! What am I missing? Why do you mortals have it so good? And I'll never know, because who wants to share their soul with a... a stupid lusty speech-impeded demoness?!" She ended the sentence with a snort, her nose and mouth briefly assuming the shape of a pig's snout.  
  
"Calm down, Metria," Luke urged.  
  
"Why?" she demanded.  
  
"Maybe someday you'll find someone willing to give you half of their soul," Jenny suggested. "But for now, you'll just have to accept being a regular demon."  
  
"I don't wanna accept it," she pouted.  
  
"You have no choice," Vader replied.  
  
With a weary sigh she flounced through the dreamcatcher a second time.  
  
A new scene appeared in the portal. It showed Metria and a human man kneeling and clasping hands over an altar in a foreboding-looking castle. A fearsome demon ("That's Grossclout," Jenny whispered) appeared to be officiating while a winged goblin girl, an elf, and a human man looked on. Vader could make no sense of the image.  
  
Then Metria joined the others on the other side of the dreamcatcher.  
  
"So what'd I miss?" she inquired.  
  
"We can't tell you," Luke replied.  
  
"Curses."  
  
There was a jolt, and they all found themselves back in Xanth's material realm. Compared to what they had just seen in the gourd, it seemed almost normal. Imbrium's hazy outline stood nearby. Nada, who had curled her serpentine body around the hypnogourd plant to break their trances, smiled.  
  
"You'll find a game-approved campsite just past the geome-tree grove," she told them. "Congratulations. You passed the challenge."  
  
"Bye, Imbrium!" Wara exclaimed, waving, as the day mare galloped off.  
  
"Are you sure you can't tell me what you saw the second time I went through?" begged Metria.  
  
"We are sure, Metria," Vader replied firmly.  
  
"Why are you such a grouch?" she demanded. "Did you leave your sense of fun back in Mundania or what?"  
  
"Shut up," he snapped. 


	13. Chapter 13 Campsite

Part XIII -- Campsite  
  
"Problem," Luke announced, poking his head out of the tarp-pit.  
  
"What now?" asked Vader.  
  
He tossed a pile of folded tarps up. "There are only enough supplies here to make three tents. The game provided for us Players and our Companions, but didn't count on us picking up Chang and Wara."  
  
"Centaurs are used to sleeping out in the open," Chang replied.  
  
"What about Wara?" asked Jenny. "The tents the game provides are only big enough for one person."  
  
"I suppose sharing is out, then," Wara said dejectedly, looking dreamily Luke's way. "I can always stay in unicorn form and sleep standing up outside."  
  
"No need," Vader volunteered. "I will sleep beneath the stars tonight."  
  
No one objected. Luke amused himself privately by modifying a popular joke -- where does a Dark Lord of the Sith sleep? Anywhere he wants.  
  
"And where are you going?" Metria demanded as Vader strode away.  
  
"For a walk," he replied calmly, disappearing into the trees.  
  
Metria became very thoughtful, a bad sign. "I'm going to flout the area for monsters."  
  
"What the area?" asked Chang.  
  
"Disregard, ignore, inspect, patrol..."  
  
"Scout," Jenny provided.  
  
"Whatever." She popped out.  
  
"Does she always speak like that?" asked Chang.  
  
"As long as I've known her," Luke replied.  
  
When he climbed out of the tarp-pit, he saw that some sort of sticky black residue had gotten on his hands and jumpsuit. He'd better scrub off. There was a river nearby. But after his close call this morning at the love spring, he'd best make sure it was safe. What if it turned out to be a stream of consciousness or a cripple creek?  
  
"Jenny, can I borrow Sammy?" he asked.  
  
"Go ahead," she offered.  
  
"Sammy, find the nearest unenchanted body of water."  
  
The cat bolted, and Luke followed him to the bank of the river. Once he was certain the water was safe, he stripped off his jumpsuit and jumped in. Sammy hissed in annoyance as Luke's splash soaked him, and he dashed off to find his mistress.  
  
The water was pleasantly cool, and after washing off he took a moment to simply relax and enjoy a moment of serenity...  
  
"Luke?"  
  
His eyes shot open, and he saw Wara several meters downstream, also bathing.  
  
"Wara!" he exclaimed.  
  
"Sorry," she apologized. "I didn't see you here." But her admiring eyes wandering over his chest and torso suggested she wasn't altogether displeased with the situation.  
  
"Um, Wara? I... don't think we should be here together... ah..."  
  
"Why not? We're both of age. And I'm not wearing panties." She moved toward him. "And you're quite handsome."  
  
"Wara, listen..."  
  
"But I love you. And no one's watching." She reached out to embrace him.  
  
He put his hands on her shoulders to keep her at arm's length. "Wara, look. You're beautiful. Make no mistake about it. But I can't summon the stork with a woman I don't love. It's not what I believe in."  
  
She stared at him. "You don't love me? But you just said I'm beautiful!"  
  
"There's more to it than that. Maybe not all of Mundania believes it, but I believe a man and a woman get together and have children because they love each other. I know you love me, but I don't love you in return. I'm sorry, but that's how it is."  
  
Tears came to her eyes. "I still love you, Luke, but I hate your father! If he hadn't stopped you from drinking from the love spring, I wouldn't be in this mess!" She scrambled out of the river and ran away, sobbing.  
  
"Good one, Skywalker," Luke mumbled sarcastically as he dried off and dressed. "You have such a way with women. It's a good sign when they run off crying."  
  
Jenny was the only one at camp when he got back. She was tending the fire and nibbling on a handful of long, skinny berries. Luke sat next to her with an exasperated sigh.  
  
"Strawberry?" she offered.  
  
"Nah."  
  
"Then something else?" She gestured at a pile of foodstuffs she'd gathered from various trees and bushes.  
  
"Not hungry."  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing. Just broke Wara's heart, that's all."  
  
She smiled apologetically. "When love springs are involved, heartbreak is inevitable."  
  
They were silent a moment. At length Luke picked up an apple pie and chewed absently.  
  
"Jenny," he said at last, "when Vader chose you as his Companion, what was your first reaction?"  
  
"He was pretty frightening at first sight," she admitted. "I thought he was a demon before I remembered there are no demons in Mundania. But after he saved me and Sammy from the wormhole, I realized he wasn't dangerous."  
  
"He saved you?"  
  
"Uh-huh." Sammy rubbed up against her leg, and she scratched him under the chin. "That's how he was able to suspend his disbelief in Xanth. He believed I was real."  
  
Luke wondered if he should ask Jenny about the river incident. Now seemed as good a time as any.  
  
"What happened at the Gap while I was out?"  
  
She licked her lips somewhat nervously. "It's hard for me to say it. I broke the Adult Conspiracy."  
  
"You did it to save my life. I think it's understandable."  
  
"Well... I don't know exactly what happened to you and the others after the wave hit us. The first thing I remember was the Gap Dragon pulling me out and taking me to the ledge where you and you fa -- you and Lord Vader were. He looked very upset."  
  
Of course the Dark Lord had been upset. He'd been looking forward to turning Luke to the dark side. His death would have put a stop to those plans.  
  
"He was kneeling beside you with his face on your chest, just holding you. It looked like he was crying."  
  
Luke glanced up in shock. Crying?  
  
"When I got to the ledge, he seemed to realize you were still alive. He started yelling, ordering me to kiss you back to life. When I reminded him about the Adult Conspiracy, he got angry with me and told me I was your only hope. He looked over my shoulder the whole time I was reviving you." She frowned. "Then he acted like he didn't even care. It was weird."  
  
Luke stared into the fire. This was disturbing news. If Jenny was telling the truth... then Vader must truly be his father.  
  
But what of all he'd been taught? Hadn't Vader betrayed and murdered his father? Was Anakin Skywalker an invention of Obi-wan? No, pre-Empire records salvaged by the Alliance proved his existence.  
  
Then it hit him.  
  
"Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader are one and the same."  
  
"What?" Jenny asked.  
  
"I had a good friend named Obi-wan Kenobi," Luke explained. "He told me he had two students, Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader. According to him, Vader betrayed and murdered my father. For years I believed my father was once a Jedi Knight. Then a few weeks ago I met Vader on a planet called Bespin. We fought... and I lost my hand."  
  
She looked at his arms. "But you still have two hands."  
  
He rolled back his sleeve to expose the metallic band where the bionic components of his synthetic hand met flesh.  
  
"Wow!" she marveled, taking his hand in hers and inspecting it carefully. "I had no idea Mundanian machines were this good!"  
  
"Don't let that fool you," Luke cautioned. "It was still traumatic losing it. But even worse than that was learning that Obi-wan had lied to me, that Vader was my father. All I had believed to be truth was shattered. I didn't know who to believe." He stuffed the last bite of pie crust into his mouth, chewed, and swallowed. "But maybe Obi-wan wasn't lying after all. Maybe my father is Anakin Skywalker -- AND Darth Vader."  
  
"So you've settled it," Jenny said happily. "Do you feel better now?"  
  
"Not really," Luke confessed. "I'm still confused. If he's Anakin and Vader, why did he become evil? What happened that made him go to the dark side? And who is my mother? Vader said she died. But that can't be all to her story."  
  
Jenny smiled. "Talk to him."  
  
He looked at her as if she'd just suggested he go jump headlong into the Gap Chasm.  
  
"Don't worry," she said with a laugh. "He's not as mean as he wants everyone to believe. Trust me."  
  
He shrugged. "All right, I'll give it a shot." He wiped his hands off on his legs and stood. "What have I got to lose?"  
  
"Good!" she cheered. "Are you going to track him down now? Sammy can help you."  
  
"Nah. I'll find him and talk to him in the morning."  
  
***  
  
Vader seated himself on a log on the bank of the river, watching the waters slip by. The log was etched with writing as if someone had used it as a journal -- a captain's log -- and the plants bordering the river bore baked sweets instead of flowers or fruit -- hence its name, the With-A-Cookie River. Such sights failed to make any sort of impression on him, however. After spending three days in Xanth and seeing bizarre sight after bizarre sight, he was pretty much jaded against any more unusual occurrences.  
  
Such as the one approaching right now.  
  
"You look like you could use some pleasure, iron man."  
  
A sultry woman stepped out of the brush, dressed from neck to foot in black leather that fit her body like a glove. An elegant black cloak trailed behind her, and a black steel mask concealed her features. She seated herself on the log beside him and gazed at him expectantly.  
  
He chuckled. "Nice try, Metria."  
  
"Curses," she grumped, assuming her usual form. "Foiled again."  
  
"Why are you here?"  
  
"Apart from seeing if you were up to summoning the stork, I was hoping to squeeze a few derails out of you."  
  
"A few what?"  
  
"Upsets, disasters, facts, trivia..."  
  
"Details."  
  
"Whatever. Will you tell me what happened the second time I went through the dreamcatcher?"  
  
"That all depends. Will you tell me what you saw the second time I went through the dreamcatcher?"  
  
She huffed. "We saw a glowing man. That's it. Don't even know who he was or why he showed up. Demon's honor."  
  
Vader thought on that a moment. That could mean a number of things. Perhaps they had seen a fully healed version of himself. Or they had seen his ghost, meaning he would never again have a complete physical body. Or perhaps they had seen the ghost of a Jedi, meaning he had to renounce the dark side to be rid of the mask and armor. He wasn't sure.  
  
"Well?" Metria demanded.  
  
"Well what?"  
  
"Aren't you going to tell me about my second trip through the portal?"  
  
"Why should I?"  
  
"You said if I told you about yours, you'd tell me about mine."  
  
"I never said that. You only assumed it."  
  
She hissed something that turned a nearby shoe tree into ash. "You're such a pain."  
  
"Look who's talking."  
  
"Oh-ho, someone's in a bad mood."  
  
"You would be too, if you were thrust into a bizarre alternate reality without warning. The past few days have been a living hell for me. And frankly, I don't care to spend another day in Xanth. I simply want to complete the game and leave."  
  
"Sounds like you could use a break." Her dress vanished. "Why don't you relax and take a moment to enjoy yourself?"  
  
He hardly glanced at her. "Not interested."  
  
"What's your problem?" she grumped, her dress reappearing. "At least your son acts halfway interested in my body. You, on the other hand, don't even care!"  
  
"I'd meant to inquire about that. Why is it that you have such an effect on Luke yet don't even faze me?"  
  
"Complaining about it, are we?"  
  
"No. Simply curious."  
  
She quirked her mouth to one side as she considered. "Could be that you're not the type who likes females."  
  
He glared at her. "I have a son, Metria."  
  
"Okay, so that's out. Could be that you're no longer capable of summoning the stork."  
  
He continued to glare. "Don't go there."  
  
"Fine. Maybe it's a game thing. After all, I'm not..."  
  
"Not my Companion," Vader finished. "You've said that many times. But the goblins certainly seemed interested in you that first day, and they weren't even playing the game."  
  
She thought some more, a task she probably didn't perform often. "Sometimes," she mused, "when a man loves a woman -- truly and deeply, of his own free will and not via love spring -- and that love continues to burn in him, it will grant him a measure of immunity against the natural wiles of a demoness or other attractive female."  
  
That wasn't what he had hoped to hear.  
  
"My guess is that Skycropper hasn't fallen in love with anyone yet. But I'd never guessed you to be the romantic sort."  
  
He stared into the river, lost in his own emotions. No, he'd never been the romantic sort. He had been blunt about his feelings regarding the woman he loved, stating them in honest -- if laughably uneloquent -- terms to both her and Obi-wan. And there had been little time for romance after their wedding, what with the Clone Wars, the disintegration of the Republic... and his conversion.  
  
"Ah, so there IS a woman in your life!" Metria crowed, becoming a rooster for a moment. "So who commands the affections of Crater?"  
  
"Vader."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Her name is... was... Padme." His voice dropped to a whisper. "She died many years ago."  
  
"Oh," she replied soberly. Despite being mischievous and emotionless, she knew where her limits were. "But you still love her."  
  
"Yes," he admitted. "Though for a long time I have tried to deny it." He looked up into the alien nightscape. "When I became a Sith Lord, I tried to forget her. Stars, how I tried! I must have done an adequate job of hiding the memory of her, for my master would have destroyed me had he sensed I retained such emotions. Love and compassion are weaknesses in a Sith."  
  
"And a demon," Metria added. "Go on."  
  
"When I learned I had a son, I was determined to find him. I hoped to bring him to the dark side, an ally to our cause. What I didn't expect was for him to reawaken memories of his mother. There are painful memories among the joyous ones -- agonizingly painful. Perhaps that's why I tried to destroy him in our first encounter on the planet of Bespin. By killing him, I would cut off those recollections at the source."  
  
"Judging by your bawlfest back at the river, I'd say you were never too keen on getting rid of Padme's melody."  
  
"Her what?"  
  
"Tune, song, jingle, reminiscence, thought, flashback..."  
  
"Memory."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"I hadn't expected the threat of losing Luke to affect me so. But he's all I have left of Padme. I don't want to lose him again. And the only way I can keep him is by converting him to the dark side. My master will kill him if he refuses to join our cause."  
  
Metria grimaced. "Your master sounds worse than the demon leader Grossclout."  
  
"I've never met Grossclout. But I'll take your word for it."  
  
"Does Luke know how you feel?"  
  
He snorted. "I doubt he even knows I'm capable of emotion."  
  
"Then talk to him," she encouraged.  
  
Vader curled his lip. "Do you not think he hates me enough already?"  
  
"Trust me on this," Metria replied. "I may not know much about mortal affairs, but I know he should know these things."  
  
"Very well." He stood. "I've nothing left to lose."  
  
***  
  
Chang picked his way through the forest, Wara's clothes bundled up beneath his arm. Just a few minutes ago he'd seen her bolt through the forest, obviously distraught and without a stitch of clothing on. Not that nudity was as big a deal in Xanth as it obviously was in Mundania, but if a male demon or party of goblins spotted Wara's body, she could be in great danger.  
  
Whatever had happened to make her so upset? Had that Mundanian boy shunned her? True, he didn't love her, but he could have been more kind about it. She couldn't help that she loved him.  
  
Wara lay sobbing in a thicket of blueberries. Chang approached and offered her the bundle.  
  
"You left your clothing at the river," he explained.  
  
"Oh." She paused in her sorrow long enough to accept her dress. "Thank you. Please don't look."  
  
"Of course." He turned his back. Most human-stock breeds didn't appreciate someone else catching a glimpse of their panties.  
  
"I'm done," she said at last.  
  
"Come out of there," he urged, turning around. "The blueberry bushes are only making you more depressed."  
  
"What's there to be happy about?" she moaned. "The man I love doesn't love me back."  
  
"A difficult situation, I know. But wallowing in the blues won't help."  
  
She stepped out of the thicket and seemed to brighten a bit. "I've never seen a pure-bred centaur before. Don't they mostly live in Centaur Isle?"  
  
He winced. "I do not. I have a magic talent and was cast out some weeks ago. My mate and sons will have no more to do with me."  
  
Her hands flew to her mouth. "I'm so sorry. You have as much reason to be upset as I do."  
  
"Indeed. We both have people we love who want nothing to do with us."  
  
"And we're both outcasts. You a magic centaur, I a werecorn. There's no place for us in Xanth."  
  
"You know," he mused, "wouldn't it be something if we could create a place where all beings may live in peace? A refuge for all -- crossbreeds, magic-users, Mundanians, anyone. No one would be turned away, no matter how strange they were."  
  
"That would be wonderful!" exclaimed Wara. "A paradise for outcasts."  
  
"And not some mockery like Darius' village at Lake Eerie. Domination won't be the goal, but tolerance. We would encourage peace between all..."  
  
"We?"  
  
He stopped talking, suddenly embarrassed. "Sorry. Just got carried away."  
  
She smiled. "You know, maybe your heart's desire has changed."  
  
"Maybe it has," he admitted reluctantly. "Maybe it has." He decided to change the subject. "You know, you're a very attractive woman. If you could somehow combine your human and equine forms, you'd make a truly lovely centaur."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes. You're a fine young woman, and Luke doesn't know what he's missing by turning his back on you."  
  
She looked away. "Don't say that, please."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I already have one impossible romance to deal with," she moaned. "I don't need another." And she assumed her unicorn form and galloped away.  
  
Now where had that come from? He'd just made a statement.  
  
As he made his way back to camp, he realized he'd really grown fond of Wara. And that disturbed him. Centaurs as a race were adamantly against interspecies romance! At least, the centaurs of Centaur Isle were. Technically, he was no longer one of them. But once he found the Chosen One, he would rejoin them, wouldn't he? How awful!  
  
His heart's desire had truly changed. He no longer wished to join his bigoted brethren in the south. Instead, he longed to create his own home -- and encourage Wara to join him. Would the Chosen One help him accomplish that? Or was he on his own? 


	14. Chapter 14 Imp Ire

Part XIV -- Imp Ire  
  
As Vader and Metria took down the tents and Jenny cleared up the remains of the fire, Luke repacked items in Jenny's pack, watching his father all the while. Vader seemed somewhat reserved today. He appeared to have reached a conclusion over something. Would that affect his receptivity to Luke's request?  
  
He handed the pack to Jenny, then spoke.  
  
"Tell me about my mother."  
  
Vader paused. "And a good morning to you, too."  
  
"If you're truly my father," Luke countered, "you'll tell me."  
  
"Oooohh," winced Metria. "Ouch."  
  
Vader turned to the Companions. "Finish without us. We have some things to discuss."  
  
Jenny's eyes sparkled knowingly. "All right."  
  
Luke and Vader moved a little deeper into the forest and sat down on the captain's log by the river. "What is it you want to know?" Vader requested.  
  
"Everything."  
  
"That's a tall order."  
  
"Please. I know nothing about her."  
  
If Vader could have sighed, he probably would have right then. "Very well. When I first met your mother, she was the queen of the Naboo system."  
  
That floored Luke immediately. A queen?!  
  
"Don't look so shocked," Vader advised. "You wanted to know everything."  
  
"I do! But that just... caught me off guard."  
  
Vader nodded. "Not many Tatooine farm youth have royal blood in their veins."  
  
"So... does that make me a prince?"  
  
"I'm afraid not. Before the Empire installed a governor in place of a monarch, Naboo elected their royalty. But your mother continued to be influential in her homeworld's political dealings as a senator after her term in office ended."  
  
Luke kicked a rock into the river and watched it splash. "Was it a politically arranged marriage? You know, an alliance of power? Did Naboo want to gain favor with the Sith Order?"  
  
"No. I was not a Sith when I knew your mother."  
  
"All right then, the Jedi Order."  
  
Vader snorted. "Jedi were forbidden the privilege of love and marriage. Our union was a clandestine affair. Even she advised against it. She said we would be living a lie, one that would destroy us." A pause. "Looking back, I almost wish I had listened to her."  
  
"Almost?"  
  
He looked him in the eye. "Had we not wed, she would not have borne you."  
  
Luke stared back, astonished. Was this the same man who had tried to kill him three weeks ago?  
  
As if reading his thoughts, Vader answered his question. "I was determined to locate you when I learned of your existence. I hoped to convert you to the dark side. I did not expect you to bring back memories of Padme."  
  
"Padme? That was her name?"  
  
"Padme Amidala. And though you do somewhat resemble me as a younger man, you have inherited some of her features as well." He looked away. "Our encounter brought back memories -- painful ones. And in reaction to that pain I tried to destroy the source. Which is what the Emperor wanted in the first place."  
  
"I thought the Emperor wanted me as one of the Sith."  
  
"Not originally. He prefers your death but will accept you as a fellow Sith." His voice grew quiet. "I loved your mother. And you're all I have left of her. I cannot destroy you. But neither can I let you become a Jedi. It will mean both of our destructions."  
  
Of course. It was all clear now. That was why Vader couldn't destroy him on Bespin. That was why he was so desperate to turn him. It wasn't because he was eager to corrupt him. It was out of love.  
  
"I doubt I can force you to do anything, Luke," Vader went on. "You have inherited a strong stubborn streak from both sides of your family. But for your own good, please reconsider your allegiances."  
  
Before either of them could say anything more, unfortunately, Chang trotted into their clearing.  
  
"Have either of you seen Wara?" he asked.  
  
"Not since last night," Luke confessed.  
  
"I thought she had gone with you," said Vader.  
  
"Yes, but she ran off," Chang replied. "I thought she had returned to her tent, but Jenny and Metria say she never came back to camp."  
  
"This is bad," worried Luke, standing. "We have to find her."  
  
"No we don't!" Metria cut in, materializing next to them.  
  
"Metria!" shouted Vader. "Don't tell me you were eavesdropping!"  
  
"Okay, I won't tell you," she replied. "But that's beside the point. Look on the intelligent side, Luke."  
  
"The what?" he asked.  
  
"Smart, genius, sunny, illuminated..."  
  
"Bright," Chang provided.  
  
"Whatever. Now that Wara's gone, you won't have to put up with her fawning over you all the time! The pest is gone!"  
  
"But if we don't find her," Luke pointed out, "Darius might find her first. And he can force her to tell him about our plans to overthrow him."  
  
"So what? At least she's gone. Wasn't like she was a big help anyway... and just what is so funny, cyber-breath?"  
  
Vader, who had burst out laughing in the middle of the demoness' spiel, calmed down enough to answer. "Metria, I do believe you are jealous!"  
  
"So what? I'm his Companion, and if he summons the stork with anybody, it's gonna be me! Not some horse-woman he ran into at a love spring!"  
  
"And he will not engage in sexual activity with a soulless lustful demoness either," Vader replied menacingly, the laughter gone from his voice. "He deserves better than you."  
  
"Oh-ho-ho, you're asking for it, steel-for-brains," Metria snarled, becoming a griffon.  
  
"Is that a challenge?" demanded Vader, igniting his lightsaber.  
  
"Bring it on!" she taunted. "Not that you can hurt me with your shiny stick..."  
  
"Will you two SHUT UP?!!" Luke shouted.  
  
"He started it," Metria grumped, turning human again.  
  
"I don't care who started it," Luke snapped. "The important thing now is to find Wara, not fight each other. Chang, where's Jenny?"  
  
"I last saw her back at the campsite," the centaur replied.  
  
"Good. We'll need Sammy's services."  
  
But when they reached the camp, Jenny and the cat were nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Jenny?" Vader called, looking around. "Sithspawn. There's no trace of her."  
  
"Oh great, now the elf's abaloned us too," growled Metria.  
  
"She's what?" asked Chang.  
  
"Shellfish, clam, ditched, left..."  
  
"Abandoned," Vader corrected.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Chang suddenly drew his bow and set an arrow to it. "Luke, behind you!"  
  
Luke drew his blast-her and turned.  
  
A stormtrooper! What was a stormtrooper doing in Xanth? Then again, who was to say it was a stormtrooper? It certainly looked like a stormtrooper -- except most stormtroopers weren't less than a meter tall.  
  
You've got to be kidding me, he thought.  
  
"Hands in the air," the miniature trooper ordered, weapon trained on their party.  
  
Vader couldn't suppress a short laugh. "Any of us could crush you without even trying, I'll have you know."  
  
"Maybe one of us, but not all," the trooper replied as more white-armored soldiers emerged from the forest to surround them. "Now hands in the air."  
  
About thirty of the diminutive troopers ringed the campsite, wielding pistols or rifles. Several of them ushered a startled-looking Jenny into the clearing, while two more wrestled with a very irritated Sammy, who was the size of a massif compared to them. Luke was torn between embarrassment, nervousness, and amusement as he holstered his own weapon and lifted his arms.  
  
"What's with you all?" Metria scoffed as both Vader and Chang followed Luke's example. "Don't tell me you're scared of a bunch of short-shrifts with blast-hers!"  
  
"For your information, ma'am, they're blast-its," the squad leader explained, his rank distinguished by a shoulder pauldron. "Much more versatile weapons than blast-hers or blast-hims. And we're not shrifts. We're imps."  
  
"Imps?" Luke repeated. In their galaxy, "imp" was a common, if derogatory, slang word for any Imperial, but here in Xanth they must be some sort of small humanoid creature, like the goblins and elves.  
  
"Imps," the leader replied. "Of the village of Imp Ire, the only imp settlement north of the Gap Chasm."  
  
Vader shook his head. "I should have guessed."  
  
"What do you want of us?" asked Chang.  
  
"Our Imp-eror wants to speak with you," the leader replied. "You'll follow us, please."  
  
"Why should we?" sneered Metria.  
  
"At the moment we don't have a choice," Luke told her as they trailed after the squad leader.  
  
"Are all imps like this?" Vader asked Jenny.  
  
"Not all," she replied. "The village of Imp Erial is quite regal, and they treat their visitors like royalty. But the villages of Imp Rison and Imp Ossible aren't as friendly. I've never been to Imp Ire, so this is all new to me."  
  
Luke wasn't sure what to expect of Imp Ire, but he wasn't too surprised to find the village was merely an Imperial military outpost built on a somewhat smaller scale. TIE Fighters, Interceptors, and Bombers the size of Imperial probe droids zipped overhead. Neat rows of troopers drilled in perfect formation while officers and other personnel -- who, unmasked, simply resembled green-skinned, knee-high humans -- darted from building to building on whatever business they had. There was even a Stardestroyer in the sky overhead, though it was difficult to judge its size.  
  
At last a black-hooded figure approached, leaning on a gnarled black cane and flanked by scarlet-armored guards. Luke politely smothered a laugh. The Imp-eror looked like an earless dark-side version of Master Yoda.  
  
"Your Highness, we've brought the travelers," the leader greeted, bowing.  
  
"Good," the Imp-eror crooned, gazing up at Luke and Vader. "Welcome to Imp Ire, my friends. What brings you through our territory?"  
  
"We're Players in a game," Luke explained. "One of our party is missing, and we were looking for her when your stormtroopers captured us."  
  
"I see," the Imp-eror replied. "You're mistaken on two counts. These men are jungle troopers, not storm troopers. And you are not captives among us, but guests. I'm afraid we have not seen anyone aside from you pass through our territory for some time, so we cannot tell you where your friend is."  
  
Vader stepped forward. "I call your bluff, Your Excellency. I believe you have our friend captive and are about to demand a ransom for her return."  
  
The Imp-eror looked shocked. "We would never do such a thing!"  
  
"Imps are peaceful folk," Jenny explained.  
  
"Peaceful?!" Chang repeated, looking around at the multitude of troopers and starships.  
  
"When your village is in the heart of goblin territory, of course you must defend yourself," the Imp-eror replied.  
  
Vader nodded. "My apologies. I assumed you meant us ill."  
  
"Apology accepted. We brought your party here to request something of you. You see, we have a dilemma."  
  
Jenny started humming as the Imp-eror's explanation came to vivid life.  
  
Years ago, a group of imps from the village of Imp Erial decided to try their luck in forming a new settlement. They trekked north, crossed the Gap Chasm, and found what appeared to be the perfect place to build a village. With the With-A-Cookie River at its western border, lush jungle on the other three sides, and plentiful trees and bushes bearing foodstuffs, clothing, and other supplies, it was a seeming paradise. So they called a halt to their journey and started building.  
  
But there was one small problem. The spot they had chosen was smack in the center of goblin-held territory.  
  
After that, it was paradise lost. The war-loving goblins laid siege to the intruding imps' village, torturing their men for laughs, kidnapping their women, and raiding their supply stores. It looked to be the end of Imp Ire.  
  
Some imps might have fled, whimpering, back to Imp Erial. But the trek across Xanth had made the imps of Imp Ire resilient, and they weren't about to give up their hard-won home so easily. So instead of retreating, they began developing weapons, armor, and vehicles to battle their foe. They trained imp men and women in the arts of war and created specialized classes of troopers to tackle the job of defending the village -- storm troopers for fighting in bad weather, jungle troopers for forest skirmishes, river troopers for water-borne attacks, and dark troopers for defending Imp Ire at night. Imp Ire not only survived, it prospered.  
  
The goblins would not give up so easily, however. Six months ago they launched a double-attack. First they drove the imp army away from the river and their nearest source of water, fortifying against the imps with a particularly tough breed of wallflower. Then they sabotaged the only safe path out of Imp Ire by planting marshmallow plants around it, turning it into a swamp. Undaunted, the Imp-eror sent a party of jungle troopers to repair the path.  
  
When the troopers failed to return, a rescue party was sent off after them. And when the rescue party vanished, another went after them. The Imp-eror was in the process of organizing a third rescue team when members of the previous groups found their way back -- with no memory.  
  
"No memory of what happened to them?" asked Vader.  
  
"No," the Imp-eror replied. "No memory of anything -- their names, their mission, the faces of their families... nothing. A few have managed to regain their memories, but we can only draw one disturbing conclusion from this." His face became grave. "The goblins placed a forget-whorl in the middle of the swamp."  
  
"A what?" asked Luke.  
  
"A long time ago, there was a spell placed on the Gap Chasm," Chang explained. "A forget spell. It made Xanthians forget the chasm even existed unless they happened to be right next to it. A Xanth-wide disaster we call the Time of No Magic destroyed all Xanth's magic for a short while, and it broke the forget spell into forget-whorls that have now spread all over Xanth. If you blunder into one, you are struck by total amnesia, though there is a chance you will regain your memory."  
  
The Imp-eror nodded. "With no safe route out of Imp Ire and no access to the river, we have no means of obtaining water. For the past six months we have used our emergency stores, but these are now almost dry. To handle the crisis, we sent one of our finest soldiers to the Good Magician's castle for a means of solving the problem. He returned to us long enough to give us the Magician's answer before going back to serve his year."  
  
"And your answer?" asked Chang.  
  
"Await the Walker of the Sky," the Imp-eror replied. "Unusual reply, is it not? I hear his answers are always right, but this one puzzles me..."  
  
Luke felt his jaw drop. "Th-that's me!"  
  
The Imp-eror's eyes lit up with renewed hope. "You?"  
  
"Yes. My name's Luke Skywalker."  
  
The Imp-eror smiled. "And we have stopped every traveler passing through our domain to ask if they were the Walker of the Sky! We had very nearly given up hope!" He extended a hand toward Luke imploringly. "We would be forever indebted to you if you aid us. Move or nullify the forget-whorl, and you will have the services of the Army of Imp Ire to find your missing friend."  
  
Luke felt overwhelmed by the request. He had no idea how to get rid of a magic spell gone awry. But the people of Imp Ire were counting on him. And as Yoda had once said, "Try not. Do or do not. There is no try."  
  
"I'll do it."  
  
"Thank you," the Imp-eror said happily. "My men will lead you to the area the goblins sabotaged."  
  
"Why did you promise them, Luke?" Vader asked as a squadron of jungle troopers led them down a narrow path. "Do you have a plan?"  
  
"Not yet, but I have to help them," Luke replied. "How can I not?"  
  
Vader was silent but obviously didn't approve.  
  
"How much farther?" whined Metria.  
  
"Just past the orange tree here..." began the squad leader.  
  
A scream ripped through the jungle.  
  
"That's Wara!" Chang exclaimed. "She must be in trouble!"  
  
"Don't go running blindly after her," Vader warned. "You could run into the whorl."  
  
"The scream came from ahead," the squad leader told them. "I'd guess your friend is in the whorl. Proceed with caution."  
  
The group halted at the edge of a slimy, foul-smelling bog. What remained of the protected path was visible as muddy islands in the sludge-filled water. And dead center in the mess was Wara, standing on a hummock of dry ground, her white dress flecked with mud and an expression of terror on her face.  
  
"Wara!" Chang shouted. "Hold on! We're coming for you!"  
  
"Who's Wara?" she wailed. "Who are you? Somebody help me!"  
  
"She doesn't recognize us," Jenny realized. "The whorl wiped out her memory."  
  
"If you have a plan, tell us of it," requested the squad leader.  
  
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking!" replied Luke. "Jenny, let me see your pack. Maybe there's something in there that can help."  
  
She handed it over. Luke opened it and dug around. Their map, a few changes of clothing, a blanket, reverse wood...  
  
Reverse wood! He untied the cord and drew one of the sticks out of the pack. Holding it tightly, he waded through the slime to get to Wara.  
  
Something hissed near him, and he spotted a water snake gliding across the water toward him. Instinctively he shoved it away with the stick, and the reptile went flying. Its magic had been reversed, making it a land snake for the time being.  
  
His mother was a beautiful woman, with dark brown hair and eyes... okay, where had that come from?  
  
He'd never told Biggs that it was he who busted his skyhopper's port wing, not Tank... what did that have to do with anything?  
  
And Wes Janson still owed him twenty creds! Thanks to the reverse wood, the whorl was making him remember things he'd previously forgotten, not destroying his memory. Ignoring the random thoughts popping into his mind, he pressed on.  
  
Mud sucked at his legs, and abruptly he found he couldn't go on. The water was now up to his waist, the mud up to his knees, and he was hopelessly stuck in it. He swore loudly as he struggled to pull his legs out of the muck.  
  
Someone grabbed him from behind and yanked him free, then set him down in shallow water. He turned to see Vader, spattered with muck and knee-deep in the swamp.  
  
"Thanks," Luke told him, and this time his gratitude was genuine.  
  
Vader looked around as if confused. "Odd place, isn't this?" He fixed Luke with a vacant stare. "You look familiar somehow..."  
  
Luke snapped his reverse wood in half and shoved one piece into Vader's hand. "Call it even, then."  
  
He shook his head, dazed. "I should have paused long enough to retrieve the other piece, shouldn't I?"  
  
"No time to go back for it. Just keep going."  
  
Wara whimpered in terror as they reached the island where she stood.  
  
"It's all right," Luke told her. "We're here to help you."  
  
She screamed and pointed skyward.  
  
"Harpies!" hissed Vader. "Thousands of them!"  
  
A flock of the ugliest birds Luke had ever seen swooped down at them, shrieking curses that wilted the jungle around them and made the swamp waters boil. Their feathers were caked with filth, their claws split and crusted with dirt, and their human faces hideous to behold, with bloodshot eyes and long greasy hair. The lead harpy dove and slashed at them with ragged talons, only to flap away squawking when Vader rammed a fist into her chest.  
  
Luke drew his blast-her and fired at the creatures. Thank the stars the weapon would be useful against them! But to his surprise, the bolt looped around and streaked toward Vader. He raised his free hand, and the bolt glanced off his gauntlet.  
  
"Remove the reverse wood!" Vader shouted.  
  
"Oops." There was still a chip of the stuff embedded in the weapon. Luke pried it out with his teeth and spit it out on the ground.  
  
Wara tried to run, but Vader grabbed her by the arm and hauled her toward the others. Luke followed close behind, firing at the screeching harpies as they dove and clawed. Though most of his shots found their marks, there were far too many of them. Claws ripped at their clothes and hair as they waded through the bog.  
  
A harpy hit the muck to Luke's right, an arrow through her neck. Obviously Chang was doing what he could to help them reach solid ground. As were the imps -- though their aim was little better than that of their Mundanian counterparts.  
  
At last, muddy and ragged but uninjured, the three of them joined the rest of the group. The harpies continued to dive and slash, though. Metria had assumed dragon form and was launching fireballs at the flock, but the determined bird-women kept coming.  
  
"This calls for fighting dirty!" Metria announced, and she vanished.  
  
"What's she doing?" a trooper demanded.  
  
"Oh, with her, you never know," Luke replied, squeezing off another round.  
  
Abruptly something appeared in the center of the flock -- a small red fruit? What was Metria up to? But before he could ask, the fruit exploded. The harpies were vaporized in an instant. Everyone else covered their eyes at the flash of fire.  
  
"A cherry bomb!" Jenny exclaimed over the noise of the blast. "She became a cherry bomb! Oh, I hope she's all right!"  
  
It was a few minutes before Luke dared look again. A foul-smelling (or was that fowl-smelling?) mist of smoke hung over the area. The bog looked worse than ever, what with the mud churned up and the scorched feathers and dead harpies floating in the scummy water. There was no sign of Metria.  
  
"I've never seen so many harpies in one place before," said Chang.  
  
"Ever since the daughter of a goblin chief married a harpy prince, the goblins and harpies have been working together," the squad leader explained. "But this seems like overkill."  
  
"It was a game challenge," Vader said. "As we're nearing our destination, the challenges are becoming more and more difficult."  
  
"Where'd Metria go?" Luke wondered aloud. Was it possible the demoness had truly been destroyed this time?  
  
An eddy of smoke curled out of the slime and drifted upward. More clumps of mist floated toward it, and they all coalesced into a single column of fog that slowly assumed human form. Metria looked exhausted and, if such were possible, even more disheveled than usual, but she was in one piece.  
  
"If you all don't mind," she said in a weak voice, "I'm going to crawl into the elf's pack and go into stasis for awhile. That last transformation took a lot out of me."  
  
"Metria, you're a hero!" Luke exclaimed. "You saved us all." And he did something he thought he would never do with Metria.  
  
He threw his arms around her and kissed her full on the mouth.  
  
Tired though she was, Metria sure knew how to kiss. By the time he finally broke away from her, his head was spinning. She, in turn, looked shocked.  
  
"I thought you didn't want to summon the stork with me," she breathed.  
  
"True, but you deserved something as a reward," Luke replied. "Call it a good-night kiss if you will."  
  
She gave a dreamy smile. "All right then. Good night, Skyslopper." And she fuzzed into vapor again and drifted into Jenny's bag with a blissful sigh.  
  
Vader shook his head in disdain. "She'll never stop chasing you now."  
  
"Hey, she saved our lives," Luke retorted. "It was the least I could do."  
  
The squad leader cleared his throat. "You did an admirable job of saving your friend, but how do you propose we go about solving the whorl issue?"  
  
Luke mulled over that a moment. Then he realized he'd already solved the issue. "I've handled that already."  
  
The imp cocked his head, curious. "How?"  
  
"Reverse wood." He pointed at the hummock where Wara had stood. The chip of wood he had pulled out of his blast-her still lay there. "As long as that wood remains there, anyone who enters the whorl will have his memory enhanced rather than erased. It's safe for workers to repair the path."  
  
The squad leader bowed. "Thank you, Walker of the Sky."  
  
"That's your name?" asked Wara, looking at him blankly.  
  
"No, it's just what the imps call me. I'm Luke Skywalker."  
  
"Oh. Then what's my name?"  
  
"Wara Werecorn," Vader informed her.  
  
By the time their group entered Imp Ire again, Vader had helped Wara recover almost all of her memory. "Almost" because he conveniently forgot to mention the love spring incident. She had no idea that she was supposed to be in love with Luke, and by the time she remembered that it was hoped that she would have found another love to replace it.  
  
"I have a notion who it's going to be, too," Jenny whispered, nodding at Chang. "I think he has a soft spot for her."  
  
"Hope that works out," Luke whispered back.  
  
The Imp-eror awaited their return, and when he spotted Wara he smiled apologetically.  
  
"You have removed the forget-whorl, then?" he asked.  
  
"Reversed it," Luke replied, and he explained.  
  
"We of Imp Ire thank you whole-heartedly," the Imp-eror replied. "But seeing as you located your missing friend without our aid, I don't know how we can repay you."  
  
"That's not necessary," Luke protested.  
  
"Please," the Imp-eror replied firmly. "We must do something in return."  
  
A trooper stepped forward with a box, and the Imp-eror removed a bright green gem from it and placed it in Luke's hand.  
  
"This emerald was a gift to our people from Jewel the Nymph," he explained. "As a token of our gratitude, we would like the Walker of the Sky to have it. Perhaps it will be of use to him."  
  
Luke smiled as he examined the jewel. It was flawless... and just the right size. Perhaps he would indeed find a use for it.  
  
"And if you ever need aid from the Army of the Imp Ire, simply play a note or two on this," the Imp-eror went on as a second trooper offered them a flute as long as his arm. "Wherever you are in Xanth, we will hear."  
  
"Thank you, Your Highness," said Jenny.  
  
"May the Force be with you," Luke added.  
  
The group hadn't gotten fifty paces out of Imp Ire before both Vader and Luke doubled over laughing.  
  
"What's so funny?" asked Wara.  
  
"A miniature Empire," Vader got out between laughs. "If only my master could see it!"  
  
"The only thing missing was a short Vader," giggled Luke. "You know, the Imp-eror's right-hand imp."  
  
It was several minutes before the two Players had worked out enough of their pent-up laughter to continue, and even then the chuckles didn't stop entirely for at least another hour. 


	15. Chapter 15 Elements

Part XV -- Elements  
  
"THROUGH the Elements?!" exclaimed Jenny.  
  
"That's what I saw," Wara reported. "The path -- the game-approved path, at any rate -- goes straight through the Regions of the Elements. At least, it goes into the Region of Air. Whether it continues into the others is anyone's guess."  
  
Wara had gone ahead of the others to see what lay in store for them. Actually, Vader had been expecting an obstacle of this magnitude. As they got closer to Lake Eerie and the end of the game, the journey became more hazardous.  
  
"At least we're in northern Xanth," Jenny said, ever the optimist. "The dangers in southern Xanth are much bigger and stranger."  
  
"What sort of dangers?" asked Luke.  
  
"There's Com Pewter, of course, and the never-ending swamp we call the Ever Glades. And Lake Ogre-Chobee -- the ogres live in the Ogre-fen Ogre-fen now, but the chobees are fearsome water monsters who still live there. And Mount Parnassus, a world all its own."  
  
"What is on this Mount Parnassus?" asked Vader.  
  
Chang took over from here, being more versed in the mountain's lore than Jenny. "Parnassus is home to a select and strange group of creatures. It has two peaks -- the southern, home to the Tree of Seeds, and the northern, which harbors the Tree of Immortality. The Tree of Immortality is guarded by the Python, a huge snake that will devour anything but prefers females, and the maenads, a race of eternally young and beautiful but extremely vicious women."  
  
"Too vicious for the Python, I presume?" Vader smirked.  
  
"Pah, I could show that Python a thing or two," said Metria, who was still buried somewhere in Jenny's pack while she recovered from her last explosive transformation.  
  
"The Tree of Seeds, which produces seeds and fruit of every plant in Xanth and several Mundanian species as well, is guarded by the Simurgh, a giant bird who has seen the destruction of the universe three times and is considered the wisest living creature in Xanth. She shares the south peak with the Oracle and the Muses."  
  
"Who are the Muses?" asked Luke.  
  
"Nine immortal women, mistresses of the arts -- music, literature, sculpture, drama, that sort of thing. Part of their duties is to compile the volumes of historical literature that tell of Xanth's history and major events. In fact," and he smiled amusedly, "I wouldn't be surprised if they were observing our exploits and writing of them now."  
  
Vader stopped short. No one had told him he would be monitored during the course of the game!  
  
"Don't worry," Jenny told him. "Very few Xanthians read those volumes."  
  
"But what of the rumors?" asked Wara.  
  
"What rumors?" inquired Chang.  
  
"That a man -- I think his name is Piers Anthony -- smuggled copies of the Muses' books into Mundania and sells them as his own creation?"  
  
"Mundania is a strange place," Chang replied. "They don't believe in magic. If they read the volumes, they will assume they are merely fantasy."  
  
"This information is irrelevant," Vader cut in. "Right now we must deal with the Elements."  
  
"Right," Jenny replied. "But there's some history to them as well. Centuries ago, a war was fought between two Magicians -- one good, named Hydrogen, and one evil, named Loudspeaker. Their struggles created the Regions of Air, Earth, Fire, Water, and Void before Hydrogen finally defeated Loudspeaker. The first three Regions are very violent, but the Region of Water is mostly peaceful. The most dangerous one of all, however, is the Void."  
  
"Metria told me about that," said Luke. "Nothing that goes in ever comes out."  
  
"Right. Hopefully the path will go around it."  
  
"But how will we get through the Region of Air?" asked Vader.  
  
At that moment, the group rounded a bend in the path to face a flat expanse of land on which a raging mass of frothing dust and whirling cyclones twisted -- an air-plain, if one wanted to see it that way. Jenny had been correct in calling the Region of Air violent. And Wara had been correct as well -- the path led straight into the bedlam.  
  
"I see no way through," said Chang in frustration.  
  
"Everybody look around," Luke suggested. "There must be a way. There's always a way."  
  
Jenny picked up a sack. "I found a wind bag. But it's not much help -- it only creates wind. We need a way to get rid of wind."  
  
"Are you sure it's not an air bag?" Wara asked.  
  
"I can't tell the difference," Jenny replied. "Besides, an air bag won't help either."  
  
Vader spotted something out of the ordinary -- so to speak, for Xanth itself was out of the ordinary. A tree clung valiantly to the ground at the very fringes of the Region. A lone tree, wind-gnarled and scraggly, but most definitely a tree. This warranted a closer look.  
  
Jackets of some sort grew from the tree, and he pulled one down and examined it. It was fairly large, and he was sure it would fit over his armor. A key to the challenge?  
  
"What have you got there, Lord Vader?" asked Jenny, coming over to take a look. "Oh, windbreakers! Of course! That's the way through the Region of Air. Everyone, come over here!"  
  
"I should have known by now," Luke remarked, pulling a windbreaker down. "The key to a challenge is usually a pun."  
  
"I was hoping we would come across an air-break to break apart the winds, but a windbreaker works just as well," said Chang. "Well, centaurs don't normally wear clothes, but in this case..."  
  
Vader removed his cape, donned the coat, and replaced the cape over it. He was sure he looked ridiculous, but for now he would tolerate it. Once everyone had shrugged into a jacket, they began the trek across the air-plain.  
  
All around them the wind churned and screamed, tying itself into knots and giving birth to whirlwinds and tornadoes. The air was practically opaque with dust and silt. The travelers walked in a pocket of calm in the maelstrom, their windbreakers forming a protective bubble around them.  
  
At last they were clear of the Region of Air and its eternal windstorms. Everyone shucked their windbreakers, and most of the group simply hung them on the nearest tree in case a traveler coming the other way needed them. Luke, however, held his with a thoughtful expression before stuffing it into Jenny's pack.  
  
"Hey, watch it!" snapped Metria.  
  
"Sorry," Luke replied. "But this may come in handy later."  
  
"Uh-oh," Jenny fretted, looking up. "We have company."  
  
"An old friend, I see," Vader noted, spotting Fracto emerging from the Region of Air. "Back to harass us some more."  
  
"Oh, he thrives on making mischief," Wara replied. "My father hated him. He would come by and storm over his herd while they were grazing."  
  
But the cloud didn't release the expected storm. He only watched them, as if curious as to how they had survived the flood he had unleashed on them at the Gap.  
  
"For now, ignore him," Vader advised.  
  
After a short walk down a path lined with such exotic items as rock maples, concrete plants, and mountain roses, they reached the next obstacle -- the Region of Earth. The ground beneath them shivered and snarled as earthquakes shook it. Rocks splintered against each other as the ground heaved and split, thrusting up mountains one minute, gashing open canyons the next. Hot gasses hissed out of fissures, and in the distance volcanoes belched out smoke, ash, and liquid fire.  
  
"The path goes through this Region as well," Chang observed.  
  
"How can we be sure we remain on the right track?" Luke inquired.  
  
"Horses and related species are very sure-footed," Wara offered. "Chang and I can scout out the safest route."  
  
"Then lead the way," Luke offered.  
  
Wara switched to her unicorn shape, and she and the centaur took their places at the head of the group to pick out the path.  
  
The going was extremely rough, and there was no backtracking, for the landscape altered itself constantly and violently. Though Vader was not a skittish man by any means, it still unnerved him to look behind and see the ground they had occupied seconds ago replaced by a gorge, a lava flow, or a pile of fallen rock.  
  
Chang stopped. "Problem."  
  
"What's wrong?" asked Jenny.  
  
"The path from here on out is very steep. I'm not sure the bipeds among us can navigate it."  
  
"Then we'll ride on your backs," Vader replied. "Is that a problem?"  
  
"Not at all," Chang answered.  
  
Wara became human long enough to answer. "Only if it is Luke or Jenny that rides me. When I become a unicorn, I'm subject to all that entails." She resumed unicorn form.  
  
"What does that mean?" asked Luke.  
  
"Unicorns customarily only allow maidens to ride them," Jenny explained, "though they will tolerate a man if he..." She looked at Chang. "I'm under the Adult Conspiracy. You finish it." She covered her ears.  
  
"Unicorns can only be ridden by virgins," Chang summarized.  
  
From Jenny's pack came Metria's hysterical laughter. Vader failed to see the humor in the situation. Apparently so did Luke, seeing as his face was going bright red.  
  
Wara knelt, and Luke mounted the unicorn. Jenny started to climb on behind him, but Wara shook her head and snorted.  
  
"Oh, I forgot." Jenny removed her pack and gave it to Vader. "You'll have to carry this. Metria's not exactly a maiden."  
  
Metria laughed maniacally again.  
  
"Be quiet," Vader snarled into the pack.  
  
Sammy meowed and leaped onto Chang's back, settling down at the curve of the centaur's spine where the human and horse parts connected. Vader mounted as well, and their party was once again on its way.  
  
Much later they exited the turbulence of the Region of Earth, covered in dust and ash but fine. Luke, Vader, and Jenny dismounted and started walking again, though Sammy was content to remain where he was. Wara stayed in unicorn form, seeming comfortable with that shape while around Chang. Was it Vader's imagination, or did those two spend more time together now that she was free of the love spring's spell?  
  
The path was now lined with firecracker plants, hot pepper plants, and the like. Fitting, Vader thought, as the next Region would be that of Fire. He suspected it would be a highly volcanic area.  
  
"Fracto's still following us," Chang observed. "You must have really annoyed him last time you met up with him."  
  
"Just don't insult him," Jenny advised.  
  
Vader halted in his tracks. Ahead of them blazed the Region of Fire -- and it was no volcanic region. It was a solid wall of flame that rose as high as an AT-AT and stretched to both sides as far as the eye could see. Deep in his gut, a panic began to rise. He managed to quell it...  
  
"And the path goes through here, too!" Jenny exclaimed.  
  
Okay, he'd just lost his grip on his panic.  
  
"Hey, this gives me an idea," Luke said eagerly, digging through Jenny's pack.  
  
"Quit jostling me around, Skypilot!" Metria snapped.  
  
"Sorry." He looked up. "Hey Fracto!"  
  
A gust of wind sent hair and clothes flapping and made the flames dance wildly.  
  
"WHAT DOES A MORTAL WANT WITH THE KING OF THE CLOUDS?" Fracto thundered.  
  
"How does one go about making a deal with you?"  
  
Fracto was silent a minute, caught off guard by the request. "IT DEPENDS ON THE DEAL."  
  
"We need to get through the Region of Fire."  
  
A rippling boom of thunder, almost like laughter, shook the air. "THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM, IS IT?"  
  
"We need your help to get through it," Luke pressed. "Will you use your storm-making powers to put out some of the flames and create a path for us?"  
  
"YOU WANT ME TO WASTE GOOD RAINWATER ON THE SORRIEST COLLECTION OF FREAKS IN XANTH?" Fracto guffawed.  
  
"In return," Luke went on, "we'll give you this." He pulled something out of Jenny's pack.  
  
"A WINDBREAKER? WHY WOULD I WANT A WINDBREAKER?"  
  
"Oh, I dunno," Luke replied casually. "I thought you'd want it to nullify any upstart cloud that sought to challenge you, but if you don't want it..."  
  
"I'M INTERESTED," Fracto said quickly. "BUT HOW WILL I KEEP IT FROM NULLIFYING MY OWN POWERS?"  
  
"This," Luke replied. He held up half a stick of reverse wood, one of the pieces he and Vader had used to get through the forget-whorl.  
  
Fracto considered. "AND HOW WILL I KEEP THE REVERSE WOOD FROM REVERSING MY POWERS?"  
  
He produced the other half of the stick.  
  
A blast of wind sucked all three objects out of Luke's hands, and they spiraled into the sky to be swallowed by Fracto's vapor.  
  
"I ACCEPT. NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY."  
  
"We will go around the Region of Fire," Vader interrupted.  
  
"But we've already made a deal," Luke protested.  
  
"Cancel it," Vader ordered.  
  
"We have to stay on the game-approved path," Chang replied.  
  
Vader shook his head. "I will not pass through there. I cannot. Go on without me if you must..."  
  
"Why?" asked Jenny.  
  
Vader didn't speak for a long time. How would such a confession affect their perception of them? Would he be branded mentally unstable or a coward? His fear was a very real thing, however, and they had to know that.  
  
"Many years ago, I fell into a molten pit," he explained slowly. "That damaged my body so severely that I was forced to wear this mask to survive."  
  
Jenny caught on. "You're afraid of going into the Region of Fire! You have a phobia of fire!"  
  
Darth Vader, lord of the Sith, afraid. The notion sickened him. But it was true. Every time his gaze lingered long on the flames, memories of Obi-wan's sweat-slicked face, of searing plasmatic blades, of unendurable heat, of hot agony, of hard cold medical machinery, of rage and pain and soul-wrenching sorrow inundated him. The very thought of entering that holocaust paralyzed him.  
  
"You can do this!" Luke encouraged. "Sure, it'll be hard, but no one ever said this was going to be easy. And we said we'd stick together on this journey."  
  
"Do you think it's easy for me to admit I cannot do it?!" Vader countered.  
  
"I have an idea," Jenny said. She delved into her pack and produced a scarf. "Tie this around your eyes."  
  
"And what do you hope to accomplish?" Chang asked her.  
  
"I'm going to lead him," she replied. "If he can't see the flames, maybe they won't frighten him. And I can help him through."  
  
Vader stared at her, uncomprehending.  
  
"You helped me at the wormhole," she pressed. "Now let me help you. Kneel so I can tie this."  
  
Touched and humiliated at the same time, he crouched and allowed her to wrap the scarf around the lenses of his mask. He stood again, and she took his hand.  
  
"NOW LISTEN CLOSELY," Fracto boomed. "THE FLAMES OF THE REGION OF FIRE ARE RELENTLESS. I CAN SNUFF A PATCH DIRECTLY BENEATH ME, BUT IF I MOVE FORWARD, THE FIRE WILL DRY THE WATER AND RE-IGNITE THE AREA IN AN INSTANT. IF YOU WANT SAFE PASSAGE THROUGH THE REGION OF FIRE, YOU MUST STAY DIRECTLY BENEATH ME."  
  
Rain poured down all around. Jenny pulled at his arm to guide him.  
  
Though he could see nothing, he could feel the heat of the Region of Fire all around him. Combined with the steam from Fracto's downpour, it made his surroundings feel like a sauna. Smoke laced every breath he took, and the ash-blanketed ground sank slightly with each step.  
  
At last they stopped, and someone pulled his blindfold off. They were past the Region of Fire.  
  
"Thanks, Fracto!" Luke shouted.  
  
The cloud boomed a farewell and moved on.  
  
Vader placed a hand on Jenny's shoulder. "Thank you, Jenny." He was too embarrassed to say much else.  
  
But she sensed what he had not said. "Don't worry about it. Everyone has something they're afraid of, no matter who they are. I'm afraid of heights, and you're afraid of fire."  
  
"Not all fire, simply walking through it," he corrected.  
  
"Did I miss anything?" Metria asked, suddenly appearing in the middle of the group.  
  
"Your dress, for one thing," Chang noted dryly.  
  
"You don't have to tell me, Wader," she huffed, her dress reappearing. "Get some clothes on. Oh look, a lake!"  
  
"Ocean" was more like it. Ahead of the path lay an expanse of water that dwarfed anything Vader had ever seen before. Plants such as water hyacinths, water lilies, and breadfruit trees that bore sea-biscuits grew along the shore.   
  
"The path goes to the shore," Wara noted as she became human again. "And it looks like it goes underwater, too."  
  
"We shouldn't have a problem with this Region," Jenny assured them. "All we need is a boat."  
  
"Done." Metria leaped into the water and became a sail-powered raft. Everyone climbed aboard, and the craft set off.  
  
The others might have thought the journey peaceful, but Vader found it dull. Once the shoreline disappeared the scenery became a monotony of blue-gray water. Not even an island or fellow watercraft could be seen.  
  
Something broke the surface on his side of the raft -- a porpoise. The same one that had aided them at the Magician's castle? No, this one was a different shade of gray. It cackled good-naturedly and nuzzled his hand. Grateful for the break from his boredom, he rubbed the creature's head. It purred and executed a graceful leap, playfully splashing water at him. He couldn't help but laugh.  
  
Then a thought came that sobered him instantly. A porpoise always had a purpose. This one wasn't just part of the scenery. It was the key to an upcoming challenge.  
  
"Creature ahoy!" Wara exclaimed.  
  
Vader faced the front of the raft to see a huge shape just beneath the surface, barreling toward their raft at top speed. Chang sent an arrow into the water, and the creature veered right. Then a long neck with a fearsome reptilian head snaked out of the water, screaming in rage.  
  
"That looks like a plesiosaur!" Jenny exclaimed.  
  
"Plesiosaurs aren't vicious," Chang protested. "They're always eager to please..."  
  
"This one's vicious!" Jenny countered. "Looks like a crossbreed -- plesiosaur-allegory mix."  
  
Wara's face went white. "Darius! He and his army use crossbreed animals as weapons and beasts of burden! He must have sent it to get rid of us!"  
  
Of course. The beast was eager to please -- eager to please Darius, at least. Darius knew they were coming and sought to eliminate them.  
  
The plesiosaur's head came closer, water and saliva dripping from its grinning jaws. But a flash of annoyance crossed its ugly face, and it turned sharply.  
  
The porpoise, who had just rammed its nose into a soft spot on the beast's belly, squealed tauntingly and swam off like a blaster bolt. The monster followed, though its bulk slowed it down enough to assure everyone that their benefactor wouldn't be eaten.  
  
"That was close," Luke groaned.  
  
"Crash ho!" shouted Metria, a mouth forming on her sail.  
  
"What ho?" asked Luke.  
  
"Touchdown, re-entry, earth, continent..."  
  
"Land," Wara corrected.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
The raft beached on the opposite shore, and everyone disembarked. They had surmounted the challenge of the Region of Water.  
  
"Good work, Vader," Wara congratulated.  
  
"For what?" he asked.  
  
"Befriending the porpoise. You were friendly to it, so it was friendly to us in return."  
  
"That was not intentional."  
  
"It was still a big help..." began Luke. "Aw no!"  
  
"What?" asked Wara.  
  
"The path."  
  
Vader saw what Luke was referring to. The game path led straight into the Void. A hazy area whose borders couldn't quite be defined, it tugged at him as if he were standing near a powerful magnet.  
  
"Should we try going around?" he asked.  
  
"Who knows what'll happen if we go off the path?" Jenny replied.  
  
"We can't go through the Void!" Metria protested.  
  
"You can," Luke pointed out. "You can teleport to the other side."  
  
"Yeah, but if you get sucked into the Void and wipe out, Grossclout'll mush my head!"  
  
"There must be a way," Luke murmured.  
  
"But nothing can go through the Void," protested Wara. "Only day and night mares can survive..."  
  
Something clicked in Vader's brain. "Jenny, remember that Mundane woman we met at the Good Magician's castle?"  
  
"Yes," Jenny replied. "Why?"  
  
"She was brought to Xanth by a day mare. The creatures are not merely delivery beasts. They can be a means of transportation."  
  
"Day mares are largely imaginary creatures," Chang informed him. "Only in the dream realm are they given substance. It is impossible to ride them."  
  
"Unless you are in the dream realm with them," Vader retorted.  
  
"Well, I suppose it is possible, if you were daydreaming and happened to contact the day mare who brought you the dream, that she MIGHT convey you," Chang conceded, though he sounded highly doubtful. "But day mares don't simply come on command, and you cannot predict when one might appear to deliver..."  
  
"Your talent, horse-rear!" Metria interrupted in her usual blunt manner. "You can summon the things, dismember?"  
  
"What?" asked Chang.  
  
"Decapitate, mutilate, recall, recollect..."  
  
"Remember," Luke replied.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Oh, yes," Chang replied with an embarrassed grin. "I so seldom use my talent that I forget about it on occasion."  
  
"That's it," Luke realized. "Chang summons day mares, and they transport us, in our dreams, beyond the Void. Hopefully, that will get us physically past the Void."  
  
"We can give it a try," Wara replied hopefully.  
  
"Everyone think of something pleasant," Jenny ordered. "Chang, summon five day mares, one for each of us that can dream. Metria, go to the other side of the Void and wait for us there."  
  
"What if you don't show up?" she asked.  
  
"Give us an hour, then come back," Luke told her.  
  
"All right, Boardwalker." She vanished.  
  
Vader closed his eyes, imagining himself at the controls of his TIE fighter. He had customized the fighter heavily, but unlike the infamous claptrap Millennium Falcon, his was a seamless, expertly crafted starship. Ever since he was a child, he had loved beautiful machines -- his long-lost droid and first project C-3P0, his podracer, various skycars and starships, and his prized Executor. A majestic, powerful vessel, she was the undisputed queen of the stars.  
  
Funny -- he was so fascinated by machines, but hated the fact that he was controlled by them. It was quite the irony. But then, the Executor and his TIE didn't dominate his life in the same ways his life-support armor did.  
  
Something flickered at the corner of his eye. A scarlet horse galloped across the stars, silent, beautiful, and utterly out of place here. He brought the TIE around for a better look.  
  
(Who are you?)  
  
[Day Mare Morgana. And you?]  
  
(Lord Darth Vader.)  
  
[Why do you contact me?]  
  
(I require transport to the opposite side of the Void. Can you aid me?)  
  
[Fire your tow cable.]  
  
He made an adjustment to the firing mechanism and pulled the trigger. The heavy cable streaked forward several meters before the line ran out. Morgana took the end in her teeth and set off at a swift canter, pulling the starfighter along with her. Then she quickened her pace, running at a speed he'd thought a horse incapable of. The stars became blurs on either side as if they were penetrating hyperspace...  
  
And when he opened his eyes again, he was facing a game-regulation campsite, the Void far off in the distance behind him. Luke and Metria had already set up tents, and after a few minutes they were joined by the others.  
  
"Another challenge behind us," Jenny said brightly. "And we're almost to our goal!"  
  
"It's a wonder you can be so cheery," Wara noted, looking concerned. "The Ogre-fen lies between us and Lake Eerie, and we still have Darius to deal with."  
  
The unicorn girl was right. The game wasn't over yet. There were still greater dangers to face, and there was no guarantee that any of them would survive to see the end of the game.  
  
Tomorrow would come too soon. He retired to his tent and fell into a deep sleep. 


	16. Chapter 16 Ogres

Part XVI -- Ogres  
  
Luke stared blankly at the latest obstacle to cross their paths, unsure of its origins or a way to surmount it. It stretched both ways and deep into the jungle on either side, so sidetracking to get around it would put them a good distance out of the way and into untold danger. And it was taller than Vader, with a smooth surface almost like plasteel, and lacking handholds of any kind, so going over was out. They had to get past it to cross the Ogre-fen Ogre-fen, but how?  
  
"Metria, what's this?" he asked.  
  
"Hmph," she grunted, inspecting it. "Chain letter. Biggest one I've ever seen."  
  
"Each of these symbols are letters," Jenny explained. "And they're magically connected so they can't come apart."  
  
"I recognize this one and this one," Wara mused, touching a number 8 and a letter Y, "but what sort of letter is this?" She pointed to a very artistic-looking symbol.  
  
"Mundanian," Chang replied. "Oriental of some sort -- I'd say Chinese calligraphy. I'm well-versed in Mundanian anthropology."  
  
"Whatever that means," Metria replied. "What's this one?"  
  
Chang looked stumped, if that was possible for a centaur. "I don't know."  
  
"That's Aurebesh," Luke replied. "Our written language."  
  
Vader studied the chain of letters. "Can it be destroyed?"  
  
"It can," Jenny said warily. "But it's supposed to be bad luck to break the chain."  
  
"Pah, that's supernova," Metria snorted.  
  
"That's what?" asked Luke.  
  
"Cosmic calamity, stellar implosion, old wive's tale, folklore..."  
  
"Superstition," Chang corrected.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Metria's correct," Chang replied. "There is no evidence to prove that breaking the chain brings misfortune on the breaker..."  
  
"Not true!" Wara protested. "My unicorn uncle broke a chain, and the next day he was eaten by a tangle tree!"  
  
"Nonsense," Vader replied, igniting his lightsaber. "People believe what they want to believe. If they believe breaking the chain of letters will bring misfortune, they will attribute any misfortune to the broken chain. I, on the other hand, side with Metria and Chang on the matter."  
  
"But this is Xanth," Luke reminded him. "Things work differently here. Giving us bad luck could be the chain's natural defense against injury..."  
  
"I'll take the chance," Vader snapped, and he plunged the lightsaber hilt-deep into a giant letter X. There was a stench like melting plastic, then the symbol collapsed on itself, melting into a gooey black mess in the grass. Vader stepped over the tarry puddle and motioned for the others to follow.  
  
"I hope you know what you're doing," Jenny said worriedly.  
  
They pressed on. Before long they began seeing signs of ogre activity -- trees broken off halfway up their trunks, yanked up by their roots, or twisted into knots; stones crumbled like day-old bread or with bites taken out of them; footprints the size of landspeeders; and loud crashing and howling sounds in the distance.  
  
"Be quiet," Metria advised. "Ogres are stupid -- and proud of it -- but they have very good hearing. And they eat anything that moves."  
  
"And some things that don't," added Jenny.  
  
"Could they have sided with Darius?" Luke whispered.  
  
"There are one or two half-ogres in his army," Wara replied quietly. "But Darius would never recruit a purebred of any species. He considers them prideful and weak."  
  
Darius was a hypocrite, Luke decided. He hated the fact that he was a crossbreed, yet he discriminated against pure-bloods more than they discriminated against him. He preached the ideals of utopia, but didn't practice them. He'd never compared Emperor Palpatine to the magician before, but now he realized the two shared a lot of similarities.  
  
Chang halted, and Luke, engrossed in his thoughts, ran smack into the centaur's equine posterior and landed hard on his tailbone. He yelped in surprise.  
  
"Sshhh!" hissed Metria.  
  
"I wasn't meaning to..." Luke protested.  
  
Vader clamped a gloved hand over Luke's mouth. "Quiet, Luke." He nodded forward.  
  
Ahead of them gathered four of the biggest, ugliest men Luke had ever seen. Not just homely ugly, but stomach-turningly ugly. Tusk-like teeth jutted from their rubbery lips, their eyes bulged, and dark hair covered their faces and arms. They were seated in a circle, crunching on a meal of freshly killed dragon. One of them grunted something, and the rest burst into roaring laughter.  
  
"We can sneak around them," Luke suggested.  
  
"Not likely," Metria replied, pointing. One ogre's rump was planted directly on the path.  
  
"Should we sidestep the path?" asked Wara.  
  
"Not a good idea," Chang replied softly. "The path on that side is bordered by cobra lilies. Their bite will kill you in minutes."  
  
"Can we simply kill the ogres?" asked Vader.  
  
Jenny stared at him incredulously. "I don't doubt that you're good in a fight, Lord Vader, but one ogre by himself is a match for the biggest dragon. And there are four here. It's my duty as a Companion to protect you, so I'm strongly advising you don't go out there and try to fight them."  
  
"Yes, but we have an advantage over these ogres," Vader pointed out, tapping the side of his helmet. "We're intelligent."  
  
One ogre set his hank of dragon meat on the ground and stretched leisurely. The sound of his joints popping into place sounded like a massive sheet of buckling metal.  
  
Luke motioned to the others. "I've got a plan. Chang, does cobra lily venom affect ogres?"  
  
"Not as much as it affects us, seeing as they're bigger," Chang replied. "I believe it will make them sleepy for a few hours..."  
  
"Good enough. Here's what we'll do."  
  
Once he'd finished outlining his plan, Metria reacted. "You're crazy!"  
  
"Look who's talking," Vader retorted.  
  
"It'll never work!" Metria insisted.  
  
"Do you have any suggestions?" demanded Chang.  
  
Metria grumbled a few words that made the ground smoke but subsided.  
  
"Good," Luke replied. "To your stations."  
  
Wara, Metria, Jenny, and Sammy remained behind while Vader, Luke, and Chang slipped through the undergrowth to the nearest patch of cobra lilies. Chang removed his quiver of arrows and let his comrades withdraw a few arrows. Luke extended one toward the patch, point first, ensuring his arm was out of reach of the serpentine plants.  
  
The plant-creature hissed threateningly, spreading its petals into a hood shape. He jabbed at the plant, and it struck, its glistening thorn-fangs scraping against the metal head of the arrow. The cobra lily's venom shone wetly on the arrowhead. Perfect.  
  
One by one they treated each of Chang's arrows, until they had gone through the entire quiver. Hopefully the poison would keep its power after it had dried. Vader lifted his hand toward the girls, their signal to act.  
  
Jenny, Wara, and Metria stepped into view, innocent expressions on their faces as if they were merely ignorant travelers.  
  
"Eeeeeek!" shouted Jenny in mock terror. "Ogres!"  
  
One ogre perked up at the scream and turned to face Jenny. Blood and spit ran down his chin as he grinned eagerly. "See she!" he bellowed.  
  
"Me see!" another demanded, shoving him out of the way.  
  
"More lunch!" a third ogre declared. "Oh crunch!" He stood and pounded forward, a hungry gleam in his eye.  
  
"Do they always speak in rhyme?" asked Vader quietly.  
  
"When they can help it," Chang replied, taking careful aim. "It's their nature." As the ogre stepped past the mens' hiding place, he fired. The arrow buried itself in his thigh and stuck there.  
  
The huge being stopped in mid-stride as the cobra venom took affect. He smiled dreamily. His eyes drooped shut as he tottered precariously on his feet, then he hit the jungle floor with a resounding BOOM that nearly knocked the three men off their feet. The ogre's contented snore ripped through the jungle like the screams of a rancor with indigestion.  
  
"Wake up!" a second ogre demanded, stomping toward the fallen beast. "We sup!"  
  
Chang loosed another arrow, and the second ogre fell like some ancient tree. The third ogre went to wake his comrades and was similarly sent to the dream realm. The forest seemed to tremble with their deafening snores.  
  
The fourth ogre, though by no means an intelligent specimen of his kind, realized something was amiss. He looked into the bushes and spotted the three men.  
  
"Me see three he!" he thundered.  
  
"Oh Sith!" swore Luke.  
  
Chang launched an arrow, but in his haste the shot went wide, striking a triginome-tree and causing its triangular leaves to wilt. Before he could ready another arrow, the ogre scooped him up in one enormous hand.  
  
"Chang!" Wara shrieked, her terror unfeigned.  
  
Vader burst from their hiding place, saber ignited, and drove it home into the ogre's foot. At the same time Wara, in unicorn form, charged and gored the giant creature's ankle. It took a few seconds for the pain to work its way up the ogre's lengthly nervous system and into his brain, but when it registered, his ear-splitting scream seemed to split the heavens. Reflexively he kicked with the injured limb, and Vader and Wara went flying. They landed quite roughly a few dozen meters away and did not immediately get up.  
  
Luke would have gone to their aid, but he had problems of his own. For the ogre's howl of agony had just attracted more of his kind.  
  
Metria grew a dozen times her normal height in an instant as she assumed ogress form. With a booming laugh she charged the advancing ogres, and the punches and kicks flew. But there were too many for even Metria to keep occupied.  
  
Jenny was paralyzed by fright. Luke ran to her and grabbed her arm, hauling her forcibly away from the melee. Just their luck, though, an ogre saw them go and tromped after them.  
  
"Wara and Lord Vader!" cried Jenny. "They could be hurt!"  
  
"We can't help them now," Luke told her, pointing. An ogre had just scooped up the unconscious Sith and unicorn and was carrying them away.  
  
"Oh no," she moaned. "I failed as a Companion."  
  
"It's not your fault," Luke told her.  
  
Something hissed angrily before them -- the cobra lilies. They could go no farther. The ogre had them cornered.  
  
"Me got!" he bellowed. "Run not!" And he reached toward them.  
  
Luke spotted a wilted, rotten-looking plant sprouting near the lily patch, bearing a putrid-brown bugle-shaped flower. A stinkhorn! Maybe this was their only chance of surviving. Without hesitation he brought his fist down hard on the plant.  
  
BAROOOOOOOMPH! The plant let them have it, as it always did when disturbed. The two of them were smothered in a cloud of disgusting vapor. The cobra lilies closest to the stinkhorn shriveled and died on the spot, and the rest rasped in revulsion.  
  
The ogre's fist closed around them and began to lift them. For a moment Luke was treated to a very unwanted close-up of the being's face. Then he got a whiff of his prey.  
  
"Ugh! Stink!" The ogre was so disgusted he forgot to rhyme. He opened his hand and let the two of them fall as he coughed and gagged.  
  
Oh Sithspit, this is going to hurt, was Luke's last conscious thought as the ground rushed to meet him.  
  
***  
  
"All right, so the stinkhorn thing was a bad idea," Luke grudgingly admitted, nursing his bruised temple.  
  
"You think so?" Vader remarked sarcastically.  
  
The two Players, Jenny, Chang, Wara, and Sammy sat in the darkness of the temporary prison of an overturned ogre-sized cooking pot. Thanks to Luke's failed plan, the blackness around them was liberally tainted with stinkhorn stench. In addition to various cuts and bruises, Jenny had a broken arm and Wara's knee was sprained. Vader had sustained damage to his mask from his fall, leaving him with only sixty percent of his respirator's working capacity.  
  
"Where's Metria?" Wara asked finally.  
  
"Who knows?" Luke muttered. "And besides, there's not a whole lot she can do."  
  
"What lies in store for us?" Vader asked, his voice more distorted than usual.  
  
"Nothing pleasant," Jenny replied. "We'll either be eaten right away or cooked and put away for future use."  
  
"And that's a best-case scenario," Chang added gloomily.  
  
Luke groaned and leaned back, his shoulders and head resting against the metal walls of their prison. He should have never started playing the game. It had only gotten himself and others into a fatal situation. But then, if he hadn't come to Xanth, he would never have encountered Vader again and had the opportunity to ask questions about his past. His life might end today, but at least he could die with some closure.  
  
Voices could be heard from outside the cauldron. One sounded like Metria. Another was unmistakably an ogre. The third seemed to be male, but he couldn't place it. Curious, he pressed his ear to the metal wall to listen.  
  
"Get it through your thick ugly head!" Metria was shouting. "They're not for eating! My friend here wants to meet them!"  
  
"We eat!" the ogre protested. "Not meet!"  
  
"This was part of our bargain," the man said. "Animals and raiding parties you can eat. But anyone else must come to us first. Is that clear?"  
  
Luke frowned. Bargain? Was this Darius, and he had indeed made a deal with the ogres of Ogre-fen Ogre-fen? That seemed to be the gist of it.  
  
"Clear here," the ogre grudgingly admitted.  
  
"Good," huffed Metria. "You don't know how relieved I am that you're finally getting these annoying guys off my return."  
  
"Your what?" the man asked.  
  
"Reappearance, repeat, dorsal, posterior..."  
  
"Back."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"My pleasure, Miss Metria."  
  
He couldn't believe this! Metria was betraying them! She must have been a False Companion from the start! His hand went to his blast-her. Maybe they could still take Darius out, or at least die trying...  
  
The pot was lifted away, exposing them to the sunlight. An ogre hefted the pot onto his shoulder and walked away. Metria stood before them, looking bored. A young man on her right studied them carefully.  
  
Luke hesitated, confused. This didn't look like Wara's description of Darius. In fact, he didn't look like a crossbreed at all. He was simply a human, around Jenny's age with brown hair and eyes and a tan complexion. Beside him was a slender woman close to Luke's age, very fair with blonde hair and dark blue eyes.  
  
"Why do I have to keep saving you all?" demanded Metria. "Took me ages to find these two so I could get rid of those annoying ogres and keep you from being tonight's main course..."  
  
"Then you're not False!" Luke exclaimed in relief.  
  
"Luke!" Jenny chided. "You know she can't tell you if she is or isn't!"  
  
The young man smiled. "I've seen weird things here, but this tops all. I'm Matt."  
  
"I'm Tracy," the girl greeted.  
  
"Luke Skywalker," Luke introduced.  
  
"We know," Tracy replied. "Metria told us everything. A game, huh? There are many paths into Xanth. That must be a new one."  
  
"You see, we're Mundane too," Matt added. "And when Metria told us the ogres had captured Mundanians, we knew we had to meet you."  
  
"What's this about you making a deal with the ogres?" Vader inquired. Apparently Luke hadn't been the only one eavesdropping on their conversation.  
  
"The ogres let us live in the fen as long as we don't scare away their prey," Tracy explained. "But part of the deal is that they can't pick on innocent travelers. So they bring them to us to inspect, and once we're sure they're on a worthy mission, they pass a test and go on."  
  
"Test?" repeated Wara.  
  
"We'll explain at our place," Matt replied. "Come with us."  
  
Luke glanced toward the others to see if they were following. Jenny was cradling her injured arm, and Chang was lifting Wara onto his back to transport her. But it was Vader who he finally locked eyes with, and what he saw made him freeze.  
  
The left side of Vader's mask was badly scratched and cracked, and the lens on that side had been shattered. His eye was exposed, and it pinned Luke where he stood with a piercing stare.  
  
It's blue, he thought dumbly. Like mine.  
  
"You're holding up traffic," Vader informed him.  
  
"Uh... sorry." He jogged to catch up with Matt and Tracy.  
  
Ahead of them sat a winged cabin. Matt opened the door and shouted "Uncle Gale, we have company!"  
  
"House fly," Chang noted. "A well-built one, too."  
  
"We bought it off an elf community," Tracy explained.  
  
A heavyset man, somewhere in his sixties with thinning white hair and wearing a striped shirt, jeans, and suspenders, came to the door to meet them. "Well, I'll be," he marveled. "Ain't that something. Looks like you folks have seen some action. Tracy, why don't you get that bottle of healing elixir?"  
  
She returned with a glass bottle of water, probably collected from a healing spring. Gale wet a cloth with it and wiped down Jenny's arm first, then dabbed the cloth on Luke's temple. He felt the ache there melt away, and when he touched the area the bruise was gone. Gale proceeded to treat everyone's injuries, even splashing some on Vader's mask, closing the cracks and repairing the broken lens. That elixir was quite versatile!  
  
"So how did you come to Xanth?" asked Jenny. "Luke and Vader were brought here by a game, and we met a girl who came on a day mare..."  
  
"My granddaughter," Gale said proudly. "Clever of her to find a way here and a way back. The three of us can't go back."  
  
"You see, Gale's not really our uncle," Tracy explained. "We call him that because we all kind of adopted each other. We had something in common -- we all came to Xanth due to some personal tragedy."  
  
"Sometimes that happens," Wara replied. "Sometimes something bad happens to a good person, and instead of dying that person comes to live in Xanth. But once here in Xanth, they must stay here."  
  
Matt nodded. "My friend and I were goofing off one day. We were... playing with something we shouldn't have been. I remember this loud BANG... then I was in Xanth."  
  
"I was in a car," said Tracy. "My boyfriend was driving. It was late, and the roads were bad. He fell asleep... and I ended up coming to Xanth."  
  
"I was sick," said Gale. "Very sick, for a long time. My heart didn't work well anymore. One night, I simply came to Xanth in my sleep."  
  
It took awhile for anyone to reply.  
  
"That is unfortunate," Vader said sympathetically. "We are searching for a means out of Xanth. Perhaps you can accompany us."  
  
Gale shook his head. "Xanth's magic keeps us alive. If we go back to Mundania, we cease to exist."  
  
"Besides, we like it here," Tracy added. "It's a very unique place."  
  
"Yeah," Luke replied. "Too bad we can't stay."  
  
"Which reminds me," Chang stated. "You mentioned a test."  
  
"Yes, well, the ogres like to do things their way," Matt explained. "And what an ogre wants, an ogre gets."  
  
"Not going to argue with you there," Luke replied.  
  
"So to get out of the Ogre-fen Ogre-fen, you have to impress the ogre community."  
  
"How do we do that?" asked Wara.  
  
"Ogres are proud of three things," Tracy said. "Their strength, their stupidity, and their bad looks. If you can prove the group of you are stupid, ugly, and strong -- more so than an ogre -- you pass the test. Otherwise, they do what they want with you."  
  
"Metal-face wins the ugly contest," Metria piped up.  
  
"Shut up," Luke hissed.  
  
"This could be tricky," Vader mused. "However, with a little planning... Tracy, do you have any cosmetics?"  
  
"Do I ever!" She ran out of the room and came out with a good-sized box. "Theatrical makeup. I was a big drama student before I came here."  
  
When the six of them exited the house fly, they saw the cabin surrounded by ogres and ogresses, all gathered to view the intruders. Upon seeing their group they began to applaud eagerly.  
  
For Tracy had given them the most hideous makeover ever. She had outlined the ridges and grooves of Vader's mask with white paint to highlight the bizarre features. Metria, declining makeup, has simply assumed the form of a Fury -- a wizened black-skinned crone with bat-like wings, a canine face, and snakes for hair. The others had teeth blacked out, hair standing on end, bags and wrinkles drawn in, and in general looked perfectly awful. Even Sammy was a sight, and the fact that he looked quite annoyed with his patchy brown dye job only made him look uglier.  
  
"So," Gale said brightly, coming out of the house, "would you all say they're suitably ugly?"  
  
"We say yes!" an ogress exclaimed. "We impress!"  
  
"Good," Metria grumped. "Can I change back?"  
  
"Not yet," Wara warned her.  
  
"Not done!" a one-eyed ogre declared. "They dumb?"  
  
Gale turned to the group. "Good question. Are you stupid?"  
  
Luke smirked. "One of you bend over and take a sniff of us."  
  
An ogre child, somewhat less repulsive-looking than his parents, squatted and snorted a breath through his pug nose. "Oh Dad, smell bad!"  
  
"We hit a stinkhorn plant," Jenny told them. "On purpose. Would any of you do that?"  
  
The ogres thought on that until their hair began to smoke with the effort -- thinking was a difficult task for an ogre.  
  
"No way, I say," an ogre finally said.  
  
"So we're definitely stupid, right?" Chang encouraged.  
  
"More stupid than an ogre," Vader finished.  
  
"We confess," an elderly ogre conceded. "We impress."  
  
"You strong?" the ogre child asked. "Or wrong?"  
  
Vader turned to the others. "It will be Luke and I who do this," he whispered, "but act as if you're concentrating on the task. Am I clear?"  
  
"Perfectly," Jenny replied.  
  
He turned to the ogres. "Who among you can lift the most weight?"  
  
"Be me!" a burly ogre declared.  
  
"Prove it." Vader ordered.  
  
The ogre casually strode over to the house fly and, with no effort at all, lifted it one-handed. The glade thundered with applause. The ogre beamed a crooked-toothed grin and set the house down.  
  
"Impressive," Vader noted. When the ogre offered him a puzzled expression, he clarified. "Very good. But can you lift the house -- without touching it?"  
  
The glade went silent. Every ogre fixed their gaze on their group expectantly.  
  
"Are you sure you can do this?" asked Wara nervously. "The house is so big."  
  
"Size matters not," Luke told them.  
  
Vader turned to look at him. "I see Yoda trained you. The best of the Jedi. Somehow I'm not surprised."  
  
Luke closed his eyes and slipped into the Force. He touched the energy given off by the house and the ground it rested on, tested the bond between them, and focused all his strength on that connection. A rush of strength at his side indicated Vader was doing the same. With a great effort on both their parts, they lifted the cabin.  
  
The ogres gasped, then gawked, then broke into deafening applause. The others looked surprised but kept up the charade of "levitating."  
  
"We impress!" the burly ogre cheered as they gently set the house down. "You the best!"  
  
Gale smiled at them. "Good job, friends. You're free to go."  
  
"No go!" another ogre shouted.  
  
"But they passed..." began Matt.  
  
"Where they go, eh?" asked the burly ogre.  
  
"Lake Eerie," said Jenny.  
  
The ogre smiled kindly, an action that somehow made him seem less ugly. "We take to lake."  
  
Vader bowed. "Thank you."  
  
Three ogres volunteered for the task, and after saying goodbye to Tracy, Matt, and Gale, they departed. Each ogre carried one traveler on each shoulder. It wasn't the most luxurious ride ever, but they were grateful for the chance to rest.  
  
The rocking motion of the ogre's strides, combined with the eventful morning, lulled Luke into a drowsy trance.  
  
***  
  
"Unfair!" Demon E(A/R)TH thundered, casting a fiery glare at his opponent. "I call a foul!"  
  
"It's perfectly fair," Demon X(A/N)TH retorted. "I'm able to intervene in this bet as much as you are. And besides, the Players were never supposed to encounter the chain letter in the first place."  
  
"They weren't supposed to face the plesiosaur, either," E(A/R)TH shot back.  
  
"Nor were they to face a flock of harpies."  
  
"Nor were they to face the rapids."  
  
"Suffice it to say that you have both interfered in the gamble too many times to be justified," a third World Demon put in.  
  
E(A/R)TH and X(A/N)TH cast contemptuous glances at Demon F(O/R)CE. They had been trying to pretend he didn't exist.  
  
"We weren't asking you, runt," X(A/N)TH said haughtily.  
  
"But it's my realm that's at stake here..." he began.  
  
E(A/R)TH sneered at him before resuming his argument with X(A/N)TH. F(O/R)CE could only sigh. This constant bickering and jockeying for position between the World Demons was the very reason he had relinquished his position among the cosmic entities. He had no use for their backstabbing, status-seeking ways and endless wagering. But if he wanted to retain his creation, he had to play their game.  
  
"Enough," Demon J(U/P)ITER ordered calmly.  
  
The other two World Demons stopped fighting. J(U/P)ITER was the highest of all the World Demons and so officiated over all wagers.  
  
"I have kept a careful watch over these proceedings," he went on. "And yes, an excessive amount of World Demon interference has occurred. I'm aware that the stakes are high -- F(O/R)CE's galaxy is an enviable prize -- but all this tampering with the Skywalkers' quest is inexcusable. You two are cheating outrageously in this gamble!"  
  
X(A/N)TH and E(A/R)TH exchanged sheepish glances.  
  
"Permission to speak freely, sir," F(O/R)CE requested.  
  
"Granted."  
  
"I wish for a chance to even the odds," he pleaded. "I'm aware that I am the least of the World Demons -- by my own choice -- but the lands in question are lands I crafted myself. And as you are aware, that gives me a part in this wager."  
  
"You gave up your right to control a world long ago!" E(A/R)TH snapped. "And you created an entire galaxy under our noses!"  
  
"And what would my galaxy profit you?" F(O/R)CE retorted.  
  
"A million worlds," breathed X(A/N)TH. "He who controlled them would be the mightiest World Demon of them all!"  
  
"Enough!" thundered J(U/P)ITER, making X(A/N)TH jump. "I must concede that F(O/R)CE is correct. The realm in question is his, however illicitly created. And he has a right to defend it."  
  
E(A/R)TH grumbled annoyedly while X(A/N)TH narrowed his eyes in contempt.  
  
"Demon F(O/R)CE, you receive one chance -- just one, mind -- to alter some event to better your odds," J(U/P)ITER told him. "Use it wisely."  
  
"Thank you." F(O/R)CE was slightly disappointed, but one chance was better than none.  
  
"However," J(U/P)ITER went on, "I have counted the times the other two have tampered with the wager, and E(A/R)TH has done so no less than twenty-eight times. X(A/N)TH, on the other hand, has only interfered twenty-five times. Thus, X(A/N)TH is also granted an opportunity to increase his chances of winning."  
  
"And what does this mean?" F(O/R)CE demanded suspiciously.  
  
"I get to give Luke Skywalker one final test," X(A/N)TH said gleefully. "If he fails, he's mine."  
  
***  
  
Luke awoke with a start. What was happening? World Demons? A gamble? What test? But the dream scrambled further out of reach the harder he tried to recall the specifics.  
  
He looked down at the ogre's shoulder. Imprinted in the thick skin was a hoofprint very similar to Chang's, except that in the center of the U was the image of a full moon.  
  
The hoofprint of a night mare. 


	17. Chapter 17 Gamble

Part XVII -- Gamble  
  
Vader knelt to study the footprint in the soft ground before them. A padded foot made this track, with exposed claws making tiny pits before the print. Some sort of dog or wolf, he theorized -- and a large one at that.  
  
"A werewolf would be my guess," Chang told him. "There are very few true dogs and wolves in Xanth."  
  
Vader stood to regard Lake Eerie. The lake certainly lived up to its name -- it was weirdly quiet and lifeless. No birds sang, no insects flitted through the air, no fish swam in the waters. The lake's surface was as calm and still as a newly polished mirror. Heavy fog shrouded the banks and dampened the surrounding ground. Aside from the mysterious tracks, there was no sign of life. Even the Force around the lake was strangely quiet.  
  
"I don't like this place," Metria announced, her usual bravado wavering.  
  
"Neither do I," Luke replied. "There's something unsettling about it."  
  
"Somehow it doesn't surprise me that Darius selected this location for his base of operations," said Vader.  
  
"Watch your step," cautioned Wara. "It's almost impossible to find your way around unless you're familiar with the area."  
  
"Sammy," Jenny ordered, setting the cat down, "find a safe path to Darius' headquarters."  
  
Sammy set off, going slowly to avoid stumbling over some hazard. Everyone followed cautiously.  
  
A forlorn howl pierced the mist. Vader halted.  
  
"What is it?" asked Jenny.  
  
"That came from close by," he replied.  
  
Wara gasped. They had reached the shore of the lake, and the pawprints were visible in the mud at the water's edge. Even as they watched, the tracks began to fill with water. So whatever this animal was, it was trailing them very closely.  
  
"Look," Luke whispered, pointing ahead. "There it is."  
  
Five meters down the path, a large dog stood and regarded them with intelligent amber eyes. Its build, shading, and facial structure suggested it had a healthy dose of wolf in its lineage, but its fur was black and brown rather than gray and white, with a single white patch on its chest. Its triangular ears flopped over, not standing erect. It was a simple mongrel, without any trace of magic or the Force that Vader could detect. But there was something in its eyes that indicated it was no mere animal.  
  
Sammy approached the dog. The two animals touched noses, then the cat sat down and looked expectantly at Jenny.  
  
"I think this dog will help us find Darius," said Jenny.  
  
"Well, that's unusual," Chang noted. "Most animals don't have magic -- with Sammy being an exception, of course."  
  
"Dogs can often sense things humans can't," Luke replied, kneeling and scratching the dog behind the ears. "Maybe the game sent him to help us out."  
  
"Her," Metria corrected. "She's a bitch."  
  
"She's not!" Luke defended. "She's a perfectly good dog!"  
  
"A female dog is called a bitch," Vader told him. "Metria meant no malice. For once."  
  
Luke blushed in embarrassment.  
  
"What do you say, girl?" Wara asked, patting the dog's head. "Can you help us find Darius?"  
  
She wagged her tail and opened her mouth in a canine smile. Then she turned and trotted a few paces. Turning her head toward them, she gave one short, deep whuff as if encouraging them to follow.  
  
"I suppose that's a yes," Wara said with a shrug.  
  
"Everyone follow the dog," Chang ordered.  
  
"Shouldn't we give her a name?" asked Luke as they set off.  
  
"You met the animal thirty seconds ago and already want to adopt her as a pet?" asked Vader amusedly.  
  
"No," Luke replied. "But I just don't want to refer to her as 'the dog' all the time."  
  
"How about Misty?" Jenny suggested. "Since we found her in the mists."  
  
"Sounds good," Luke conceded.  
  
Misty led their party first one way, then another, as if looping around hidden obstacles. Vader wondered how foolish they looked trusting their safety to a dog, but ceased questioning when, as they turned yet another corner, he accidentally kicked a stone out of sight. The hollow clatter as the rock fell down an unseen chasm seemed to be a warning not to question their unusual benefactor.  
  
Suddenly Misty halted and barked, her deep voice echoing through the fog. She didn't stop barking until everyone came to a stop.  
  
"What is it, girl?" asked Luke.  
  
Misty scooted off to the side of the path and barked twice. When no one responded she grabbed the hem of Wara's dress in her teeth and pulled insistently.  
  
"Do as she says," Luke ordered.  
  
"But she didn't say anything," Metria protested.  
  
"Follow the blasted dog!" Vader hissed.  
  
"Okay, okay, you big grouch," Metria grumbled.  
  
Quietly they followed Misty. She led them behind a house-sized boulder and sat down.  
  
"Something's coming," whispered Wara. "Something of the dream realm."  
  
A shadow separated itself from the mist, approaching their hiding place. Vader squinted, trying to see the threat clearly. But it abruptly vanished.  
  
"A night mare!" Wara whispered.  
  
"I've had enough problems with those," Luke groaned. He had told the others about his dream, and Jenny had explained that most dreams brought by the night mares were prophetic. But the fact that Luke couldn't remember the dream concerned Vader.  
  
The shape appeared again, closer this time. The body was that of a winged horse, Vader could see, but the head was indiscernible. Then it blinked out again.  
  
"It's not a pure night mare," Wara whispered. "It's a griffon-night mare crossbreed. Griffon-horse crossbreeds are usually hippogriffs, but a griffon-night mare crossbreed would be a hippogriff with the night mare ability of teleporting from one shadow or darkened area to another. And my guess is that it would be female, since there are many night mares but only one night stallion."  
  
Once again the creature came into view. Her head, chest, and wings were those of an eagle, and her legs, body, and tail were powerfully equine. Jet-black from beak to tail, her fierce red eyes glittered savagely as she slowly looked from side to side. Astride her back was a dark, lovely woman, bigger than an imp but smaller than Jenny, though she appeared to be adult. Though petite, she looked more a warrior than a damsel, for she wore armor and carried a sword.  
  
Misty growled.  
  
"Quiet, Misty," Vader ordered the dog, resting a placating hand on her head.  
  
"That looks like a goblin woman," Jenny whispered.  
  
"I thought goblins were ugly," Luke pointed out.  
  
"Not the women," Jenny replied. "The men are ugly and fierce, but the women are beautiful and kind." She hesitated. "Most of them, anyway."  
  
Another growl issued from Misty's throat. Her lips twitched in a snarl.  
  
"Steady," Luke urged. "Steady girl."  
  
"She'll blow our cover!" Chang hissed.  
  
The hippogriff let out a hawklike cry. The goblin woman stroked her feathered neck soothingly and murmured something Vader couldn't hear, then dismounted. Drawing her sword, she slowly approached the boulder. Vader saw Luke draw his blast-her, and he gripped his lightsaber tightly. A strike to her sword would disarm her, then if she pressed the fight they'd know her allegiance...  
  
But Misty beat him to the punch. She launched herself forward, knocking Vader aside, and landed at the goblin's feet, snarling her rage.  
  
The goblin dropped her sword, fell to all fours, and became a dark gray wolf, baring white teeth in a killer smile.  
  
"Goblin-werewolf cross!" Wara exclaimed. "I thought that woman looked familiar!"  
  
The hippogriff shrieked and vanished. The two canines smashed into each other, teeth flashing, bodies twisting around each other as they battled. A loud yelp of pain sounded, then faded into a vicious bedlam of snarls and growls.  
  
"Apparently one bitch knows another," Metria noted.  
  
"Let's retreat," Chang advised.  
  
"But the wolf'll kill Misty!" Jenny protested.  
  
"She's sacrificing herself to allow us to escape," Vader replied. "It is her choice. Now run!"  
  
They plunged through the mist, Metria going ahead to ensure there was no danger. Eventually the sounds of the dogfight faded behind them.  
  
"Are we lost?" asked Luke.  
  
"Isn't that oblivious?" Metria snapped.  
  
"What?" asked Wara.  
  
"Ignorant, clueless, clear, apparent..."  
  
"Obvious," Vader corrected.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"That boulder is a sort of landmark around here," Wara offered. "Unfortunately, it means we're on the wrong side of the lake. Darius' fortress is across the lake from it."  
  
Metria suddenly snarled, becoming a wolf. A canine form was loping toward them, limping slightly. The werewolf? Vader was in the process of reaching for his saber when the animal stopped and lifted its head. Even in the fog he could tell the creature's ears hung down rather than standing up.  
  
"At ease," he ordered the others. "It's Misty."  
  
The dog pawed the ground at Vader's feet and whined, as if trying to tell him something.  
  
"I don't understand you," he told her.  
  
Giving an exasperated snort, Misty began digging at the soft ground. Within seconds she'd revealed a round trapdoor with a ring-shaped handle and odd markings on its front. Barking once, she licked Luke's hand and disappeared into the mist. Vader felt strangely vulnerable without the dog's guidance.  
  
Luke yanked once at the handle. "Ungh. It's locked."  
  
Vader knelt to examine the door. There were nine tiles embedded in its surface, and each bore the image of a creature -- a man, a woman, a snake, a horse, a lion, an eagle, a centaur, a naga, and a griffon. He touched one tile and discovered it was moveable. A puzzle, perhaps? He began sliding the tiles around.  
  
Perhaps, he thought, seeing as Darius was so fixated with crossbreeds, that was what this door should depict in order for it to open. He began to group the tiles together -- the centaur, man, and horse together, then the naga, woman, and snake.  
  
"Those are interesting markings," Chang observed. "Perhaps if I could have a look and attempt to decipher them..."  
  
Sliding the griffon next to the lion and eagle, Vader completed the puzzle, grasped the ring, and pulled the door open.  
  
"...or we can just go down there," Chang finished lamely.  
  
"This must be a secret entrance to the fortress," Wara realized. "There are so many, only Darius knows of all of them."  
  
Luke went down first. "There's some sort of glowing stones in the walls, but it's still pretty dark down here. There's a tunnel that goes under the lake -- I can see that much."  
  
Metria took on the form of a lightning bug and darted down the tunnel. Vader lowered Jenny and Wara down before going himself. Chang went last, though it was a tight squeeze to get his ungainly equine body through the doorway. He only managed it by going tail-first and having Luke and Vader use the Force to guide him down.  
  
The passageway was large enough to be used as a shuttle tube, but the floor and ceiling were so irregular it made progress slow. Phosphorescent stones set into lanterns provided a little light, but it was Metria's glowing form that led them forward.  
  
"Are you sure you want to fight Darius, my friends?" Chang asked Luke and Vader.  
  
"Quite," Vader replied, ducking under a large stalactite. "It is the object of our game. According to the Good Magician, Darius is in possession of the prize. To obtain it, we must defeat him."  
  
"Must be some prize, seeing as you're so determined to find it," Wara noted.  
  
"The prize itself doesn't intrigue me," Vader answered. "As far as I know, winning the game is the only means by which we can escape Xanth alive."  
  
"That's not very fair," said Wara. "Win the game or die, no third option. You should be allowed to quit if you want."  
  
"You know, I really never asked Metria about that," said Luke.  
  
"And I'm not sure I've inquired directly of Jenny," added Vader.  
  
"Then inquire," Chang encouraged. "And let this be our battle. Wara and I are Xanthian and have direct quarrels with Darius. You are Mundanian, and thus far Darius has done nothing to you. I don't judge it fair for you two to perish defending a land that is not yours."  
  
"I'm staying to fight," Luke said firmly. "Any world that needs my help is my home, even if only temporarily."  
  
"Chang is right, Luke," Vader told him sternly. "The Empire needs me, and the Rebellion needs you. If Darius kills us or we are stranded in Xanth, not only will we die in vain, but our own world will suffer."  
  
He looked unhappy with Vader's explanation, but he didn't press the issue further. "Fine. Metria, how do we get out of the game?"  
  
The lightning bug flitted in circles over Luke's head, humming to herself.  
  
"Metria, answer my son," Vader ordered.  
  
"I'm thinking!" she snapped. "Ask the elf!"  
  
"Jenny, tell us how to exit the game," Vader requested.  
  
She looked very uncomfortable. "I... can't... tell you..."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
She looked away as if ashamed. Why was she so reluctant? Weren't Companions supposed to aid their Players? He hadn't overstepped some boundary, had he?  
  
Then a sickening thought occurred to him -- Jenny was a False Companion. Despite all her kindness and innocence, the game required her to betray him. And she had chosen to sabotage his progress by withholding the means of exiting the game. He would be trapped in Xanth, forced to continue playing until he either committed a fatal error or won the game -- and she might find a means to prevent the latter.  
  
He should have been infuriated by this, but he felt more pain at the realization than actual anger. Jenny had led him to believe she was his truest friend, then played him for a fool. The one who should have been his guide was instead his betrayer.  
  
Just as Obi-wan had betrayed him...  
  
"You're a False Companion," he hissed.  
  
She paled. "Lord Vader, please..."  
  
He turned his back on her. "Metria, tell us how to exit Xanth!"  
  
Metria continued to spin circles. "Gimmee a moment..."  
  
Luke reached up and caught Metria in his cupped hands. "It can't be that hard to tell us something about the game."  
  
She became a snake and hissed menacingly at him, and he dropped her, startled.  
  
"Look, Streetwalker, I can't tell you! End of story!"  
  
Luke stared at her. "Don't tell me I got a False Companion too!"  
  
"What are the odds of that?" said Wara, surprised. "Both of you getting False Companions in the same game."  
  
"Don't be angry, please," pleaded Jenny, tears filling her eyes. "It's not what you think."  
  
"I think," Vader said in a harsh voice, "that we deserve a full explanation. If you are False Companions, then we are done dealing with you. Confirm this so we may decide on a new course of action. But if you are true, then something is going on behind our backs. A true Companion would let us know of it."  
  
"We can't tell you!" cried Jenny, distraught. "Those are two things we're forbidden to tell!"  
  
"The elf's right, steel-skull!" snapped Metria. "So quit making her cry! She's been nothing but good to you, and you repay her by calling her a traitor!"  
  
"If she has been a False Companion all this time, I deserve to know!"  
  
"How many times do I have to tell you?! Companions can't tell..."  
  
"Everyone shut up!" someone rasped from behind.  
  
The group whirled.  
  
"The Good Magician!" exclaimed Chang.  
  
The old gnome stomped down the tunnel toward them, scowling annoyedly. He carried a torch in one hand and a book under his other arm. Dirt covered his robe skirts and boots, as if he'd walked the entire journey from his castle to Lake Eerie.  
  
"What's the old chop doing here?" asked Metria.  
  
"The old what?" asked Luke.  
  
"Slice, cut, fogey, geezer..."  
  
"Hack," Humphrey replied.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"I haven't much time," Humphrey replied. "So sit down, shut up, and listen to me." He let go of the book and torch, but instead of falling, the torch remained where it was while the book hovered flat in the air like a repulsor-desk. The Good Magician sat atop the book and faced the Players.  
  
"Do we have to sit?" asked Chang. "Centaurs aren't built for it."  
  
"No, but the 'shut up and listen' order is mandatory," Humphrey answered. "And stop accusing your Companions of lying to you. I gave them the order to withhold the means of exiting the game from you..."  
  
"YOU!" Vader shouted, taking an angry step forward.  
  
"I said shut up, Skywalker!" Humphrey snapped. "Just like you Skywalkers, acting without thinking. My message is important, and I can't deliver it if you strangle me to death." He waited for the Sith to subside. "That's better. I had my reasons for keeping information from you, though in retrospect I see the decision to do so wasn't entirely fair."  
  
"He's right," Jenny said with a sniff, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "He helped design the game, and he told all the Companions that you two weren't to know how to leave."  
  
"Why can't we leave Xanth?" asked Luke.  
  
"You can at any time," Humphrey replied. "It's a simple matter. Were you still at your keyboard, you would press ALT-ESCAPE. Here in Xanth, simply tell your Companion 'I hereby quit the game' and wait for them to ask if you're sure about quitting, then give an affirmative answer. But you must understand the consequences of that action before you do so."  
  
"What do you mean?" demanded Vader.  
  
Humphrey turned to Luke. "Tell us about your dream."  
  
Luke shook his head. "I don't remember it."  
  
"Naturally," huffed the Magician. "It's human nature. We tend to block out unpleasant memories. We remember that broken bones hurt, but we don't remember the intensity of the pain. Women forget the pain of childbirth -- and a good thing, or we'd all be only children." He reached into his robes and drew out a stoppered flask of bright blue liquid, which he handed to Luke. "Extract of forget-whorl treated with reverse wood. A potion to refresh your memory."  
  
Luke uncorked the flask and drank the stuff, grimacing at the taste.  
  
"Now share your dream," Humphrey requested.  
  
Luke shut his eyes as he tried to recall. "There were four beings... demons. Not like Metria, but powerful, all-knowing. Three of them were gambling over something, and it looked like two of them were ganging up on the third. The fourth seemed to be some sort of official or moderator."  
  
Humphrey nodded grimly. "You saw the immortal and omnipotent World Demons, the beings who control the worlds. Xanth is governed by Demon X(A/N)TH. Demon E(A/R)TH is in charge of Mundania. Your galaxy is run by Demon F(O/R)CE."  
  
"You mean they're not Mundanian?" asked Wara.  
  
"No, they are not from Mundania," Humphrey snapped. "Their universe is simply called 'Star Wars,' or in some parts 'The Galaxy Far, Far Away' -- GFFA for short. It, like Xanth, is considered fictional by the denizens of Mundania. But that's beside the point." He coughed. "These World Demons cast wagers to pass the time, gambling on the outcomes of quests, wars, disasters, elections, and other major events in their realms. But these are no idle bets! The prizes of these wagers are entire worlds, as well as an elevation of status. J(U/P)ITER is the highest of all, having gotten there through a series of lucky wagers. He oversees all the bets and gambles.  
  
"This game was created to settle a bet between E(A/R)TH and X(A/N)TH, with the prize being control of Xanth itself. Now the two Demons are gambling again, this time on the outcome of your quest. The prize -- the GFFA."  
  
"You mean our galaxy?" asked Luke, stunned.  
  
"Yes, your galaxy. You see, Demon F(O/R)CE abdicated his position among the World Demons eons ago. He was tired of their silly games and was content to be a spectator. But his uninvolvement in the wagers meant he had millennia worth of free time, and eventually he grew bored. To fill his idle time he created a world, calling it Corusant. Then he formed another world, and another, and another... until he had an entire galaxy on his hands. Governing the affairs of this galaxy was a difficult job, but he was grateful for the diversion."  
  
"Don't the other World Demons manage their worlds?" asked Vader.  
  
"Their primary concern is their status and gambling, but yes, they tend to their realms' affairs, some more than others. But they were outraged to discover F(O/R)CE had a galaxy at his command. They believed he gave up the right to rule a world when he gave up his position among them. So E(A/R)TH and X(A/N)TH are currently vying for control of the GFFA.  
  
"Each selected a being from F(O/R)CE's galaxy to participate in X(A/N)TH's game, as well as a Mundanian from E(A/R)TH's realm to record the matter. They saw to it that a Rebel pilot obtained a copy of 'Companions of Xanth,' a portable gateway into Xanth. The pilot was able to give the game, intentionally or not, to both of you. X(A/N)TH selected Darth Vader as his Player, while E(A/R)TH chose Luke Skywalker. In short, if Vader defeats Darius and wins the prize, X(A/N)TH wins the wager and control of the GFFA. But if Luke defeats Darius, E(A/R)TH wins."  
  
"What if neither of them defeat Darius?" asked Chang. "What if they die before they complete the game, or one of the others in our traveling party destroys him?"  
  
"Then the game is a draw and two more beings are chosen to settle the wager."  
  
"But what about our galaxy?" asked Luke. "What's going to happen to us when F(O/R)CE loses control of it?"  
  
"That depends on who wins the game," Humphrey replied. "E(A/R)TH is a strict ruler of Mundania and its inhabitants, keeping a firm control over their actions -- and forbidding magic entirely. X(A/N)TH is far more liberal, allowing his creatures to do as they please, and gives them unrestricted access to magic. F(O/R)CE is somewhere in the middle. He will interfere with the GFFA when necessary but normally allows the denizens to make their own choices, and he allows a limited form of magic to be used by a select group of people -- what you call the Force."  
  
Luke's eyes widened. "If E(A/R)TH wins, the Force ceases to exist. Neither the Jedi nor the Sith have any more power, and the galaxy falls deeper into war and confusion. Without the Force to restore order, we're doomed."  
  
"And if X(A/N)TH wins, chaos reigns," Vader added, the full implication of the situation sinking in. "We are totally unprepared for the madness that infests Xanth to overtake our galaxy. It will take centuries, perhaps millennia, for the galaxy to adjust -- if it doesn't self-destruct completely first."  
  
Humphrey nodded gravely. "Then you understand the gravity of the situation. You aren't as thick as I first thought."  
  
"Then either way, their world is doomed?" asked Wara sadly.  
  
"Not entirely," Humphrey replied. "Much to the dismay of both E(A/R)TH and X(A/N)TH, F(O/R)CE was allowed to participate in the wager as well. If Luke and Vader can work together to defeat Darius, with minimal aid from the others, F(O/R)CE receives a position among the World Demons and is allowed to keep the GFFA."  
  
Had Humphrey demanded they work together at the beginning of the game, Vader would have written the situation off as hopeless. But in the past week, he and Luke had managed to establish a comradeship of sorts. They could work together -- and would, if it meant preserving their home realm.  
  
"But there was something about a test," Luke recalled. "In the dream, X(A/N)TH said he got to give me one more test."  
  
The Magician set his lips in a serious line. "F(O/R)CE has played fair thus far, but that decision has proven costly. For though the Demons are forbidden from tampering with any event on which the outcome of a wager depends, that rule is rarely observed. E(A/R)TH is greedy for more land and higher status, and as he hasn't been able to take Xanth as his own, he has interfered with your own quest to an alarming degree. X(A/N)TH does not normally attempt to rig a bet in his favor, but in this case he has done so as well, though not to the extent his rival has.  
  
"Luke's dream was a vision of J(U/P)ITER calling E(A/R)TH and X(A/N)TH to task. Because F(O/R)CE has not tampered with your quest at all, he has been granted one chance to alter some event to increase his odds of winning. Unfortunately, because X(A/N)TH has not cheated as much as his competitor has, he is granted a final opportunity to interfere with the quest."  
  
"Then Luke is in danger," Vader realized.  
  
"Not necessarily," Humphrey corrected. "X(A/N)TH is cunning. He may attempt to destroy Luke, enabling Vader to win. Or he may kill his own Player, hoping Luke will either forfeit or be so distraught by the loss that he will make a deadly mistake. Or he may destroy Darius, eliminating your objective. If he cannot win the game, he will settle for forcing a draw, and a rematch will be in order."  
  
"Do you know the outcome of the battle?" asked Jenny.  
  
The Good Magician suddenly looked very old. "No, Jenny. I do not."  
  
"But you're the Good Magician!" protested Metria. "You know everything!"  
  
"I know the future to an extent -- when it concerns Xanth. The affairs of World Demons are unknown to me, but I can make an educated guess. But when it's another world entirely..." He shook his head. "I can be of no more help, except to advise you all.  
  
"Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader, this is a pivotal battle for your realm, though no one knows of it but you. You may elect to quit now, but then your galaxy's fate rests in the hands of other, less competent beings. Not only does the fate of Xanth depend on you, but the fate of the Empire, Rebellion, and all worlds of F(O/R)CE's creation.  
  
"This is a heavy burden to bear, and I don't blame you if you have no desire to continue the game -- though I'd hardly call it a game anymore. The choice is yours. Press on or exit the game. But either way, choose carefully, and be aware of the possible repercussions. Be wary. Trust the Force. And trust your Companions, for neither of them are False. On the contrary, they are your truest allies in Xanth and would die to protect you.  
  
"Jenny and Metria, neither F(O/R)CE nor X(A/N)TH can influence you, so do not fear you are being manipulated. Protect your Companions with your lives, but do not complete the quest for them. Jenny, trust in your heart. Metria, use some common sense for once. And work together.  
  
"Chang and Wara, be careful. Think before you act. Demon X(A/N)TH may use you as pawns if you aren't cautious. If any idea you may have seems suspicious, don't execute it. If you make a mistake, err on the side of caution. And trust in your newfound bond, for love is the strongest form of magic there is... and it could very well save both Xanth and the GFFA."  
  
The Magician stood, and torch and book flew into his hands. He turned around and walked out of sight, the flickering glow of his torch fading.  
  
Luke and Vader exchanged nervous glances, more unsure about this quest than ever before. 


	18. Chapter 18 Darius Dracotaur

Part XVIII -- Darius Dracotaur  
  
Vader was the first one to speak. "This is madness."  
  
"Of course it is," Metria replied, becoming human again. "Anything dealing with demons is crazy."  
  
"Why weren't we told of this?" Luke demanded.  
  
"Would you play a game if you were informed that participating would mean you would be required to save the galaxy?" Chang asked.  
  
"Good point," Luke replied.  
  
"What will you do?" asked Wara.  
  
"For now," Vader replied gravely, "we carry on. We will go up against Darius and plan things from there. There is nothing more we can do than that."  
  
The ground trembled with the approach of a massive creature. A huge wormlike head emerged from the stone floor before them. It looked somewhat like a diggle, but it was covered with a fine coat of fur and had two curved ivory horns growing atop its head.  
  
"Are you the Players?" it asked in a guttural, gravelly voice.  
  
"Yes," Luke answered hesitantly.  
  
"Good," it replied. "Follow me."  
  
"Why should we?" demanded Metria.  
  
The diggle grinned toothily. "Otherwise I eat you."  
  
Vader nodded. "We will go with you. Not because we fear you, but because we wish to see Darius. I suppose you work for him."  
  
The diggle grinned again, a grin that looked more goofy than savage. "Of course I do! I'm a crossbreed, if that wasn't apparent. I'm Yanni Yak-diggle-centaur." He set off, gliding through the stone without leaving a mark. The others followed.  
  
"Odd mix," Chang noted.  
  
"Oh, there's a story behind that," Yanni replied. "My father was a crossbreed of a centaur and a yak -- basically, a hairier-than-normal centaur with horns and a constant urge to say what was on his mind. He joined the crossbreed army and, at Darius' request, got married to a creature of a completely different species -- in this case, a diggle. The mix of an intelligent, talkative creature and a stupid, earth-traveling creature created me, a creature of almost normal intelligence with the yak ability to speak, the diggle ability to phase through stone, and a talent courtesy of my centaur lineage."  
  
"Talent?" repeated Wara.  
  
"At first all I could do was change the color of flowers. Exciting, huh? But Darius changed it into the talent of summoning carnivorous animals." He grinned again. "A very powerful talent."  
  
Luke said nothing as their party trailed Yanni. He was still in a state of semi-shock from the Good Magician's explanation of their quest. The fate of the galaxy hinged on the outcome of their showdown with Darius! It was an overwhelming thought. But how could they not try? He would rather work with Vader to take on Darius than trust another duo to accomplish the matter. And they had come this far. They were so close! They couldn't turn back now!  
  
He saw Vader lean forward to talk to Jenny. "I apologize, Jenny, for accusing you of being False."  
  
"That's all right," she said with an understanding smile. "I can see how you'd think me False for not telling you how to get out of the game."  
  
Luke turned to Metria. "And I'm sorry, too."  
  
"Don't be," Metria replied. "Just kiss me when this is all over and we'll call it rectangle."  
  
"Call it what?"  
  
"Rhombus, quadrilateral, cube, polygon..."  
  
"Square," Yanni offered.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
The passageway began to brighten as blazing torches replaced glowing stones on the walls. They seemed to be entering an underground village, with tunnels branching off from the main path toward store rooms and individual living areas. And crossbreeds were in abundance -- beings with six or more sets of limbs, beings with wings or horns that looked out of place on them, beings that looked insubstantial or glowed or had smoke coming out of their mouths, and all sorts of weird combinations. As Yanni and his prisoners continued on, the onlookers stopped what they were doing and joined in the trek, as if Darius' entire army was going to escort them to him.  
  
A centaur, obviously with some demon blood, appeared at Luke's side and walked alongside him, giving Luke an unsettling grin. He was joined by a sort of reverse-naga man with a serpent's head. The snake-man hissed something, and the two of them gave a nasty laugh. A woman with feathered wings in place of arms and a snake's body and tail in place of legs joined the three of them, and they were soon joking and grinning over what they planned to do with the intruders.  
  
"No," whispered Wara.  
  
"What is it?" asked Luke.  
  
"They're taking us to the audience chamber."  
  
The cavern they entered was as bright as day, large enough to house a blockade runner, and supported with elaborately carved pillars. The crossbreeds gathered along the walls, talking and laughing. Yanni led them to the center of the chamber and waited.  
  
"Darius wants to meet you himself," he told them.  
  
"We've been looking forward to meeting him," Vader replied.  
  
Yanni grinned. "Relax, friends. He doesn't bite. Often."  
  
Two armored soldiers entered the audience chamber from a nearby passageway -- one the goblin-werewolf, one arm in a sling and glaring at their party accusingly; the other a troll with the horns and lower body of a goat. They stood at attention and saluted as Darius emerged.  
  
He was surprisingly good-looking, with pleasant features, shoulder-length chestnut hair, and a neatly trimmed beard and mustache. His human arms and torso were muscular but not to the point of being bulky, with the leather straps of a shoulder-scabbard crossing his chest. His dragon body and legs glittered a metallic green, with each scale outlined in gold, and yellow-webbed wings lay folded along his spine. As he stopped before the Players to regard them, his spade-tipped tail curled along his left side.  
  
"My comrades," he boomed, "our time for glory is almost upon us, and Xanth is ripe for the taking!"  
  
Cheers echoed through the cavern.  
  
"We have waited many years for this moment. We, who have been persecuted, shunned, banished, ridiculed, and tormented for our birthrights all this time, will take our place in Xanth as its rightful heirs. Those who have seen us as inferior will pay dearly for their deeds."  
  
The crowd roared at the end of every sentence. The fanaticism exhibited here sent a shiver up Luke's spine. He'd met plenty of crazed people in his life, but these beings were some of the worst he'd seen.  
  
"And how seriously does Xanth take our threat?" asked Darius, a ripple of amusement in his voice. "Look at the best they have to send against us!"  
  
The room burst into mocking laughter.  
  
His brilliant green eyes rested on Luke. "A human boy, hardly old enough to be called a man. Doesn't look like much of a fighter."  
  
"Looks can be deceiving, Darius," Luke warned. "Don't underestimate us."  
  
Darius elected to ignore him. "A demoness." His mouth quirked in a grin. "I'm partial to demons, you know. It was a demon who gave me my talent."  
  
"Whoever that demon was, he was an unutterable clod to waste a good talent on you," Metria shot back.  
  
"An elf girl, a mere child," Darius went on. "What is a child doing in the midst of an assassination team?"  
  
"I may be young," Jenny told him, "but I've seen enough of Xanth to know how to protect myself -- and others."  
  
He looked at Vader. "An apparent crossbreed of human and machine. Never saw one before."  
  
"Really," Vader remarked dryly. "I must admit you're the first centaur-dragon-jackass crossbreed I've seen in Xanth."  
  
If the comment irked Darius, he didn't show it. "A centaur. You look somehow familiar. Yes, the former elder of Centaur Isle. How does it feel to be an outcast, Chang?"  
  
"You altered my talent in an attempt to hurt me, Darius," Chang replied. "And the initial blow was painful. But you also gave me something of great value -- the ability to shed my prejudice of magic and find true love."  
  
"And Wara." Darius gave a warm smile that didn't reach his eyes. "You've returned to us. Tell me -- which of these... unusual specimens have you chosen to be your mate?"  
  
"None of your business," Wara said firmly. "I'm not going to be your pawn, Darius. I'm better than that."  
  
Darius slunk forward a step, scales rasping menacingly. "You all talk with an awful lot of confidence for creatures about to be slaughtered."  
  
"We'll see about that," Luke replied.  
  
"We don't tolerate trespassers," Darius went on. "But as you have come on so noble a cause as to attempt to overthrow me, I'll give you a chance." His smile faded, replaced with a cold calculating look. "You against my army. If you can survive against them for fifteen minutes, you may go free provided you never return to Lake Eerie."  
  
Luke glanced at Vader. The Dark Lord nodded once. He looked at Jenny, and she smiled and slid a hand into her bag. Luke grinned, catching on.  
  
"Agreed," Luke told him.  
  
Darius reached over his shoulder, grasped the hilt of his sword, and drew it with a hissing ring. "Draw your weapons."  
  
Luke pulled out his blast-her. There was a snap-hiss as Vader ignited his saber. Chang nocked an arrow while Wara and Metria assumed alternate forms -- Wara her unicorn form, Metria the shape of a heavily armored dragon. Jenny delved into her pack and withdrew...  
  
"A flute?" Darius sneered. "You intend to play us your own funeral march?"  
  
"Watch it, boss!" shouted the harpy-naga. "It might be magic! It could put us all to sleep or..."  
  
Jenny put the flute to her lips and played five clear notes in an ascending scale. Absolute silence reigned as the army waited tensely for something to happen. When Darius' disdainful laughter rang through the chamber, everyone jumped at the shock.  
  
"Pretty playing, elf child, but it appears your spell failed." He raised his voice. "Kill them all!"  
  
The crossbreed army encircled them on all sides, and that circle was slowly constricting around their group. Darius' soldiers readied swords, knives, spears, bows, fangs, and claws for battle.  
  
A familiar crack sounded, and confusion spread through Darius' ranks as they were fired on from behind. The ring broke apart, and the audience cavern was soon filled with the sound of pitched battle.  
  
"Imps!" cried Darius unbelievingly, whirling to face this new threat.  
  
"That's right!" Jenny replied. "Your friend was right -- the flute was magic! I used it to summon the army of Imp Ire!"  
  
The petite troopers swarmed into the cavern, some on foot, others on hoverbikes, still others mounted on miniature dewbacks, though the creatures' slippery backs made riding difficult. Most of the crossbreeds towered over the soldiers, but the imps had the advantage of greater numbers and superior military training. Plus, their small size made them trickier targets.  
  
Darius had been quite surprised by the appearance of the imp army, but he recovered quickly. He turned to flee but found the way blocked by a snarling Metria.  
  
Vader grabbed a winged elf man as he ran by, ripped his sword from his hands, flung him aside, and offered the weapon to Luke. "We'll take Darius together," he explained.  
  
"Never thought I'd be fighting a battle alongside you rather than against you," Luke noted, taking the sword.  
  
"Frankly, it surprises me as well," Vader replied.  
  
Darius turned to face them, sword raised. Vader struck first, his lightsaber humming through the air. It struck Darius' blade, but it didn't cut through the metal as expected. Instead, both blades locked against each other.  
  
"Surprised?" the dracotaur asked. "You should be. This blade's enchanted. It's unbreakable." He thrust upward and lunged for Vader's midsection.  
  
Luke swung at Darius' flank, and he was forced to break off his attack to block the blow. Vader pressed his advantage, slicing a shallow but painful channel down Darius' right side.  
  
Darius was an excellent swordsman, but he was no match for a Jedi and a Sith. They soon had him backed into a corner, and with a solid conjoined blow they struck his weapon from his hands.  
  
"Your reign of tyranny ends, Darius," Vader said menacingly.  
  
Darius said nothing, but a slight smirk betrayed him.  
  
Luke sensed danger just behind them, and he whirled to fend off Yanni's lunge. The diggle hissed in pain from the wound in his muzzle, then bared his teeth and struck again. This time Luke plunged the weapon through his lower jaw and into his brain. Yanni rasped a death scream and crashed to the cavern floor.  
  
Vader, meanwhile, was fending off the demon-centaur, who seemed to have inherited his demon parent's shape-shifting ability. He was now a griffon, hovering just over Vader and slashing at him with talons and beak. Luke rammed the beast with the Force, knocking him out of the air, and he squawked dismay as he landed in a tangle.  
  
An imp wearing the shoulder pauldron of sergeant slowed his dewback to a halt before the two of them. "Sergeant Imp Ressive at your command," he informed them. "We received your signal and brought a legion of our finest troopers via wormhole to help you out."  
  
"Very good," Vader replied. "Spread through the caverns and capture as many of the crossbreeds as possible. But leave the dracotaur for us."  
  
"Yes sir," said Ressive, and he set off to give the orders to his men.  
  
Metria charged by at that moment, flames flickering from her mouth as she pursued the harpy-naga. Wara was carrying Jenny and biting and kicking any who approached her, while Chang loosed arrows into the fray with deadly precision. The audience chamber was chaos, but Darius was nowhere to be seen.  
  
The goblin-werewolf spotted Luke and pulled out a dagger, throwing it his way. He batted it aside with the Force and retaliated with a blast-her shot. It grazed her left side.  
  
Suddenly Luke was struck with dizziness. He staggered. The goblin-werewolf took advantage of his moment of weakness to throw another dagger, which whistled through the air like a silver comet. Reflexively he tried to draw on the Force to block it.  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
It was only by sheer luck that he evaded the blade, and even then it sliced open his arm. He ducked behind a pillar and tried to figure out what had just happened.  
  
"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" called the goblin-werewolf tauntingly.  
  
Luke attempted a mind trick -- not as part of a plan, but simply to ascertain what he feared. It failed, confirming it. He had somehow lost control of the Force.  
  
Another dagger struck the pillar, and chips of stone stung his face. That gave him an idea...  
  
"Shall we play hide-and-seek then?" teased his opponent. "Well, ready or not, here I come!"  
  
He drew his blast-her and fired -- but not at her. The bolt exploded against the ceiling, at the base of a stalactite. The stone spike hurtled down and struck the goblin-werewolf. Her armor saved her from being impaled, but the blow stunned her and knocked her to the floor. Five imps immediately swarmed over the dazed woman and took her prisoner.  
  
The reverse-naga fired an arrow at him, and in the process of dodging it Luke caught a flash of green-gold in a doorway. Darius watched the proceedings with a grim expression from his relatively safe position. When he met Luke's gaze, however, a triumphant smirk broke through.  
  
"Sith!" he hissed, turning the stone at his feet black. Darius had altered his talent! He was no longer able to use the Force!  
  
Vader was a veritable cyclone of destruction to Luke's left, his lightsaber spinning in a deadly dance. Darius' gaze went to the Sith, and he smiled wickedly.  
  
"Watch out!" Luke shouted.  
  
The reverse-naga chose then to loose an arrow in Vader's direction. He turned and extended a hand in a blocking gesture to deflect the arrow, having misinterpreted Luke's cry of warning.  
  
Darius flicked a hand as if brushing away a speck of dust.  
  
The arrow landed squarely in Vader's chest.  
  
"NO!"  
  
Even through the mask, Vader's expression of shock was evident. His entire body went lax, and his lightsaber slipped from his hand and clattered away. It seemed to take an age for him to fall, as if he were some ancient tree.  
  
"FATHER!"  
  
He fell to his knees beside the cyborg's body, oblivious to the chaos around him. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be happening! They were so close! And now he'd just lost his ally... and his father.  
  
Darius' mocking laughter reached his ears. "Not so cocky when you lose a member of your group, eh?"  
  
Luke didn't stop to think. He snatched Vader's lightsaber and locked the blade on. With a scream of rage he flung the weapon at the dracotaur. Even without the Force to guide him, his aim was dead-on, and the blade hissed toward Darius' heart.  
  
But Chang, who had witnessed the entire episode, intervened. He fired an arrow at the flying weapon, striking its handle and knocking it off course. The blade bit deep into Darius' shoulder, and in the process of falling to the ground it sliced into his wing as well. His mouth locked open in a soundless scream of agony.  
  
"Finish him off, Chang!" Luke shouted.  
  
"No, Luke!" the centaur replied. "Remember what the Good Magician told us! You very nearly handed victory to E(A/R)TH!"  
  
"He killed my father!"  
  
"Your father lives! He breathes! Look!"  
  
Luke stared at Vader, trembling with anger. His chest still rose and fell -- barely. His breath came out in high-pitched wheezes. He was alive, but only just.  
  
"Help me carry him out of here, Chang!" Luke shouted, struggling to lift him. Stars, he seemed to weigh a ton!  
  
"Let me," Metria cut in. She bent down and picked him up in her mouth like a hatchling, carrying him into a nearby tunnel.  
  
As they retreated, Darius' shout followed them out.  
  
"Don't think you can hide from me!" 


	19. Chapter 19 Pillars

Part XIX -- Pillars  
  
As soon as they were in a deserted stretch of tunnel, Metria set Vader down gently and assumed human form. Luke knelt at his side and grabbed the arrow's shaft.  
  
"No, Luke, don't..." cautioned Chang.  
  
With a yank he extracted the arrow. Blood welled up in the wound, and Luke ripped off a section of his sleeve and pressed the fabric to his chest to stop the flow.  
  
"You were lucky," Chang told him. "Some arrows do more damage coming out than going in."  
  
Hoofbeats rang through the tunnel, and Wara rounded the curve, carrying Jenny.  
  
"No!" Jenny cried, sliding down the unicorn's side and running to her Player. "Lord Vader!"  
  
"How badly is he hurt?" asked Wara, assuming human form.  
  
"Very badly, I'm afraid," Chang replied gravely. "He appears to have suffered lung damage, and as his respiratory system was weak to begin with..."  
  
"He's getting worse!" Luke cried. "I can't stop the bleeding!"  
  
"The arrow must have pierced an artery," noted Metria. "I'd help you, but demons don't have healing powers."  
  
"I can send Sammy after some elixir..." began Jenny.  
  
"Darius doesn't keep healing elixir in storage," Wara cut off. "He believes if a soldier cannot recover from an injury on his own, he's not worth saving."  
  
"Can the Force heal people?" asked Jenny pleadingly.  
  
"I... I no longer have the Force," Luke moaned. "Darius... changed my magic."  
  
"What?!" shrieked Metria. "No fair! If it weren't for the whole World Demon gamble, I'd turn dragon and chomp that fiend!"  
  
Luke's vision blurred with tears. How could this happen? A matter of weeks ago, he would have given anything to see Vader killed. But not now, not when the fate of the entire galaxy rode on the two of them. Not when Luke needed him so desperately -- not simply Luke the Player, but Luke Skywalker, son of Anakin.  
  
The memory of Bespin, of Vader taunting him, tempting him, of the searing agony of losing his hand, of betrayal and fury, ripped through his mind. How could he feel this way toward the man who had caused him so much pain? Who had caused the galaxy so much agony and grief? This man was a Sith, a mass murderer, a corrupt military leader, the second-in-command of a harsh and twisted totalitarian government...  
  
But this man was also his father. There was no more denying it. Obi-wan may have lied to Luke, but that didn't change the truth that the Force had screamed at him. For years he'd looked for a man to call father... and found it behind a steel mask. His flesh and blood, his only family, lay dying here. And though the galaxy had long wished for the Dark Lord's death, it would be a vast tragedy in more ways than one.  
  
His head fell to the armored chest. Sobs shook his body.  
  
"You can't die," he whispered hoarsely. "I won't let you. I can't lose you. I'd do anything in my power to have you back."  
  
"Luke?" Wara asked. "What are you doing?"  
  
Wasn't that obvious? He was grieving...  
  
"Luke, your hand!" exclaimed Metria.  
  
He glanced up. The hand pressed against Vader's chest, holding the dressing down, was glowing with an eerie green light. Startled, he jerked back.  
  
"What the stang?" he demanded.  
  
The glow faded. What in the galaxy had that been? He carefully peeled the cloth from Vader's wound. The bleeding had stopped, and the edges of the gash had partially drawn together.  
  
"Whatever you were doing, keep doing it!" Jenny encouraged. "It's helping him!"  
  
"My talent," Luke realized. "Darius can't control what he changes my talent to. He can only alter it and hope for the worst. But it's become the talent of healing wounds!"  
  
"Then heal your dad before he croaks!" Metria advised.  
  
He pressed his hand to the injury, willing it to heal. The light returned, more intense than ever. Vader's breathing evened out and returned to normal, and he stirred with a deep groan.  
  
"Luke?" he whispered.  
  
He drew his hand away. The wound was gone, and his armor had closed over it as if there had never been an injury.  
  
Vader struggled to sit up. Luke grabbed his arm to help him up, and the two of them stared at each other for a long time.  
  
"Why did you do that?" Vader asked finally, stunned. "Why did you save me?"  
  
Luke could think of a thousand reasons -- because he was his father. Because he couldn't go on alone. Because he wanted to know more about his family. Because the fate of Xanth and their galaxy depended on the two of them. But the words wouldn't come.  
  
Vader chuckled softly. "Now you know a little how I felt at the river," he told him.  
  
Luke put his arms around his father, letting that action convey what he couldn't say. Vader returned the embrace. He was hugging his father! How he wished he could have done this as a child. Even without the Force, they could feel the emotions flowing between them.  
  
Metria ended it, naturally. "Oh, enough with the mush already! We have a deadline!"  
  
Luke glared at the demoness. "You really need a soul, Metria."  
  
She didn't comment.  
  
"You're all right!" cried Jenny, throwing her arms around Vader's neck.  
  
"I don't understand," Vader complained as Chang helped him stand. "I should have blocked that arrow. But the last thing I remember before it hit was a moment of vertigo."  
  
"Darius changed our talents," Luke explained. "We can no longer use the Force."  
  
"I suspect the Demon X(A/N)TH engineered this," Chang theorized. "He hoped Luke would forfeit the game upon Vader's death. But his plan backfired, seeing as Luke nearly killed Darius himself."  
  
"Did you really?" Vader demanded.  
  
"Don't look at me like I'm a criminal!" Luke shot back. "I wasn't thinking clearly. How can you expect someone to act rationally when they just saw someone they care for die?"  
  
Vader looked tragically thoughtful. "I know the feeling, Luke," he replied quietly.  
  
"But F(O/R)CE intervened as well," Wara pointed out. "He ensured that Luke's talent was that of healing, so he could heal Vader's wounds and they could go on to defeat Darius."  
  
Luke considered. "I wonder... give me your hand."  
  
Vader extended his hand. Luke took it in his and concentrated on the Sith, willing his damaged lungs to heal. Nothing happened.  
  
He sighed. "Sorry." He dropped Vader's hand. "My talent only works on recent injuries, I guess."  
  
"Unfortunate," Vader replied.  
  
"What's Vader's new talent?" wondered Jenny.  
  
"This could be interesting," Metria noted. "A wild talent. It could be anything from the power to make a colored dot on the wall to the power to alter the past to anything in between. The possibilities are virtually endless. He could summon animals, read minds, predict someone's death, purify water, turn creatures to stone, conjure plants..."  
  
"We get the point, Metria," Chang interrupted.  
  
"Try it on the wall there," Jenny suggested. "See if something happens. Focus on a spot."  
  
Vader turned to face the tunnel wall. Almost immediately a patch on the wall began to glow scarlet, as if someone on the other side were trying to melt their way through with a plasma torch. Cracks snaked through the stone like jags of lightning. The red patch bulged -- and exploded. The blast left a deep crater in the stone and spit gravel at them.  
  
"Wow!" exclaimed Jenny, awed.  
  
"I'll say," Luke added.  
  
"Hmph, not bad," grunted Metria.  
  
"What exactly is it?" asked Wara.  
  
"The talent of destruction," Chang replied. "This is quite unusual."  
  
"What is?" asked Metria. "The fact that iron-face and Skydrummer have a paired talent? What's so unusual about that?"  
  
"A paired talent?" Vader inquired.  
  
"Sometimes two people -- most often siblings and especially twins, but occasionally a parent and child, or two lovers -- will have talents that go well together," explained Chang. "For example, one may be able to summon flying beasts, another swimming beasts. Or one can conjure fire and another water. You two have such a paired talent -- destruction and healing. They go together. But the fact that you were both randomly given those talents and weren't born with them makes this very unusual."  
  
"Not randomly," Jenny replied. "Demon F(O/R)CE must have done it. Few things in Xanth are random."  
  
"So our talents will help us win the game," Luke added.  
  
"The question is how," Vader mused.  
  
Sergeant Ressive entered the tunnel at that moment. He saluted.  
  
"Walker of the Sky, we've captured or destroyed roughly half of the crossbreed army with minimum losses to our troops," he reported. "My men are in pursuit of the rest. We have yet to locate Darius, but we are reasonably sure he remains in the underground village. The audience chamber has been cleared out."  
  
"Good work, Sergeant," Vader told him. "Let us inspect the audience chamber. It may hold a clue."  
  
The chamber reeked of scorched rock and was covered in black blotches. Imp troops were busy recovering their dead or tending to injuries. Four squads of them were hauling away the body of the dead yak-diggle. Others patrolled the area.  
  
Luke spotted Vader's lightsaber laying at the base of a pillar, and as he stooped to pick it up he saw letters carved into the pillar's surface. The script was ridiculously ornate, so it took him time to decipher it fully.  
  
"Strength," he read. "A Pillar of Strength."  
  
"Who'd write that on a pillar?" demanded Metria.  
  
"They all have words written on them," Wara replied. She pointed to a second pillar. "The Pillar of Integrity."  
  
"Pillar of Honor," Vader noted.  
  
"Pillar of Compassion," added Jenny.  
  
"Pillar of Loyalty," Chang observed.  
  
"Pillar of Wisdom," Metria finished. "Six pillars with fancy letters on them. What of it?"  
  
"What does this all mean?" Jenny wondered.  
  
"Well, these are all things Darius isn't," Luke joked.  
  
"Good point," Vader replied. "A true leader would be a pillar of strength, integrity, honor, compassion, loyalty, and wisdom to his people. He would uphold his kingdom by exhibiting these qualities. But Darius has none of these, being the twisted scheming being he is. Thus, he has artificial forms of these characteristics to support his kingdom."  
  
Luke hadn't been serious, but there was merit in Vader's theory.  
  
"Oh my stars," gasped Wara, hands going to her mouth. "We used to have cave-ins in these tunnels all the time. But a few months ago Darius sent the demon-centaur to Mount Parnassus to fetch something -- he wouldn't say what. When he got back, the cave-ins stopped. These pillars must be what he was sent to obtain!"  
  
"And I seem to recall the Muses reporting a centaur thief to the elders of Centaur Isle around that time," Chang replied. "We never did find the thief among us, and now I see why. Darius stole these pillars from the temple of the Muses to keep his village from collapsing on itself."  
  
"So if we remove or destroy these columns, we can bring down the entire fortress," Luke theorized.  
  
"And where will WE be while the caves are coming down on our heads?" Metria demanded.  
  
"Running like hell," Luke replied quite matter-of-factly.  
  
"We will never make it out of the tunnels in time," Chang pointed out. "We would kill ourselves destroying Darius."  
  
"Not if we time it right," Luke replied. "If we destroy three or four pillars, the rest would hold up the ceiling for a little while, but eventually they would collapse and take the entire village with them."  
  
An imp trooper on a swoop bike screamed into the cavern, pulling up even with Sergeant Ressive.  
  
"Soldier, I told you to stay in the west passage unless there was an emergency!" Ressive snapped.  
  
"Sir," the trooper informed him, "we've located Darius! He appears to have imbibed in some healing elixir and is heading this way with blood in his eyes!"  
  
"No healing elixir in his store rooms, eh?" demanded Metria.  
  
"But true to his self-serving nature," Vader noted, "he keeps some in his private quarters." He addressed Ressive. "We thank the army of Imp Ire for their aid. But the battle against Darius himself is ours alone. You may return to your homes. We have the situation under control."  
  
Ressive didn't look convinced, but he pulled a comm unit off his belt. "Move out! All troops regroup at point oh-five near the lake!"  
  
The remaining imps left the cavern. The sergeant went after them.  
  
"You'd better hurry," Jenny advised. "I don't think Darius is going to be as easy on us a second time."  
  
Vader turned to the nearest pillar, the one marked Wisdom. Scarlet cracks shot through the stone, and the entire pillar glowed eerily. Abruptly the ceiling above the column buckled and sagged.  
  
"Not good!" shouted Wara, ducking as chunks of stone began to rain down.  
  
"Luke, your talent!" shouted Metria.  
  
Could his talent work on stone? It had repaired Vader's armor as well as healing his injuries. He focused on the ceiling, and the fallen stone flew back to its proper place. But as the pillar gave way the ceiling continued to crack and warp.  
  
"The pillar!" Vader ordered.  
  
Luke concentrated on the pillar. The red glow became green, and the stone fused back together.  
  
"Destroying one pillar isn't an option either," Chang decided. "We need a means of destroying them all at once -- and from a distance."  
  
"I have another idea," Luke countered. "Why don't we just damage the pillars? Weaken them, but not destroy them. They will continue to hold up the ceiling until we destroy one column. The other five won't be able to hold the ceiling up and will collapse slowly, giving us time to escape."  
  
"That must be where both of your talents come in," Wara mused. "You have to cooperate to bring the cavern down."  
  
"Then get started so we can get out of this pit already!" Metria grumbled.  
  
They focused on the Pillar of Loyalty. Red light illuminated the stone, then green light mingled with the scarlet. The powers of destruction and healing infused the column as Vader's magic broke the stone apart and Luke's magic fused it back together, though not completely. It took some time before they were satisfied with the results.  
  
"Hope that's enough," said Luke.  
  
"But that took too long!" Metria exclaimed. "Darius is on his way! We don't have time for this site!"  
  
"This what?" demanded Wara.  
  
"Lot, property, plan, scheme..."  
  
"Plot," Jenny offered.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Time," mused Vader. "Time." He faced Wara. "What does Darius keep in his store rooms?"  
  
"Weapons and food, mostly," she replied. "There's also armor, tools, magic herbs, a few potions..."  
  
"What sorts of herbs?"  
  
"Not much," she confessed. "He does have a good supply of fresh and dried thyme..."  
  
"Sammy," Vader ordered, "go to the nearest store room and bring back a sprig of dried thyme."  
  
The cat bolted. He was back seconds later with a shriveled stalk in his mouth, which he set at Vader's feet with a pleased purr.  
  
"I don't get it," Luke confessed.  
  
"Jenny explained the properties of this plant to me at the beginning of the game," Vader replied.  
  
Metria's form briefly fluctuated to that of a bald, fat, yellow-skinned man. "D'oh!"  
  
"What?" asked Luke.  
  
"I should have told you!" she snapped. "Thyme's a magic plant. Fresh, it speeds time up. Dried, it slows time down. So as long as that piece of thyme's in this cavern, a second to Darius will be like an hour to us."  
  
Luke smiled. "So we have all the 'thyme' we need to rig the cave."  
  
"For someone who professes not to like puns," Jenny said with a knowing grin, "you certainly know how to use them to your advantage, Lord Vader."  
  
The two Players set to work. It took time to figure out just how much of each type of magic it took to sufficiently weaken each column, for each one was constructed differently. Twice Vader got carried away and made a pillar explode, and Luke had to act fast to keep that section of the ceiling from falling down on them. By the time they reached the last column, the Pillar of Honor, they were both covered with dust and exhausted from the continued use of their talents.  
  
"We'll save this one for when Darius comes in," Luke stated.  
  
Vader turned to the sprig of thyme, and it glowed red and crumbled to ash. "Jenny, Wara, Metria, Chang, and Sammy should wait outside."  
  
"Take care," Metria told them. "Don't hurt yourself, or Grossclout'll mush me."  
  
"And don't underestimate Darius," Wara cautioned. "I've seen him defeat five men at a time in battle."  
  
They departed.  
  
Luke and Vader waited together in the audience chamber. The silence hung thick in the air like the mists over the lake. Vader's respirator was the only sound, and it echoed hauntingly off the stone walls.  
  
"We've come a long way, haven't we?" mused Luke at last.  
  
"From mortal foes to unlikely allies," Vader acknowledged.  
  
"And we actually make a pretty good team," Luke grinned. "Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader. Who'd have thought?"  
  
"We could continue to be a team, Luke," Vader suggested. "If we survive this battle, we could join forces. Together, we could be unstoppable -- a pair of shooting stars that nothing can stop."  
  
Did he never give up? But then, Luke realized, this wasn't exactly an invitation to join the dark side. It was simply an offer to be partners. Perhaps, he thought, they could go off on their own and be a mercenary team, or explorers, or free-lance pilots. Perhaps they could form an entirely new Force-wielding Order, neither Jedi nor Sith. The possibilities were endless, and the offer was tempting.  
  
"You and I both know that's impossible," Luke replied. "Despite all that's happened here, I'm still a Rebel and a Jedi, and you're still an Imperial and a Sith. And like it or not, I'm an idealist. As long as the Emperor continues his reign, I'm going to fight against him."  
  
"I suspected you would answer along those lines," Vader replied. "And I'm beginning to think you and the Rebellion are not entirely wrong in your mission."  
  
Luke's jaw dropped. Such words were practically blasphemy coming out of the mouth of the Emperor's right-hand man!  
  
"How touching," came the silky, mocking voice of Darius as he entered the chamber, claws rasping on the floor. "A family moment. Enjoy it while you can, because I'm going to gut the two of you for making a fool out of me."  
  
"You can't make a fool out of one who is already a fool," Vader retorted.  
  
Darius smirked, and the spade-tip of his tail thrashed once, like a cat just before it pounced. "Who's the fool, Vader? I heard you talking to your son. And from what I've heard, you serve an Emperor who is far more tyrannical than I. And yet you condone his actions, whilst I am a threat that must be eliminated. Isn't that a bit hypocritical?"  
  
Vader was silent, and Luke could see that Darius had touched on a sensitive issue. How indeed could one serve one tyrant and seek to overthrow another?  
  
"I am not perfect, Darius," Vader said finally. "Far from it. I've made many mistakes. But you are not one to talk about perfection either. You call me a hypocrite while you, who preach the ideals of utopia and pretend to champion the oppressed, plot heinous crimes against the full-blooded creatures of Xanth. If you accuse me of hypocrisy, that makes you a hypocrite twice over."  
  
Darius' gaze settled on Luke. "If there's one thing I can't stand, it's an idealist. I can understand why you wish to oust the Emperor of your galaxy. But why are you so intent on destroying me? Xanth is not your world. Our affairs don't affect you. What difference does it make to you if a full-blood rules Xanth or I do?"  
  
"Our worlds are not entirely separate, Darius," Luke replied. "Otherwise I would not be here. Xanth and our galaxy are connected through the Force -- what you call magic. The actions of those in one will have consequences on the other. And though it might not make much difference to you whether our galaxy prospers or destructs, I will not sit back idly and watch a madman destroy Xanth."  
  
Darius looked at Vader, then at Luke. He had evidently hoped to talk one or both of them out of fighting him. But he made one last-ditch attempt to save his skin.  
  
"You could join me," he offered. "Vader, you're a crossbreed of sorts -- man and machine. And Luke... you could take on a lover of another species. You can aid me in my quest, and your reward could be more wealth and power than you can imagine!"  
  
Vader turned to Luke, who smiled back and slid something out of his sleeve -- the last piece of reverse wood, which had been snapped in half and the two pieces bound together with a strip of cloth to cancel each other's effects.  
  
Vader nodded, pleased. "Shall we take him together?"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
The Dark Lord turned to Darius. "We decline the offer. Instead, we shall do the next being you meet a favor and ensure they never encounter you."  
  
The dracotaur drew his sword, expecting a physical attack.  
  
Luke let one piece of reverse wood drop, holding tightly to the other. He and Vader focused all their strength on the Pillar of Honor. The column exploded violently under their combined forces. Too late Darius saw the danger and tried to flee, but the resulting shower of rock overwhelmed him.  
  
The Players were not around to see the centaur of their attention meet his doom. They ran into the nearest tunnel, intent on escape. Jenny had been waiting for them, Sammy in her arms, and she joined them in their flight.  
  
Chang, Wara, and Metria emerged from a side passage to run alongside them, Wara in her unicorn form, Metria a smoky-gray hippogriff. Luke grabbed Metria's shoulders and hurled himself onto her back, clinging for dear life to her neck feathers. Vader grabbed Jenny by the waist and swiftly transferred her to Wara's back, then took a running leap onto Chang.  
  
The ringing of hooves on stone was drowned out by the thunder of falling rock behind them. The end of the tunnel was visible as a pinprick of light, and the party charged onward, reassured by the sight of daylight. The imploding tunnel was at their heels, urging their desperate flight on.  
  
Sunlight was never so welcome. They burst from the passage just as the mouth of the tunnel buckled and caved in with a flurry of dust.  
  
There was no celebration among their party. They simply flopped down on the spot in exhaustion. Within seconds everyone was asleep.  
  
A few minutes later, a black-and-brown dog trotted out of the mist and sat down near the tired group, keeping a watchful eye on them. 


	20. Chapter 20 Prize

Part XX -- Prize  
  
Vader opened his eyes. He was sprawled on the damp, rocky ground at the shore of Lake Eerie. As he sat up, his shoulder joints and spine cracked loudly. Stang, how long had he been asleep?  
  
Luke lay face down nearby, mouth open and drooling in typical teenager fashion. Sammy was curled up between Luke's shoulder blades in a catnap. Jenny lay on her side close by, and Chang and Wara slept side by side, his arms draped around her equine neck. Metria was visible as a gently shifting patch of smoke -- a patch of smoke that snored loudly.  
  
The battle was over. Darius was dead. Their galaxy was no longer in danger. They had won.  
  
But the conflict within Vader was hardly over.  
  
Darius had certainly scored with his accusation. How indeed could Vader support one tyrant and oppose another? Upon learning of the dracotaur's sinister dealings, he had immediately declared war on him. But his master was just as cruel and twisted in his affairs, and he obeyed him unquestioningly.  
  
He watched Luke sleep, a gentle smile touching his lips. The boy was still so full of sky-high hopes and equally high ideals. At first Vader had been frustrated by that, as it was an enormous obstacle in his struggle to turn him. But now he found he envied that idealism. At least Luke could battle Darius without immersing himself in a moral quandary.  
  
Which brought him right back to his original plan to convert his son to the dark side. Though his master commanded it, he wished to carry the order out not out of obedience to the Emperor, but in an effort to preserve his son's life. Someday soon, the son of Skywalker would ally himself with the Sith.  
  
But not today. Today Luke would go free.  
  
A dark form close by attracted his attention, and he looked to see Misty sitting near Luke's feet. She seemed to realize Vader had noticed her, and she stood and padded over to him, nuzzling his hand for a pat. He complied, rubbing her ears.  
  
"You're an exceptional animal, Misty," he told her. "We owe our victory today to you. Thank you."  
  
Something flickered in her eyes, and they suddenly shifted from golden to brown. Before his astonished eyes Misty went from dog form to human form. A strikingly beautiful woman, her dark brown hair fell in waves to her shoulders, and a smile graced her regal features. A simple but elegant brown dress, trimmed in black with a white ivory brooch over the chest, complimented her beauty.  
  
"You're welcome," she replied.  
  
His chest constricted. "Padme!"  
  
Her smile broadened. "Ani."  
  
He shook his head in disbelief. He was dreaming or hallucinating. This couldn't be her! She was long dead...  
  
Wara's words returned to him -- "Sometimes something bad happens to a good person, and instead of dying that person comes to live in Xanth."  
  
"It's really me, Anakin," she whispered, taking his hand.  
  
He looked away, suddenly inundated with shame. How he had brutalized Padme at the end, how he had caused her so much agony! She should hate him, scorn him! But she had forgiven him, aided them in their quest, her love unconditional and lasting.  
  
"Please, Padme," he said quietly. "I'm no longer worthy of that name. Anakin Skywalker is dead. I killed him long ago."  
  
"Is that so?" she inquired. "Well, Darth Vader would never have fought Darius. Nor would he have selected a child as a Companion or saved her life. But Anakin would have."  
  
For a long time they simply stared at each other, basking in each other's presences, glorying in the moment. How he longed to be able to touch her, kiss her, embrace her! But for now, the mere pleasure of her presence was like water for a man dying of thirst.  
  
At last her gaze went to Luke. "I had to hide him after you... left," she said quietly, tears filling her eyes. "I... I'm sorry..."  
  
"Perhaps," Vader replied, "you were not entirely wrong in doing so." He squeezed her hand. "We should wake him up. I know he would want to meet you."  
  
She leaned over and shook him gently. "Get up, Luke."  
  
Sammy made a displeased sound and hopped off of Luke's back. Luke gave a reluctant groan but was otherwise still.  
  
"Luke, wake up."  
  
"Don't wanna get up, Mom."  
  
"You can't sleep all day, silly boy."  
  
"Five more minutes, Mom..." His eyes shot open. "Mom?!"  
  
He scrambled to his feet, eyes wide, talking a kilometer a minute. "How did you get here? Father told me you were dead! How did you find us?"  
  
She laughed. "I never died in our galaxy. I was simply taken to Xanth to continue life here. When I learned you two were in Xanth on a quest, I begged Demon Grossclout to allow me to participate in some role in the game. He relented and gave me a talent that I might aid you -- the talent to assume the form of any land-bound animal. I feared I wouldn't reach you before you defeated Darius."  
  
Luke opened his mouth in an attempt to say more, but no words came out.  
  
Padme took him in her arms. "I love you, son," she whispered tearfully.  
  
He returned the embrace. "I missed you, Mom," he replied in a tight voice.  
  
"Come with us, Padme," urged Vader. "Back to our world."  
  
She shook her head. "If I leave Xanth, I die -- for real. I can't go with you."  
  
"Then we'll stay here," volunteered Luke.  
  
"Don't be silly," she chided. "The galaxy needs you two."  
  
"But Mother, we need you!" Luke insisted.  
  
"I cannot lose you again," Vader added forcefully.  
  
"I'm always with you," she replied. "Both of you should know by now that you can't keep those you love alive forever. You can resuscitate them, heal their wounds, rescue them from deadly situations, but eventually they pass away despite all you do. But if you continue to love them, they never entirely leave you. And I have never left the two of you."  
  
There was a faraway shout, and Vader could barely discern the words: "Quit jouncing my old bones around, you miserable flying alley cat! Just be glad your year of service ends today, or it'll be back to challenge duty!"  
  
"I must go," she told them. "The Good Magician didn't approve of me being in the game, and he's coming. And besides, you'll be going back soon."  
  
Vader took Padme in his arms and embraced her gently. "I love you."  
  
"I know, Anakin," she replied.  
  
She stepped back a few paces and assumed canine form again. She barked a farewell and trotted into the mists.  
  
"I knew there was more to her than we could see," Vader said roughly. "But I never expected... that."  
  
"You truly do love her," Luke noted. "If someone had told me a week ago that you were capable of love, I would have called them insane. But I know better now."  
  
Two figures stepped out of the fog. The first was the Good Magician astride Gregory Griffon, a book spread open across the beast's shoulders. The second, riding the night mare-hippogriff crossbreed they had seen earlier, was a familiar woman with short hair and glasses.  
  
"Kenya Starflight," Vader noted. "You've been involved in this from the very beginning."  
  
She grinned mischievously. "Guilty as charged, my lord."  
  
"Serving as your first challenge at my castle was only part of her year of service," Humphrey told him. "She was sent to the temple of the Muses shortly thereafter to help record an account of your quest, to be released in Mundania via Internet. Usually a Mundanian man named Piers Anthony transfers the Muses' books to that land, but he wasn't available, so we hired a replacement." He raised his voice. "Wake up!"  
  
The others stirred groggily, getting to their feet. Metria gathered herself into human form, grumbling.  
  
"I thought demons didn't sleep," said Luke.  
  
"I wasn't asleep," she said thickly, stifling a yawn.  
  
"Why is the crossbreed hippogriff with you?" asked Wara, shifting to human form.  
  
"Nina Night-griff is the mate of Gregory Griffon," Humphrey explained. "They met on our way to Lake Eerie. But that's beside the point."  
  
"We did it, Magician Humphrey!" exclaimed Jenny.  
  
"I wouldn't use a singular term such as 'it,'" the Good Magician replied. "Your group has left a path of mischief in your wake -- harassing a goblin tribe, flooding the Gap Chasm, endangering the Gap Dragon and his mate and child, forcing an underage Companion to break the Adult Conspiracy, destroying over a thousand harpies, doing damage to an ogre..."  
  
"With all due respect, I think the ogre did more damage to us," Vader countered.  
  
"Ease up, Magician," Kenya advised. "They did save Xanth. That's what matters."  
  
"Indeed," he replied. "You did save Xanth and the Galaxy Far, Far Away. But had you failed in your quest, you'd be hearing it from me!"  
  
"Aren't we hearing it already?" humphed Metria.  
  
"Then our quest is complete?" inquired Vader.  
  
"Not quite. In your haste to escape the tunnels, you forgot something -- the prize." He pulled a battered gold wooden box from his robes and tossed it at the Players' feet. "I took the liberty of excavating it from what was left of Darius' crossbreed village for you."  
  
They stared at the prize a moment, each expecting the other to claim it.  
  
"You take it," Luke said finally.  
  
"You take it," Vader replied.  
  
"You take it."  
  
"YOU take it."  
  
"I don't want it."  
  
"Neither do I."  
  
"You saved my life at the Gap. You deserve it."  
  
"You saved MY life in the tunnels. You deserve it."  
  
"You defeated Com Pewter."  
  
"You outsmarted Fracto."  
  
"You fought an ogre."  
  
"You braved a forget-whorl."  
  
"I'm not taking it!"  
  
"Then it's going to sit there awhile, isn't it?"  
  
Vader realized everyone was laughing at them. Even the Good Magician had almost cracked a smile despite his efforts.  
  
"Which of us will need the prize more?" Luke asked.  
  
The Good Magician pondered that a moment. "If it's a question of who needs it," he said at last, "then the prize should go to Darth Vader."  
  
Reluctantly he bent down and picked up the box. He lifted the lid to reveal an orb the size of a man's eye, shimmering with a deep blue light. Hesitantly he closed a hand around the sphere, but it vanished on contact, and his hand glowed blue for a few moments. In those moments a voice sounded in his head.  
  
[I am the talent of shape-shifting. I will enable you to assume the form of any flying beast of any size, from the smallest insect to the largest roc. Use me wisely.]  
  
He closed his eyes, envisioning a dragon. A brief feeling of light-headedness took him, then a surge of power rushed through his limbs. When he opened his eyes, he was no longer human, but well over five tons of jet-black scales and sinewy muscle. Never had he felt so powerful, so free! A sweet desire to break free from the bonds of gravity, to fly fast and far, away from this dreary lake, burned in his breast...  
  
Swiftly he returned to his natural form. What a powerful talent!  
  
"Thank you," he told the Magician.  
  
"Well, don't just stand there," Humphrey advised. "Take a test flight. Make sure that talent Grossclout provided is any good."  
  
Vader turned to Luke. "Care for a ride?"  
  
"Do I ever!" Luke replied eagerly.  
  
He returned to the dragon shape, lowering his head to allow his son to mount. Once he was sure Luke's grip was secure, he crouched and sprang.  
  
The wind caressed his body as he soared, catching a thermal and rising with it, stretching his wings to their farthest reach. He gave an exultant roar. This was bliss! All his life he'd loved to fly, but being able to achieve flight without mechanical aid was the ultimate glory. He circled higher still, above the clouds, until Xanth was spread below them like a map, all green and blue with the jagged black line of the Gap splitting it from east coast to west.  
  
At last, weary but happy, he spiraled down, landing close to the others and allowing Luke to dismount before becoming human again.  
  
"That was wild!" Luke exclaimed. "Thanks!"  
  
"A few more matters to clear up," Humphrey stated. "First, your talents. Once you two leave Xanth, your talents will revert back to what they were before Darius changed them. Vader, once you leave Xanth, your game-awarded talent will be rendered inactive until you return."  
  
"Understood," Vader replied.  
  
"Second, the lake. Darius is dead, and the imp army and the cave-in destroyed over half his army. However, hundreds of crossbreeds still exist throughout Xanth, many too bizarre to be accepted into any culture. With the village gone, they have nowhere to go."  
  
Chang stepped forward. "I volunteer to begin construction on a new village here at Lake Eerie. It shall be a haven for unusual crossbreeds, as well as other outcasts like Mundanians and centaurs with talents. And my fiance and I will rule justly."  
  
Wara looked up at him adoringly. "You mean it?"  
  
"Of course, my love." He bent down to kiss her lovingly.  
  
"Oh, gag," choked Metria. "Mush again."  
  
"Shut up," Luke snapped.  
  
"Very good," Humphrey replied. "After all this is settled, Gregory Griffon and Nina Night-griff will join your village."  
  
"Then that is settled," Vader noted. "Anything else?"  
  
The Good Magician shook his head. "Your quest is complete. Your world awaits. Return to it."  
  
A portal opened in the mists.  
  
Jenny looked up at Vader, tears in her eyes. "I'm going to miss you, Lord Vader."  
  
He cupped her chin in his hand. "You're an extraordinary young woman, Jenny. Were it not for you, I would never have made it this far. I will miss you."  
  
She hugged him around the waist. "Will you be back?"  
  
"That remains to be seen," he replied, patting her back. "But rest assured that I will never forget you."  
  
Meanwhile, Luke was saying farewell to Metria.  
  
"I couldn't have done it without you, Metria," he told her. "You did so much for me. I'm really going to miss you, quirks and all." He extended a hand.  
  
"Who needs handshakes?" she replied, and she grabbed his head and kissed him fiercely. "Stay out of trouble, Skysinger. I can't come to your galaxy to save you, you know."  
  
"I'll remember," he replied, pulling free of her grip.  
  
Chang and Wara weren't quite as emotional in their goodbyes, settling for shaking hands.  
  
"We thank you," Chang told them. "You helped us achieve our dreams and ensure the man who hurt us will not harm anyone else."  
  
"If you ever return to Xanth, be sure to visit," Wara added.  
  
Sammy meowed and twined around Luke and Vader's ankles.  
  
"Yes, we'll miss you too, Sammy," said Vader.  
  
Luke turned to the Good Magician. "Thank..."  
  
"Bah, just doing my job," he said dismissively.  
  
Kenya smiled. "Good to meet you two. Never thought I'd see you both in the flesh."  
  
"Will anyone in Mundania truly believe you came to Xanth and encountered us?" Vader asked.  
  
"Probably not, but I can gloat a little," she replied. "I hope to see you again sometime."  
  
Luke gestured to the portal. "You first."  
  
Vader strode through the portal and out of Xanth.  
  
***  
  
He awoke with a start. He was still seated at his computer. A glance at the chrono on his desk told him that no time at all had passed in their world between entering and exiting the game. When he looked back at the monitor, it had gone blank.  
  
Had it all been a dream?  
  
He took a minute to examine his armor and cloak. There were no scratches, dents, or tears, even though he had suffered plenty of those while in the game. It was as if he'd simply dozed off in his chair for a few seconds and had an incredibly vivid dream.  
  
But it had all been real! Jenny, Metria, Chang, Wara, Sammy, the Good Magician, Fracto, Com Pewter, Darius, Kenya, the ogres, the Imp Ire, the Gap Dragon... they truly existed in a world all their own! He was sure of it!  
  
A glint of gold caught his eye. Resting on the desk beside the chrono was the beat-up box that had contained his talent. Gently he took it and examined it. It was of no make familiar to this galaxy -- and solid proof of his exploits in Xanth.  
  
Three things occurred to him as he sat there, staring at the box. First, it was going to be harder than ever for him to convert Luke. His and Luke's journey together, as well as his encounter with Padme, had seen to that. For though allowing Luke to become a Jedi would mean his death, could he truly force him down the torturous path of the dark side?  
  
Second, the Emperor would want to be informed of Xanth's existence. He had made it clear that any unusual occurrence, no matter how trivial it seemed, should be reported. In the struggle against the Rebellion, nothing could be overlooked, lest it be a missed opportunity or an ignored threat.  
  
Third, telling his master of Xanth would undoubtedly mean the destruction of that unique alternate reality. Either Palpatine would order the land razed to destroy all vestiges of magic, or he would invade, bringing it under his cruel dominion. And the thought of Xanth meeting either fate chilled Vader to the core.  
  
He pulled the disk from its drive and placed it in the box, latching it securely. Then he opened the file manager on his computer and set to work. Within a few minutes, he had purged the computer's memory of any trace of the program.  
  
As for the disk... he would have to destroy it. It was the gateway to Xanth and thus a means to exploit the land. But as he reached purposefully for the box, he found he couldn't bring himself to throw it away. At last he took it and left his quarters, lost in thought.  
  
"...I still say you should take the matter to Lord Vader, Lieutenant."  
  
"Are you kidding? I find I enjoy breathing, sir."  
  
"If you want an extra day of leave, you have to take it up with him. It's procedure."  
  
"He'll deny it. He always does. I was lucky enough to get the weekend of my son's birthday off, and I'm not going to push that any farther."  
  
"But how will you get a gift for him in time..."  
  
Admiral Piett and a newly assigned officer, Lieutenant Koho, rounded a corner and came into view. Their conversation trailed off when they saw the Dark Lord.  
  
"How old is your son, Lieutenant?" asked Vader.  
  
Koho opened his mouth once or twice before he could make any sound. "He'll be seventeen next month, my lord."  
  
Vader extended the box toward him. "The disk the Rebel pilot was carrying contained only a computer game. I have inspected it thoroughly and found it of no use to the Empire. Perhaps your son will appreciate it."  
  
Disbelief, then incredulity, and finally amazed gratitude crossed Koho's face as he took the box. "Thank you very much, my lord."  
  
"And you are granted that extra day of leave. I will assign someone to cover your position."  
  
"My lord, is all well?" asked Piett. Vader could tell that he really meant "Is Darth Vader going crazy or is he just sick?"  
  
"All is well," Vader replied. "I simply wish to be rid of the game. I elected to give it to someone who will use it -- preferably someone not subject to the Adult Conspiracy."  
  
"Ah, yes, my lord," Piett replied.  
  
Vader turned and walked back to his quarters, enjoying a private laugh as Piett and Koho debated what in the name of the Force the Adult Conspiracy was.  
  
***  
  
Luke sat bolt upright, shaking his head. He was back in his chair, still at the computer, though the screen was now dark. His clothes were no longer ragged and dirty; in fact, there was no sign that he had just spent a week in a pun-infested jungle world. Even his wall chrono still showed the exact time and date of his departure.  
  
Had it really happened?  
  
On a whim he thrust his hand into his pocket, feeling around. His fingers brushed something hard and faceted, and he drew it out and examined it. It was an emerald, the gift from the Imp-eror.  
  
It HAD happened! He had really gone on a journey in Xanth with his father! He had really encountered magicians, dragons, centaurs, unicorns, elves, demons, imps, ogres, even his mother! Xanth was real!  
  
He couldn't wait until he ran into Wedge again! What a story he had to tell! But suddenly he realized that he would be the laughingstock of the Alliance if he told anyone he'd been sucked into a computer game.  
  
Carefully he removed the disk from his computer, then locked it in the trunk containing his personal supplies. He would have to guard the game carefully. There was no telling what damage would be inflicted on either Xanth or their galaxy if it fell into the wrong hands.  
  
Again he examined the jewel, lost in thought. So many mysteries had been solved on this quest. Vader was truly his father -- and so was Anakin. He had a mother, and he had met her face to face. And despite all that Vader had done, there was still much good in the man. When he next met Yoda, he would have to confront him with all he knew. Perhaps the ancient Jedi could help him turn his father back to the good side.  
  
He stuffed the gem into his supply trunk, beneath a set of black Jedi attire he had acquired recently. It would come in handy when the time came to build a new weapon. He was getting tired of relying on a blast-her -- uh, blaster. Stang, the real world was going to take some getting used to now!  
  
"Luke?"  
  
He looked up. "Hi, Wedge. How'd the game go?"  
  
"It hasn't started yet," Wedge complained. "Dunkan from ground crew lost the ball, and we had to spend an hour looking for it. Finally found it in the control room under General Madine's terminal. How it got there, we'll never know. But I decided to come check up on you before we started the game."  
  
Too bad they didn't have Sammy's help in locating the ball. "I'm feeling a lot better, actually. I think I'm up for joining you, if you still need that halfback."  
  
"Really?" Wedge asked.  
  
"Yeah. Just let me get my helmet."  
  
His fellow pilot looked at him quizzically. "Something's up, Luke. You just seem... changed, somehow."  
  
"So?"  
  
"It's odd. How can you go from depressed to cheery in just an hour?"  
  
Luke shrugged. "Maybe I got some reverse wood for my mood."  
  
"Come again?"  
  
Luke laughed and pulled on his smashball helmet. "Oh, let's start this game already!" 


	21. Epilogue & Author's Note

Part XXI -- Epilogue  
  
"This is a Rebel that surrendered to us."  
  
Xanth's time runs differently from Galactic Standard time, so it could easily have been either years or minutes after their departure from Lake Eerie that Luke and Vader met again. But it was no cordial meeting -- Luke was cuffed and flanked by stormtroopers, accompanied by a slightly gloating Imperial officer.  
  
"Although he denies it, I believe there may be more of them, and I request permission to conduct a further search of the area." He extended a hand. "He was armed only with this."  
  
Father and son spent a moment gazing at each other, not speaking. Vader was the first to break eye contact, turning to the officer and taking the proffered lightsaber.  
  
"Good work, Commander. Leave us. Conduct your search and bring his companions to me."  
  
"Yes, my lord."  
  
They were alone on the lower platform, the lush forests of Endor surrounding them. Neither spoke as they began to slowly walk side by side. Only the drone of insects and the chatter of forest animals intruded on their silence.  
  
Luke had come willingly, but he didn't know quite what to expect. The last time he had spoken to his father, there had been an audience. Now there was only the two of them -- no elf or cat, demon or centaur, magician or unicorn. Just them.  
  
Stang, had it really been nine months since they traveled Xanth together? The memory of their adventures was still so fresh in his mind. He wondered if Vader had played the game at all since. Luke just hadn't had time...  
  
"The Emperor has been expecting you," Vader said at last.  
  
So he's going to pretend it never happened, Luke thought, annoyed. "I know -- Father."  
  
The glistening black helmet turned to regard him. This was probably the first time Vader had heard Luke call him that to his face.  
  
"So you have accepted the truth," he noted. Luke could read the unspoken thought behind that statement -- it's about damn time, boy.  
  
It had certainly been a long, arduous road toward acceptance. Piecing together a shattered ideal of a father was by no means easy. But meeting his mother and learning the truth from Obi-wan and Yoda on Dagobah had helped him become, if not entirely comfortable with the truth, at least tolerant of it.  
  
"I've accepted the truth that you were once Anakin Skywalker, my father..."  
  
"That name," Vader interrupted, turning and shaking the confiscated lightsaber at him like a teacher scolding a disruptive student, "no longer has any meaning for me."  
  
"It is the name of your true self," Luke countered. "You've only forgotten."  
  
They paused in their walking. Vader continued to gaze at him as if puzzled. Didn't he understand that he was trying to help his father? Maybe he couldn't see it, but Luke knew his father still carried a vestige of good inside him. Jenny had recognized it, encouraging it by offering him nothing but kindness and compassion. The Good Magician had seen it -- why else would he call Vader by his true name? And though Obi-wan claimed that Vader had destroyed Anakin and was more machine than man, twisted and evil, Luke sided with Jenny. Anakin existed. He only needed drawn out.  
  
"I know there is good in you," he pressed. "The Emperor hasn't driven it from you fully."  
  
Vader said nothing.  
  
"That was why you couldn't destroy me," he finished, turning and placing his cuffed hands on the railing. "That's why you won't bring me to your Emperor now."  
  
There was a pregnant silence as Vader considered Luke's words. An eerie hum drowned out the sounds of the forest, and he looked behind him to see Vader holding his activated lightsaber, studying it. It glowed a brilliant green, the jewel given to Luke by the imps lending the energy sword its verdant color. The shimmering blade cast emerald light on Vader's armor, reminding Luke of the moment in Darius' fortress when he had healed the Sith's wounds.  
  
"I see you have constructed a new lightsaber," he mused, checking the grip. "Your skills are complete. Indeed you are powerful as the Emperor has foreseen."  
  
He switched the blade off. Luke watched as he turned to stare into the forest. The man seemed troubled, conflicted, at war with himself. What had happened over the past months to tear him apart? Could he reach his father through the turbulence in his soul? There was only one way to find out.  
  
"Come with me," he offered.  
  
***  
  
"Come with me."  
  
Vader didn't respond at once. The offer was a tempting one. He and Luke had braved a wilder wilderness than this before. They could do it again. The thought brought a smile to his lips.  
  
"Obi-wan once thought as you do," he replied, remembering his old master fondly for once. At the end Kenobi had tried to reach his apprentice by reminding him of old times, of their comradeship and the adventures they'd had together. And he had almost won Anakin back.  
  
But Anakin was under the control of a force far more powerful than his free will. He could no more follow Luke than he could break free of his armor. As his life-support systems gave him life and enslaved said life to their whim, the Emperor had given him vast power at a very dear price. He had no agency, but was only a puppet whose strings were pulled by a sadistic puppeteer.  
  
He turned back to his son. "You don't know the power of the dark side. I must obey my master."  
  
Luke shook his head slightly. "I won't turn, and you'll be forced to kill me."  
  
It was a challenge, and Vader knew it. He'd told Luke before that he couldn't kill his sole reminder of Padme. But that was then; this was now. Palpatine had kept a suffocatingly close watch over his every thought and action since he'd returned from Xanth, and he'd spent so much energy keeping himself in tune with the Emperor's expectations that he knew he couldn't escape now.  
  
"If that is your destiny," he said quietly, voice laden with regret.  
  
"Search your feelings, Father!" Luke pressed. "You can't do this! I can feel the conflict within you! Let go of your hate!"  
  
But I hate no one, Vader thought. I only mourn my loss. I lost my freedom, my friend, and my love through the dark side, and I am about to lose my son through that same power.  
  
Had Luke approached him as recently as two months ago, Vader might have found the strength to run. But he couldn't now. It was too late.  
  
"It is... too late for me, son."  
  
And with that, he gave a sharp gesture.  
  
Stormtroopers surrounded Luke, ready to escort him to Vader's waiting shuttle.  
  
"The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your master now."  
  
It took Luke a minute to reply. "Then my father is truly dead," he whispered, then followed the troopers to the waiting lift. The doors hissed closed like the blade of a guillotine.  
  
"My father is truly dead." The words stung, as most truths do. What kind of a father did this to his offspring? Luke had come to him offering an escape, trying to save him, and he had repaid him by delivering him to the slavers of darkness -- or the gallows, depending on Luke's choice.  
  
He stared at nothing in particular, leaning against the railing, tears pouring down his face, awash in agony. When he'd thought his son had drowned in the flooded Gap Chasm, he had done all in his power to revive him. When they had faced impossible odds together during their quest to destroy Darius, he had protected Luke as surely as Metria had. But now, when Luke faced the direst peril of his life, he did nothing to stop it.  
  
"Jenny," he moaned, "where are you when I need you?" The elf girl had been a voice of reason and his truest ally. If she were here...  
  
But she wasn't. Neither was Metria. They had to face this challenge alone.  
  
He entered the lift.  
  
***  
  
Jenny smiled to herself as the portal closed behind the Players. She had known all along that Vader was a good man. Seeing his son come to accept that gave her a warm feeling inside.  
  
"I wonder when they'll be back," she mused.  
  
"They won't be," the Good Magician replied.  
  
Everyone looked at the old sorcerer in surprise. "And how do you know this?" demanded Metria.  
  
"He knows everything," Wara retorted.  
  
"Not when it pertains to other worlds," Humphrey corrected. "But the Star Wars galaxy is well-known to Mundania, so Kenya was able to educate me." He nodded at her.  
  
"What's going to happen to them?" asked Jenny.  
  
"They'll go back to their galaxy," Kenya replied quietly. "Once there, Vader will be too busy helping his master set a trap for the Rebellion to play the game again. Luke will be too busy helping the Rebellion rescue a friend to play the game again. They will meet again in about a year. Vader's master will set them against each other in a father vs. son battle. In the end, Vader will sacrifice himself to save Luke's life."  
  
Jenny gasped. "That's..." She didn't know what to say. "Horrible" was a totally inappropriate word, but so was "wonderful," even though both words applied.  
  
"He was the Chosen One, wasn't he?" Chang asked. "Vader was the one I sought all along. He helped me achieve my heart's desire."  
  
"Darth Vader was once known as Anakin Skywalker," Humphrey explained. "Because his mother had him without summoning the stork first, the Jedi called him the Chosen One, one who would bring balance to the Force. But he turned on the Jedi Order and destroyed it. The few remaining Jedi now consider Luke the Chosen One. What the Jedi and the Sith fail to take into account is that Anakin will bring balance to the Force by restoring a power long denied both Orders -- love."  
  
"Love?" repeated Wara.  
  
"That's what I said," Humphrey snapped. "Both the Jedi and the Sith banned love for stupid philosophical reasons. The Sith fear the power of true love, and the Jedi fear the power of love scorned."  
  
"But love is the most powerful form of magic ever!" Wara exclaimed.  
  
"Yes, and when Vader dies for his son, he will bring the power of love back to the Jedi Order."  
  
Jenny stared at the ground, tears in her eyes. "Will Vader come to Xanth when he dies?"  
  
"Vader won't," the Magician replied. "But Anakin will."  
  
She looked up eagerly. "Really?"  
  
"So that's why you said Raider needed the talent more than Cloudwalker," Metria noted. "You knew he'd come to Xanth."  
  
"Anakin is lost in the blackness that surrounds Vader's soul," Humphrey said quietly. "But love will save him yet."  
  
Author's Note  
  
The only reason I picked up "Dragon on a Pedestal" by Piers Anthony in a thrift store five years ago was the cover art -- I'm almost as obsessed with dragons as I am with Star Wars. But by the time I finished that book, I knew that I had to do two things: find more Xanth books (luckily, our local library keeps me well-stocked) and write a Star Wars/Xanth crossover.  
  
I was still struggling to find my fanfic niche, so the original plot involved Jango Fett and a five-year-old Boba Fett crash-landing on Xanth and having to find the Holey Grail, a vessel full of holes that turned ordinary water into powerful healing elixir, in order to repair the Slave. But the story didn't get written and didn't get written, and anyway, I had no idea how to execute it without turning it into a blatant "Indy and the Last Crusade" ripoff. So I shelved the idea.  
  
Around the time I was wrapping up my previous story, "The Armor of Vader," I decided to resurrect the Xanth idea and see if I couldn't still do something with it. I wanted to make it a Luke/Vader fic, of course, and by then I had read the Xanth novel "Demons Don't Dream," in which two Mundanian teenagers visit Xanth via computer game. After reading about the game, I thought "This is the perfect way for Luke and Vader to enter Xanth!" And the story developed from there. (For the record, Darius Dracotaur, the scheming dragon-centaur crossbreed Magician, was the intended villain for the Fett-based story and was the only original character that survived the L/V remake.)  
  
All in all, I'm pleased with the way "Centaur of Attention" turned out in the end. Though I do not claim it is in any way canon, it can't be classified as Alternate Universe either (unless it's an AU of "Shadows of the Empire"). If anything, it serves as a bridge piece between ESB and ROTJ, bizarre though it is. I wanted to attempt to explain how Luke could violently protest Vader's declaration in ESB and be so eager to bring him back in ROTJ, and how Vader could go from extreme baddie in ESB to tragic hero in ROTJ.  
  
For those of you wondering if Piers Anthony's Xanth works are really as crazy as "Centaur," the answer is no. I actually had to tone Xanth down a bit so the comedy and drama sequences didn't clash too horrendously. I'm not sure Luke or Vader would survive an hour in vintage Xanth. Otherwise, I have tried to keep this story true to Piers' style.  
  
One of the things I love about his books is that they never take themselves seriously. The characters openly talk about the proceedings being written down (though they refer to the books as "historical volumes by the Muses that some yahoo is smuggling into Mundania"). The references to Piers and myself aiding the Muses, as well as Vader seeing the section break in Chapter 5, pay homage to that.  
  
Another practice of Piers' is to incorporate existing people into his books. Jenny Elf is an example of this -- a young fan of the Xanth books was hit by a drunk driver and put in a coma, and as a tribute to her Piers inserted her in Xanth in the form of Jenny Elf. He keeps his fans updated on her condition through author's notes at the end of his books and even published his correspondences with her in a book, "Letters to Jenny."  
  
Other friends and fans of Piers have made it into the books -- but sadly, most of them are given this honor posthumously. It's as if Xanth has become his version of heaven.  
  
I've carried on with this tradition, as evidenced by my cameo in Chapters 7 and 20. The three Mundanians living in the Ogre-fen Ogre-fen in Chapter 16 are all real people, and I honor their memory by allowing them to aid Luke and Vader (whether they appreciate the honor, who can say). Matt Agnew was a classmate of mine in middle school who died in an accidental shooting when he was fourteen. Tracy Edwards, a friend from high school, was killed in a car accident shortly after graduating from high school in 2002. And my grandfather, David "Gale" Behunin, a fellow science fiction fan and avid reader, passed away in 2001 after a heart attack.  
  
The last inclusion in this story was our family dog Mistletoe -- Misty for short. Her pedigree included Alaskan Malamute, German Shepherd, Chow, and wolf. We had her from puppyhood until she was thirteen years old. She came down with cancer and had to be put to sleep in 2002. I don't need to describe her appearance or nature to you, because you know from the story. (I highly doubt she was Padme in disguise, though she always did seem apart from other dogs.)  
  
Piers Anthony loves his fans and is always eager to accept ideas from them, giving them credit for their ideas at the end of each book. Thus, I had few qualms about making up my own characters, puns, and locations for "Centaur." The following ideas were my own.  
  
Chang Centaur, Wara Werecorn, Darius Dracotaur, the two Aunties in Chapter 5, and the imps of Imp Ire in Chapter 14 were original characters. The rest can be found in at least one other Xanth book. Their personalities in this story match those in the books.  
  
Lake Eerie and Imp Ire are my own creation; the rest of Xanth can be found on the maps included in most Xanth books.  
  
Of the twenty-odd Xanth books, I have read ten -- "Night Mare," "Dragon on a Pedestal," "Golem in the Gears," "Vale of the Vole," "Demon's Don't Dream," "Harpy Thyme," "Geis of the Gargoyle," "Roc And a Hard Place," "Yon Ill Wind," and portions of "The Dastard." The following puns and concepts are not in the above books, but they may appear in one form or another in other Xanth books -- ass-ass-in droids, tulips, wormhole, blast-her, rock 'n' roll, snare drum, going hoarse, pole vault, tarp-pit, jelly beans, soap stone, Taylor, dust bunny, Golden Delicious apples, George Bush (deliberate poke at current events -- sorry), paper wasp, the concept of Xanth and Mundania's dream realms overlapping, porpoise, hole-o-graham, bolt of lightning, starfruit, rock slide, troll booth, all the ships except the Relation Ship, gold and silver oars, allegation snapping turtle, dizzy spell, insani-tree, Well Ee-nuph, Coulda Beans, dreamcatcher, cripple creek, strawberries, air plain, wind bag, air bag, air break, sea-biscuits (another current event joke), triginome-tree, house fly, dewbacks, and the Pillars. All other puns were Pier's ideas (or another fan's.)  
  
Some of you may be wondering why, of all the characters' issues, only Chang and Wara's were resolved. After all, you saw everyone's heart's desires in the dreamcatcher! Rest assured, they get settled. Piers isn't much for downer endings.  
  
I don't know if Jenny Elf ever returns to the World of Two Moons, but I'm told she finds true love in the book "Zombie Lover." Metria's problem is a two-part problem -- obtain a soul and have a child -- so the rest of her story is told in two books, "Harpy Thyme" and "Roc And a Hard Place."  
  
What about Luke and Vader? I intentionally left off at the Endor meeting in ROTJ (my absolute favorite scene out of the entire series) because I'm sure you, the reader, can guess the rest. Yes, I know it's a downer ending, but it's proper, from a certain point of view. For Anakin and Padme are together again in Xanth, and Luke has a means of visiting them there. I really can't think of a better ending than that. 


End file.
